Sportswag Moving!!

We're getting a full-on real site. It's still under construcshe, but if you want to take a peek: www.sportswag.org
Hit it up! There's nothing there yet, but soon it'll be your favorite workplace diversion. For now, keep coming here everyday for goodness of all kind. Today's been slow (and I've been busy at work), but in general there's goodness...
Thanks to Au; loyal contributor, good Catholic, and snappy dresser, for setting us up with new digs.

Monday Biz

First, big thanks to GasFace for his guest bloggerizing of the Swag. We got straight gassed, son. Stay tuned for more from the Gas one, as the Bulls-Pistons and Cavs-Nets series' unfold.

Next, after yesterday's Phoenix v. San Antone melee, there can be no doubt Steve Nash is the league's MVP. Either him or TDuncs, but whichever one of them it is, it sure as hell isn't Dirk "Early Exit" Nowitzki. In fact, watching Nash play through a Rocky Balboa-like bleeder on his face just makes the handing of the MVP to Dirk that much more of a joke.

Don't be fooled by the Pistons' game 1 shellacking of Chicago. This is still gonna be a hell of a series. The Bulls needed a game to find their sea legs. Now that they got that one out of their system, I'm expecting them to give the Pistons fits at home and hell on the road. This baby's going to 7 games. I like the Pistons to defend their home court and come out on top.

Cavs baby, Cavs. We didn't look magical, but Bronny gets the job done. That's all we need. We can ride the King all the way to the big show if we play our cards right. Look for the Cavs to dominate the match ups they can control. Nobody expects Larry Hughes to light the world on fire against J-Kidd, and Bronny on Jefferson or Carter isn't exactly a dream come true on defense for the Cavs. But Z, Gooden and Varejao should all have their ways with Miki Moore, Josh Boone and Jason Collins. I'm also looking to Eric Snow for a big defensive and experience push for Cleveland. He did it last year for the Cavs against the Wizards.

Shed a tear for TMac. I can't believe Utah stole this one. I knew it would be a tough series, and Utah's no bunch of slouches, but how does a team with Mac and Yao (not to mention Shane Batty) not get out of the first round? Either way this spells good news for the Warriors, I think. The Jazz are an excellent defensive team, but I feel like Yao would have absolutely eaten the Warriors alive in the paint. I don't think Golden State would have been able to play "small ball" against the Rockets. They should be right in their wheel house against the Jazz' 3 forward-2 guard lineup.
We still believe, Bay Area, don't let the fire die down. We can ride this wave of momentum all the way into a West Finals blood bath with San Antone or Phoenix.

Suns and Spurs

No shocks here. Suns and Spurs finish off the ill deserving Nuggs and Lackeys. Kobe's a punk. Nash is a gamer, the true MVP. Spurs Suns is about to be an excellent series. Tomorrow night, Bay Area get ready...

Matt Barnes: It's Getting Ugly in Here

When asked about relations between the Mavs and Warriors, Matty Barnes had this to say (from Mercury News):

"The bottom line is, we don't like each other," Warriors forward Matt Barnes said. "We don't like them, they don't like us. It's going to get chippy, there's going to be hard fouls and that's the way we like to play."

I love this kind of mean spirited trash talk. Matt Barnes deserves special recognition for how he's played in this series. He's been phenomenal. Clearly Baron is the MVP, but Barnes has been the lightning rod, the intangibles factory, and the clutch-shot machine for the Warriors.
Add tattooed, ass whooping, Dirk dominating, destroyer to that list.

WARRIORS

It's good to live in the Bay Area. Baron Davis, Matt Barnes, Stephen Jackson, Mickael Pietrus are legends. 5:49 to go in the fourth quarter of game 5. Warriors up a point and they have the ball. Is history about to be made?


UPDATE: The answer is no. history will have to wait for thursday night in Oakland...

Understandable

Apologies to Nathaniel Friedman on my Slate rant yesterday. He commented on the blog, and I re-read his article. I still don't quite "agree," but I can see where he's going with it. I really kind of misunderstood it when I read it yesterday.
He's not advocating a shortening from the standpoint of someone who obsesses over basketball (me), but rather the "casual fan." And I can understand that most fans don't go home from work and park in front of the tube for 6 straight hours of Ernie, Charles, Kenny and the playoffs... everyday. And most of them don't play in 3 fantasy leagues and follow the stats and as many games as possible, all year, for all the teams. Additionally, I'd imagine, most of them don't know what the PER is, or the +/-, or why you should never listen to what Bill Walton is saying. (Even as I write this, I start to wonder; am I watching too much? The answer is no.)
So for them (being the vast majority of fans), I understand why he preferred the best-of-5 first round to the best-of-7, and he does actually make a good point about how more than half the league makes the playoffs. That doesn't really seem right when you think about it. Still, maybe it would just be better if we added an additional round or three, and just included all the rest of the teams...
Can you say 1 seed vs. 15 seed? 4 months of playoffs? 80 games in 80 nights? Lordy, that would be kick ass...

Slate's Idea of a "Sports Nut"

Apparently Slate, the respected online magazine, thinks a "sports nut," is someone who encourages you not to follow sports. This is Nathaniel Friedman. And this is what he thinks about the NBA playoffs. (Hat tip to GasFace for bringing this to my attention)
I'm shocked frankly, because I think he's also one of the guys behind FreeDarko which is a sweet blog.
He opens it up with a jaw dropper:

Even the most die-hard basketball fans think that the NBA playoffs are too long.

I'm a die-hard fan. I hang out with a few die-hard fans, and I read a bunch of other die-hard fans. And I'm being 100% honest when I tell you, I've never heard even a single one of them lament the length of the NBA Playoffs. Friedman raises a good point about the length and arduous nature of the playoffs, or "second season." But true "die-hard fans" get revved up by that. This is my favorite time of year. Now a good argument can be made to shorten the regular season. By shortening the grueling 82 game regular season, the players would be fresher, and therefore the post season would be more exciting, with a higher level of play.
Loving basketball as much as I do, I wish they'd just make the damn thing year round and add more games, but I see the wisdom in a proposed shortening of the regular season. But the playoffs are where the best games happen! The best players get to show their best stuff and we get to watch all of it! Proposing to cut that short is heresy.
Friedman continues with a comparison to football and baseball that attempts to illustrate why you should just watch part of the game (maybe the most asinine concept I've ever heard of...). All it does is illustrate why basketball is the greatest sport on earth. The game doesn't stop every 2 seconds, there are no long periods of guys just standing around. That's not a bad thing, that's one of the reasons basketball is both an action game, and a thinking man's game.
But if you're in a hurry, and looking for summaries, here's one: skip Friedman's article, close your laptop, watch every minute of playoffs basketball you can, celebrate the Cavs' victories with alcohol.
(And the congregation says) Amen.

Kanye isn't the Only Attraction in Chi-town

That's for damn sure.
The Bulls are the toast of the town once again. They absolutely embarrassed the Heat on Saturday, completing an improbable 4 game sweep of the defending champs. So much for the "Baby Bulls." These are men.
And these men may be the best team in the East. Detroit no longer looks like the clear favorite. They can turn it on and off at will, but they don't look nearly as hungry as they did 2 years ago. The Cavs have had the Bulls' number over the last couple years, but as much as I love the Wine and Gold, I think the Bulls just look like a more complete team.
They're fun as hell to watch, playing an 80's style of fundamentals-first basketball. But just to cover their bases they do have Ben Gordon, a Vinnie Johnson-style chucker who will either catch fire and torch you, or be cold as ice. I'm just hoping the Bulls'll be too tuckered after going 7 with the Pistons to go 7 with the Cavs...
Here's hoping.

Dave D'Alessandro: Pinko?

READ THIS

Now tell me you're not thinking the same thing as me: This D'Alessandro guy is a pinko, socialist, turncoat, french fries & gravy eating mofo if ever I've seen one.

It is a truly glorious place, this vast white suburb of Detroit, inhabited by 32 million people of generous spirit. The best part is they really want nothing in return, which is convenient because those of us on this side of the border don't really give back much.
They send us these magnificent gusts of fresh air in the spring and fall; we send back acid rain and other forms of environmental pollution. They give us Joni Mitchell and Bruce Cockburn; we send them Bill O'Reilly and MTV. They send us some really good adult beverages; we reward them by taxing their timber.

Ummm... Bruce Cockburn? Who the hell thanks Canada for this guy:

And let's not forget Brian Adams, Celine Dion and Mike Myers. Here's how I'd thank them for those 3; a punch in the stomach. I guess Bill O'Reilly sucks, but we also sent them The Ramones, Jenna Jameson and crack-cocaine. Not to mention a whole generation of hippie draft dodgers, who have no doubt become successful pillars of society. At least by Canadian standards. Granted MTV sucks hard, but without it, where would Bruce Cockburn have gotten the idea for those hard rocking earrings in his right ear. Let me sum up Canada's contributions to the world this way: Barenaked Ladies, Sandra Bullock, Robert Goulet, enough said. Actually I'm shocked he didn't mention Steve Nash, maybe Canada's only truly valuable contribution to society.

But really I'm more disturbed by the veracity with which people in general (and D'Alessandro specifically) are jumping on the Raptor band wagon. I get it, they're good. Great, grand, wonderful. They're still a punk ass 47 win team that will be losing in the first round very soon to the Nets, who are themselves not that good. They roped in the majority of those 47 wins playing against the worst collection of teams in pro sports, the Eastern Conference Atlantic Division.

They do have, as D'Alessandro says, a guy finishing in the top 5 in MVP voting (Bosh), one of the better PGs in the game (TJ Ford), One of the best rookies in the game (Bargnani), and a bench full of solid role fillers, like Mo Pete, Calderon and Garbajosa. So my question isn't why are they so good, but why aren't they better? Essentially the heat on the Raptors sounds a lot to me like the heat on the Magic at the end of last season. And as we have now discovered in round 1 against Detroit; they still suck.

Jews Love Colangelo?

Maybe... Check this nauseating little bit from the Toronto Star about how Bryan Colangelo got Anthony Parker from Maccabi Tel Aviv:

Colangelo offered $1 million and then $1.5 million to try to get Parker out. He thought that would be enough: Under the terms of the NBA's collective bargaining agreement, the most a team can pay to buy out a player is $500,000.
The rest of the money comes from the departing player.
In the end, as both a symbolic and significant buyout the Raptors offered $1.8 million to free Parker to sign in Toronto.
The 1.8 number comes from the Hebrew number 18, the number Parker now wears on his Toronto uniform: The Jewish symbol signifying life.
"I think they appreciated the figure," Colangelo said. "I've had others tell me that." Toronto Star

As a Jew who loves Israel, let me just say, this was the kind of gesture that Maccabi Tel Aviv smiled and shook hands over, then rolled their eyes as they turned away.

Yes it's true that 18 is the numerical equivalent of the Hebrew letters "chet" (pronounced like coughing up a hairball) and "yood". The two letters together spell "chai" (also pronounced like coughing up a hairball). As anyone who's ever seen Fiddler on the Roof can tell you, "chai" means "life."

And since the executives at Maccabi Tel Aviv are essentially Ewoks, this clever little play mystified the Israeli suits into letting Anthony "Peak After 30" Parker go for under market value. Colangelo pulled a C3PO on them, and convinced them he was a deity, come to reclaim Parker.

That's apparently the way Colangelo sees it. And, coincidentally, in a recent interview when asked about the future of the Raptors, he cryptically only answered, "If I were a rich man, yi da di da di da di..."

Look, the execs for Maccabi Tel Aviv, former EuroLeague champs, aren't bushmen, and they're not gonna trade the franchise for beads. They knew they were pretty much gonna lose Parker either way, so they wanted as much money as possible to court replacements. It's really that simple. I'd be willing to bet that they didn't even make the connection between the 1.8 and "life."

Colangelo didn't bottle the wind for them, or reconnect them with their ancestral spirits. He paid them. Believe it or not, in foreign lands basketball is still a business.

Which is not to say that Bryan Colangelo isn't welcome in the Swag HQ for Passover, we'd love to have him. Just save the cultural communing and clever trickery for the Euro League team from Endor.

We ain't buying.

Telfair Upddate (with an extra "d" for a double dose of this pimpin'...)

Gazaaah! Telfair's done. But the controversy might be just beginning... Check this from the Boston Globe.

"I wanted to let you know that we have removed Sebastian's nameplate from his locker in Waltham," wrote Grousbeck. "The facts and circumstances of his case have not been determined but he does not have a Celtics locker and we do not anticipate that he will." Boston Globe

Well that was a weird way to say you're done with the guy. Focus in on the important stuff... his locker. I bet his lawyer will be so utterly owned, he'll have no choice but to sheepishly skulk away...

"I just think that what [the Celtics] did was with the season over they saw a chance to take a public relations shot and they did," said Hayes. "He doesn't do drugs. He doesn't smoke. He takes good care of his family. He's never been involved in any of those deals with beating girlfriends or causing trouble in nightclubs. He is not a guy who embarrasses you. He's a nice young guy. He's had a tough year.
"Why do that [make a public statement about removing the nameplate]? Why not say, 'Give it a little time. We'll see what happened.' They should show more restraint after they told him not to cooperate with police against a group of hoodlums [in the Fabolous case] who have been terrorizing athletes and celebrities across the country." Boston Globe



Woah, did we just veer off into the tangential world of cross country gangsta-chic terroristas? Or is Hayes just referring to the paparazzi, who must incessantly hound Telfair on the red carpet with his A-List friends like Laura Dern and Sam Elliot?

What the hell is going on? Telfair isn't what you might describe as "good" at basketball, but he's also not horrible. He could be a contributor for a team. Frankly, I can't imagine how a dude gets cut for being arrested with a gun, cooperating fully with police in a completely non-violent incident. Meanwhile Stephen Jackson literally fires his gun in public, and doesn't even get suspended.
Am I reading the article correctly? Does it say Telfair could get a minimum of 3 years in jail? Yikes. With his small muscular build and soft angelic features, he'll be the Belle of the ball, if you know what I mean. It also doesn't bode well for him that he's "beefing" with Fabolous, who may or may not have "peeps" who are "on lock" for being "straight up thugs, son." I'm quoting from my standard issue David Stern's Guide to Understanding Hip Hop Culture (the DSGUHHC).

Sebastian Telfair: Through the Fire?

Or just opening fire? Interesting factoid: Sebastian Telfair has had more double-doubles in his career than run ins with the law over gun beefs. That's right, in 3 seasons the documentary film star has had 3 double doubles and 2 gun snafus. When you do the math on that, the Celtics finally realize what the rest of the league has known for a while; Sebastian Telfair sucks, and is not worth the trouble.
And now comes news the Celtics are doing the smart thing; pissing away the millions they spent on him, and "cutting ties." Even if Telfair hadn't gotten arrested, signing him last off season was a stupid gamble aimed at netting Iverson, which would have been a stupid trade. Ainge essentially mortgaged respectability at a chance to get the Answer. He may come out of all this smelling like roses if they land Oden or Durant, but that should be cold comfort to the Celts who remain years away from contending for the playoffs.
I'll admit that even I was wooed by Telfair's upside, but I realized even sooner than the Boston front office that signing Telfair was like bringing a knife to a gun fight.

Game 2s

I feel like George W at an Enron investor's party... everything's coming up Houston. For the second time in 3 days, TMac and Yao dominated Utah in the second half, and snatched victory from their conservative, sometimes polygamist, clutches. Actually, Mehmet looked pretty impressive and gave Yao some problems in the first half. But with his shooting stroke gone cold, the lusty Turk couldn't get it done on the offensive end. TMac was pretty cold in the first half, but he sank 'em when they counted and Houston took a commanding 2-0 lead going back to Salt Lake City.
The Pistons blah-ed their way to another vic against the sorely outclassed Magic. There's really not much to say here other than that the Pistons could win this series in 4 with Rip Hamilton literally playing with his eyes closed. Dwight Howard's shortcomings are being exposed like a roll of film.

Game 1 MVP

Call him Baron, call him B-Diddy. Call him what you want, just call him domination.

Baron Davis in Game 1 against the Mavs:
33 points, 14 rebounds, 8 assists, 3 steals, 1 block, 4 three pointers, 55% FG, 88% FT, 3 TOs

If we see a better game than that all playoffs long, I'd be surprised.

Good to Be a Cavs/Warriors Fan

For Cleveland transplants to the Bay Area, such as myself, there hasn't been a playoff this exciting in a looooooong time. In fact, the Cavs and Warriors haven't won playoff games in the same year since the 1991-92 season. So for 415/216 hybrids like myself, yesterday was a foreign emotion. I couldn't believe my eyes; both the Cavs and Warriors won, and pretty handily at that. Neither team looks like a title contender, but they both look interesting, and they both have a good time in store.
The Warriors barely squeaked into the post season, and being their first time in 12 seasons, they could've gone out 4-0 in thirty point poundings, and you still couldn't wipe the grin off Bay Area faces. We don't care how bad they lose, and neither do they. The result is that they're playing loose, comfortable, scrappy and chaotic. In short; they're playing Nellie Ball. As Dallas fans can attest, it'll never get you to the big show, but it makes for enjoyable and exciting games, lots of three pointers, and just maybe a prayer. With an impressive game 1 steal, the Warriors, once again control their own destiny. All they need to do, however unlikely a feat, is defend Oracle Arena. As long as they can run the board in Oakland, there's a growing possibility we'll get to see Mark Cuban have an aneurysm on national TV.
The Cavs certainly didn't look as punishing and controlling as I may have hoped. And the announcers/pundits/bloggers/assholes have been making them pay. Despite winning by the largest margin of any of the opening games, the Cavs have been roundly panned as the least persuasive winner so far. But I honestly don't mind. Charles Barkley insists the Wizards should be heartened that they can win games, possibly the series. I don't know what game he was watching. The Cavs should still sweep the Wizards, and I don't care if they they win the rest of the games by 1 point each. Getting to the next round in as few games as possible is the priority. The Cavs'll do fine. Pacing themselves in the first round against a sorely over matched opponent is no different from pacing themselves in the regular season. When the Cavs see the Pistons/Bulls/Heat in the conference finals, I want them to be as rested and hard to read as possible. Wish granted.

New Features at the Swag

The regular season is over, so I removed the scoreboard. It may make a resurgence as we start to blog about Football and (ugh...) Baseball. But for now let's make room for our new Tag Board, brought to you by CBox. It's pretty tight; kind of like an even quicker more visible, less relevant and completely unnecessary version of the comments section (which, by the way, is still there). AND I might add we haven't seen nearly as much commenting as we'd like to, so why don't we all make an effort? So in review: comment ya jerks, but in lieu of that, at least drop some soul on our tag board.

PLAYOFFS: Round 1... Buckle Up!

God damn I'm psyched. After a relatively lackluster regular season, the true season begins this Saturday. A 2 month spectacle of the best in the world doing what they do. And I'm so pumped for the playoffs I'm absolutely about to lose it. Let's take a peek at the match ups:

1-8s

Dallas Mavericks vs. Golden State Warriors

A lot of people are talking a lot of yang about Golden State's chances. Yeah, Nellie built the Mavs, nobody knows 'em better, and yes the Warriors have beaten the Mavs up and down over the last 2 seasons. But let's not get too crazy. This is playoff time in Dallas. I'd be pretty shocked if Dallas doesn't dispense with the pleasantries and smash the Warriors in 4, maybe 5, games. That said, the Warriors can win games when they're shooting well. There's just no way to stop a 5 man line where literally all 5 guys on the court can shoot 3s... if they're on. Golden State needs to catch fire and show some defensive toughness, which is far easier said than done. I just don't see how Golden State expects to defend Dirk. Their best defender is probably JRich, maybe SteJax, and neither one of them is truly big enough to stop the German Destruction Machine. SteJax's deep playoff (and championship) experience will come clutch, 'cause other than a couple years for Baron and maybe 1 or 2 seasons for Harrington, nobody else on this team has ever played any type of postseason basketball.

Progs: Dallas takes it 4-1. Golden State's MVPs will be Richardson and Jackson. Dallas will get Dallas performances out of Dirk, Josh, Jason and Jerry, and put this to bed with relative ease. Still, major kudos to the Warriors for hanging in.

Detroit Pistons vs. Orlando Magic

Murder. That's really the only word to describe what Detroit is going to do to Orlando. I would be very surprised if Orlando steals a game in this series. Here's why: Detroit is so superior to Orlando in every facet of the game, it's just not even amusing. For Orlando to win a game, they'll need Dwight Howard to play absolutely out of his mind, and not turn over the ball on every other play. Then they'll need Jam Nelson to wake up from his year long slumber. They'll need Arroyo and the rest of the bench to kick it up a notch, Grant Hill and Hedo to successfully coexist, and maybe most importantly; they'll need Darko to play like a man possessed. They need Darko to roll up all his anger and aggression toward Detroit, scrunch it up into a wee ball in his belly, and unleash it like a kamehameha all over the Palace. Another key for Orlando will be Trevor Ariza, who has been brilliant in limited action. I'd like to see him come out of his shell in the playoffs. As far as Detroit is concerned, they better win this quick, 'cause they'll see the winner of Chicago-Miami and then (most likely) Cleveland after, and they'll need to be as fresh as possible.

Progs: Detroit takes it 4-0. Expect Chauncey, Rip, Tay-tay and Sheed to show these young'ns what playoff basketball looks like. Expect Chris Webber to fade into irrelevance.

2-7s

Phoenix Suns vs. Los Angeles Lakers

I'm expecting a way less exciting re-match of the 7 game thriller from last year. Think about it, the Lakers are just as underwhelming, and the Suns are the same dominant team they were last year... plus Amare. And make no mistake; Amare will romp in the post season. Who's gonna stop him? Lamar Odom? Ronny Turiaf? Don't even dream of saying Andrew Bynum. It's true, Kwame should be back for the playoffs, and that'll help, but I'm still looking at the Suns to end this pretty fast. Kobe's uberclutchiosity should be worth a game or two, but not enough to make it interesting like last year. With Marion locking down Odom, and Bell doing as good a job on Kobe as can be done, Luke Walton's gonna need something supernatural for the Lakes to have a shot. And Raja Bell's defense is (if possible) even better this time around. I do hate being proven wrong by Kobe though, so I'm gonna extend him more respect than he deserves, to cover my bases.

Progs: Phoenix takes it 4-2, but the 4 wins will be blowouts, and the 2 losses will be overtime squeaks on Kobe heroics.

Cleveland Cavaliers vs. Washington Wizards

There has never been a better time to be a Cavs fan. New Jersey's win over the Bulls on Tuesday has written the Cavs an engraved invitation to the Eastern Conference Finals. All they need to do is crush a Washington team that is a wispy shadow of itself, and then beat the winner of Jersey-Toronto (which should be a cake walk), to earn a date with the tuckered out winner of the Chicago-Miami-Detroit melee. Honestly, there's no reason on earth why the Cavs can't make it to the Finals in less than 15 games. This is it Cleveland fans. For you Wizznutz out there, I wish you guys could be full strength so we could see a rematch of last year's overtime laden battle royale. It's unfortunate, but we'll take 'em like we can get 'em. Wizards have no hope.

Progs: Cavs take it 4-0. Antawn Jamison will come as close as anyone ever to winning the MVP of the finals while going out in the first round. He's gonna play so ferociously they'll tell stories of it for years. I'm talking 45 pts, 15 rebs, 5 assists, 4 threes, 4 steals and a block per night... in an ultimately losing effort.

3-6s

San Antonio Spurs vs. Denver Nuggets

I like this series as one of the best of the first round, but I'm still looking for San Antonio to win pretty decisively. Denver's been one of the best teams in the league in April. 'Melo and AI are meshing well, Camby and Nene are beasting on the block, Steve Blake is playing smart ball and Linas Kleiza is turning into a lights-out bench-weapon supreme. But I've been saying since day one that the Spurs have to be considered the favorite. If it weren't for Manu's last second foul-flub last year in game 7 against Dallas, I think the Spurs would have handily beaten Miami. I think this year justice will be served with a side of Southwestern dipping sauce. If Tony Parker and Manu do what they do and Tim Duncan doesn't get hit by an asteroid, the Spurs oughta lock it up.

Progs: Spurs take it 4-2. But with Nene's tough as nails athleticism and Camby's stout D, don't be surprised if Duncan looks tamer than usual.

Toronto Raptors vs. New Jersey Nets

This'll be another excellent series. Toronto looks like a team possessed, but I can't see them having a very easy time against Kidd, Carter and Jefferson, not to mention Nachbar doing his best impression of Kleiza. This could be a 7 game grind fest. The Nets are gonna find out that they miss Krstic even more than they thought, but Josh Boone and Miki Moore have been playing their asses off. They're gonna need to play the defensive series of their lives to bottle up Boshy. It'll pretty much all come down to Bosh. If he plays like he has all season, than I'd expect he'll also ramp it up for the playoffs. Of all those superstars from the '03 draft, 'Melo is the only one who hasn't shined in the post season. 'Bron, Wade, Hinrich and Howard have all been beasts in the playoffs, and I think Bosh's first trip will be a real test to see if he can truly hang with the elite from that class. I think he'll pass it... big time.

Progs: Toronto takes it 4-3. I'm looking for Kidd to be Kidd and Bosh to be Bosh. If Carter plays as well as he did last year in the playoffs, things could get even more interesting...

4-5s

Utah Jazz vs. Houston Rockets

Both of the 4-5 match ups in the playoffs feature 4 seeds without home court advantage. And I think it's gonna prove to be the difference. Houston looks as good as any team in the league, to me. With Yao and T-Mac healthy? Who can stop them? They might be my dark horse favorite to shock the world this year. This first round match will be a key litmus test. Utah is an excellent team, but they're slowing down. Houston's on fire, and that momentum should carry them through. What I love most about them is their defensive toughness. Forget about Yao and TMac on offense, how about Yao, Battier and Alston on D. If those three can neutralize Mehmet, Boozy and Deron Williams, Utah's gonna need miracles from AK. The key will be whether or not Mehmet can put up a fight against Yao. That said, he should also give Yao fits on the opposite end, peeling out to the Perimeter to jack up 3s. This one is gonna be a great series. If Houston wins decisively (4 or 5 games) I could see them going all the way. If they go 7 with Utah they'll be cooked for the second round when they have to play Dallas.

Progs: Houston takes it 4-2. Yao's gonna average 30 pts, 15 rebs, 3 blocks and the sexiest %s you've ever seen. Just see if he doesn't. In the end, I think Houston's gonna defend their home floor and ruin Sloan's year.

Miami Heat vs. Chicago Bulls

Miami is in trouble. They're as dangerous as anyone in the playoffs, but if Wade isn't back to 100% they're effed. In my opinion, right now, the Bulls are the best team in the East. They're gonna miss out on the Finals, because after beating Miami and Detroit, they'll be too spent to go 7 with Cleveland. But man are they good. Watching the Bulls play basketball right now is a pleasure. I even like them more than watching the Suns. They're not nearly as fast, but they're so fundamentally sound, they play exceptional defense, and every one of the first 8 or 9 guys in their rotation are brilliant decision makers. Even Tyrus Thomas is showing a knack for being in the right place at the right time. They rotate well, they're just smart basketball players... I can't say enough about them. But as per always you can't discount Wade and Shaqalacka together. There's truly no answer for those 2 guys when they're at 100%. Home court may decide this, and the Bulls have been lethal at home (31-10) this year. I like the Bulls too much, and I'm just not convinced Wade will be able to explode like he should.

Progs: Chicago takes it 4-2. If Wade is truly 100%, give the Heat an extra win, but the Bulls still prevail.

So that's it for the first round. Saturday has 4 games on TV, so buckle up chumps. The real season is about to start...

Delicious Cavs News...

In a brief 10-minute session with the media, Gilbert also touched on several other subjects:
o The owner said he would not have a problem paying the luxury tax in order to keep restricted free agents Anderson Varejao and Sasha Pavlovic, who figure to command major dollars in the offseason. Medina Gazette

That's what I want to hear. We need to keep Pavlo and the Brazilian Dandy. Without their tenacious bench play, the Cavs are lost. And Pavlo's blossomed into a legit starter for us. I'm psyched Gilly's gonna throw down the loot to keep us competitive.

James Dolan's Pooch Screwing Clinic: Open For Business

So you're a gazillionaire owner of one of the biggest market pro basketball franchises on the planet. Maybe the biggest. Who cares if your team has the worst roster of overpaid, underachieving layabouts. Or that your insane coach/president is literally throwing stacks of hundred dollar bills into an incinerator on guys like Steve Francis, Malik Rose, Jerome James and Jared Jeffries. Or that with two first round picks in last year's draft, he went after two 2nd rounders. What does it matter that instead of Renaldo Balkman and Mardy Collins, you could have had Balkman and Marcus Williams, Rajon Rondo or Dan Gibson? Who cares if your coach mortgaged your future on Eddy Curry, and now you don't have a first round pick in one of the deepest drafts in years...
Wait a second. That should all really piss you off. Sure the Knicks are still making gobs of money, but just imagine how much more they'd make if they could make the playoffs, or even be a contender. So with the team performing better than it had in years, with Curry, Marbury and the rest of these salary thieves not embarrassing themselves on the nightly, you take the carrot they've been chasing and stick it in their mouths. It can't be denied; announcing Zeke's extension with plenty of time left to go in the season sent the Knicks on a pathetic slide.
In fact, for all the bravado about an improved team, they're barely better than the humiliation factory they ran last season. Plus, as Adrian Wojnarowski recently pointed out, the extension really means nothing. If they play bad enough, Isiah will get fired whether he has 1 year to go on his contract, or a thousand. Even Isiah knows this. But it seemed like the threat of unemployment had lit a fire under the Knickersuckers to play for the job of the coach they love so. So why take away their only motivation?
They clearly love Isiah, and why not? For all the rampant failure and underachieving that goes on in New York, the maddest I've ever seen any Knicks (including Isiah) get about anything, is when they think another team is running up the score on them. Thomas doesn't hold them to account for their failures, so they don't hold themselves either. Now there's talk of bringing in Rashard Lewis. I hope for his sake he makes the right decision and passes. What the hell do they even really need to go after 'Shard for? The problem isn't a lack of talented players (at literally every position). The problem is the atmosphere of mediocrity.
Just listen to Dolan when asked about the possibility of bringing in Jerry West, one of the most brilliant and unstoppable men in NBA history, both on the court and in the front office:
"I wouldn't say to Isiah, 'Hey, Isiah, Jerry's coming in and you've got to take it,'" Dolan said. "No, I would never do that." (Ken Berger, NewsDay)
Good call, why put the needs of the team, city and fans ahead of your borderline creepy relationship with Isiah Thomas, the man who ruined the Raptors, ruined the Pacers and now has ruined the Knicks. Why do that, when you can run a clinic on how to kill a franchise. That, my friends, is what we call "screwing the pooch."

Didja Miss Me?

Of course you did. I'm not completely oblivious. I took the hint when you left a rim with a net in my bed. When I woke up, covered in Gatorade, I figured it was a message from the basketblogging mafia (Get it? That was supposed to be a play on the Godfather, think about it for a few minutes) telling me to bow to their will or be damned to the dustbin of blog failures. Well I won't bend over for any other blogs, I don't care how many politicians are in their pockets... Okay, I actually took a week off to manage my fantasy basketball team full time. You'll all be happy to know that with only today's games remaining, I am in 1st place with a 1.5 point lead. Pop the champagne bitches, the Cap'n's back.