Blargh! That Dude Got Jacked Up!

Another slice of life (death?) from With Leather. Lacrosse is a painfully boring sport, but hits like this would go along way to getting the sport off public access and on a more respectable channel... like Spike TV.

James Dolan's Pooch Screwing Clinic: Open For Business

So you're a gazillionaire owner of one of the biggest market pro basketball franchises on the planet. Maybe the biggest. Who cares if your team has the worst roster of overpaid, underachieving layabouts. Or that your insane coach/president is literally throwing stacks of hundred dollar bills into an incinerator on guys like Steve Francis, Malik Rose, Jerome James and Jared Jeffries. Or that with two first round picks in last year's draft, he went after two 2nd rounders. What does it matter that instead of Renaldo Balkman and Mardy Collins, you could have had Balkman and Marcus Williams, Rajon Rondo or Dan Gibson? Who cares if your coach mortgaged your future on Eddy Curry, and now you don't have a first round pick in one of the deepest drafts in years...
Wait a second. That should all really piss you off. Sure the Knicks are still making gobs of money, but just imagine how much more they'd make if they could make the playoffs, or even be a contender. So with the team performing better than it had in years, with Curry, Marbury and the rest of these salary thieves not embarrassing themselves on the nightly, you take the carrot they've been chasing and stick it in their mouths. It can't be denied; announcing Zeke's extension with plenty of time left to go in the season sent the Knicks on a pathetic slide.
In fact, for all the bravado about an improved team, they're barely better than the humiliation factory they ran last season. Plus, as Adrian Wojnarowski recently pointed out, the extension really means nothing. If they play bad enough, Isiah will get fired whether he has 1 year to go on his contract, or a thousand. Even Isiah knows this. But it seemed like the threat of unemployment had lit a fire under the Knickersuckers to play for the job of the coach they love so. So why take away their only motivation?
They clearly love Isiah, and why not? For all the rampant failure and underachieving that goes on in New York, the maddest I've ever seen any Knicks (including Isiah) get about anything, is when they think another team is running up the score on them. Thomas doesn't hold them to account for their failures, so they don't hold themselves either. Now there's talk of bringing in Rashard Lewis. I hope for his sake he makes the right decision and passes. What the hell do they even really need to go after 'Shard for? The problem isn't a lack of talented players (at literally every position). The problem is the atmosphere of mediocrity.
Just listen to Dolan when asked about the possibility of bringing in Jerry West, one of the most brilliant and unstoppable men in NBA history, both on the court and in the front office:
"I wouldn't say to Isiah, 'Hey, Isiah, Jerry's coming in and you've got to take it,'" Dolan said. "No, I would never do that." (Ken Berger, NewsDay)
Good call, why put the needs of the team, city and fans ahead of your borderline creepy relationship with Isiah Thomas, the man who ruined the Raptors, ruined the Pacers and now has ruined the Knicks. Why do that, when you can run a clinic on how to kill a franchise. That, my friends, is what we call "screwing the pooch."

Forbes Don't Know Basketball

Forbes isn't a sports magazine. It's about money, so it's not surprising that their list of best GMs in North American sports features some "dark horses," by sports standards. But how could this be right? #1 on their list is Kevin McHale. And if that weren't enough, #3 is BILLY KING! What? How is that possible? Forget their records, forget their colorful histories of boneheaded moves. How could the T-Wolves and Sixers be even financially viable, let alone successful, let alone two of the most successful in the NBA? There must be something on this list I'm missing, so if anyone out there can explain this, please do. Like why Brian Colangelo is 2nd to last on the list? Or how they could possibly justify Bickerstaff (lowest payroll) behind Isiah (highest payroll in universe). And why would R.C. Buford (Spurs) be behind Ernie Grunfeld (Wizards)? In fact, as TrueHoop points out, Buford is widely agreed to be the best in the biz. Know how you can tell? You never hear his name. He doesn't need to talk it up, doesn't need to comment on anything, 'cause his ship runs so damn smoothly. He seamlessly integrates new players with old, foreign with domestic, rookies and vets, etc. You never hear of discontent players in the locker room and you never hear about egos trying to co-exist. And you never hear about boneheads like Eddie Griffin and Chris Webber, bitching and moaning about god knows what, because Buford would never have signed them in the first place. Here's how the list looks. Here's how the list should look (at least the top 10):
1) R. C. Buford, San Antonio Spurs. Arguably the best team in the league for 10+ seasons and counting.
2) Brian Colangelo, Phoenix Suns/Toronto Raptors. Redefining game with foreign influences. Turned Suns into powerhouse, doing the same for Toronto.
3) John Paxson, Chicago Bulls. Took hapless, Jordanless, Bulls from embarrassment to contenders in remarkably short order. Seemingly preternatural ability to spot rookie talent.
4) Donnie Nelson, Dallas Mavericks. Best team in the league? A contender for the last 5 years, at least.
5) Joe Dumars, Detroit Pistons. Built the David that slayed Goliath.
6) Geoff Petrie, Sacramento Kings. Been packing Arco since the late '90s. Maybe the fans favorite GM.
7) Randy Pfund, Miami Heat. Hard to argue with the guy who put Riley, Wade and Shaq together with a trophy.
8) Jerry West, Memphis Grizzlies. The most basketball savvy and straight up guy there is. Built an efficient team oriented squad from nothing.
9)Elgin Baylor, LA Clippers. His team is the LA Clippers and they're on the verge of their second straight playoff appearance. Enough said?
10) Larry Bird, Indiana Pacers. His personnel choices have been suspect, but he still finds a way to win games with a pack of malcontents, criminals and idiots.

Head nod goes to TrueHoop for bringing this to our attention.