Mike Freeman: Putting the "Slow" in Slow News Day

Monday's been pretty slow on the news front, and I've been pretty busy with my job that pays. I'll give you a hint, it's not blogging about basketball. Anyhoo, this little item from CBS Sportsline caught my eye... and then jabbed a fork in it and twisted. It's by Mike Freeman. Like Jemele Hill, I'm hoping this dunce isn't long for the journalism world...

I'm right. I'm right in thinking that the Florida Gators could probably beat five lower echelon NBA teams on a neutral court.

Ummm, no you're not right. Obviously this is one of those impossible to settle debates, like who's better; Shaq or Wilt? The reason is an NBA team will never play a college team, and even if they did, it would be an exhibition, and you couldn't take the results as meaningful, because the pro players would not risk injury and hustle their asses off. So clearly we need to settle this hypothetically. Unfortunate, because I'd love to see the Memphis Grizzlies dismantle the Florida Gators by something in the ballpark of 100 points. Every time I read some sports writer who has fallen in love with the "heart," and team play of college ball, I dread the inevitable declaration that _________ (insert university of choice) could beat an NBA team. But this guy is pushing the boundaries of journalistic integrity, rational thought, minimal basketball knowledge and at least a hundred other societal norms.

"The best college team of the last 10 years," Cuban told me in an e-mail, "would lose by 50 to any team at the bottom of the NBA."
That Cuban is so shy with his opinions.
Would the Gators really beat an NBA team?
When asked to explain further, Cuban said: "Because every guy on an NBA roster is better than 99 (percent) of guys on college rosters. They are more skilled, play harder and (are) bigger."
These are the teams Florida would definitely whup: Memphis, Boston and Milwaukee. No-brainers. Memphis might be one of the top 10 worst teams in the history of the sport. Boston is not far behind. Milwaukee is just awful.
After those teams, the Gators would give just about any of the lower-ranked Eastern Conference franchises a fight -- including the New York Knicks.
Go ahead and tell me about the gap in ability and athleticism between the NBA and college. Spout the tripe and nonsense about how great the NBA is. The league is not great; it's top heavy. It is the Mavericks, Detroit, Phoenix and San Antonio. Maybe Cleveland because they have LeBron James. Just about the rest of the league these days is middling, average ball at best.

Oh sweet lord! Thank God Cuban didn't hesitate to put this guy in his place. Memphis is bad. No denying it. And they've definitely had an awful season, one of the worst ever. But they were without their best player for half the year, had coaching and front office turmoil all year, and more than likely have been tanking games since the All Star break to jockey for position on Greg Oden. Incidentally, they have given many excellent teams runs for their money along the way. I'd say Corey Brewer and Joakim Noah could make the Grizzlies roster. They more than likely would not get cut or sent down to the D-League. That said, the rest of the Gators roster can't cut it in the NBA. Cuban is absolutely 100% correct when he states plainly that the worst NBA player is one of the top 1% of college players who can even have a professional basketball career of any kind, let alone make it in the NBA. I would expect that Noah's fieriness and screams of passion would be silenced relatively quickly once he's being guarded, and has to guard, a one Pau Gasol. Maybe Noah won't be a bust in the NBA, although I'm very skeptical of his fundamental skill (I get it, he's a team player, a coach's dream, a fiery passionate guy who loves to win... who has a pretty crappy shot, even from up close, and is deceptively small and unimposing for 6"11') but he would get dominated from top to bottom by an unstoppable beast like Pau. NBA players have to play against other NBA players. They don't get to hone their talents against 5"9', 120 pounders. They have to bump with 7"5' 280 pound freaks of nature. That's why only the best and biggest can do it.

These are the teams Florida would definitely whup: Memphis, Boston and Milwaukee. No-brainers.

There's definitely a no brainer involved here; it's Freeman. For him to suggest that Michael Redd, Andrew Bogut, Charlie Villanueva, Mo Williams and Bobby Simmons would lose against any 5 you could glean from the Gator roster, and what's more, to suggest it's obvious? That's criminal negligence in reporting. I would expect that game to end with a score in the neighborhood of 140-65 in favor of the Bucks. In fact, make it interesting; sub in Earl Boykins for Williams, and Ersan Ilyasova for Villanueva, Dan Gadzuric for Bogut, Charlie Bell for Redd and Ruben Patterson for Simmons. I'll take Ilyasova, Bell, Boykins, Gaddy, and Patterson over the Gators by a more respectable 120-75.
And that's not even factoring in the question of which court and rules they'd be playing with. If they play on the NBA court for 48 minutes with a 24 second shot clock, the college lightweights would have to learn to play a game that moves way faster with a 3 point arc that sits several feet father back. You see, in the NBA the arc is 23'9" from the hoop (22' on the baseline) in college it is 19'9". That's right, for those of you keeping track at home, that means the college "men" shoot from 4 feet closer than the NBA. Which means Earl Boykins could lie down head to tow in between the two arcs and that the college guys can't shoot from as far as the ladies of the WNBA. This would kill them. They'd be getting shot clock violations on every other play and since the college game relies entirely on unskilled shooters chucking as many 3s as possible, they'd actually have to play in the paint occasionally. So that farther line is not inconsequential. If it goes the other way and they play on the college court with the 35 second shot clock and the 3 point arc less than 20 feet from the basket, the Bucks would hit no less than 50 three pointers, while eating the clock, and potentially thrashing the Gators even worse.
God damn it! This painfully ignorant article is giving me a damn ulcer. I could write a hundred more pages on this subject, but let me just put it this way, there is a clear and indisputable hierarchy: High School Girls get beaten by College girls who get beaten by High School boys, who get beaten by WNBA women, who get beaten by College boys, who get undeniably dominated in every sense of the word by NBA players (the only lack of clarity comes with EuroLeague, which is slowly starting to prove it can compete on the NBA level). You see the delineation? It's all boys girls, and women until you get to the NBA. There are no men, only players. If a woman could play on the level of NBA players, she would be counted not as a woman, but as a player. And if she was on the Bucks, she would join in the absolute and unabashed extermination of the Florida Gators.

Terry Stotts: Gone

The third coaching casualty of the season came earlier today as the Bucks axed Terry Stotts. As with Casey and Bickerstaff, this is another guy I didn't think deserved to be fired. He's had his back broken all year by injuries to his 3 best players, Redd, Simmons and Villanueva, on a team that is just not that great to begin with. He's done an admirable job, but I guess that's that. From the sound of it, this was a pretty nice guy, and the team just needs a change of direction.
Read the whole thing here, from Yahoo! Sports.

George Karl: Douchebag

I have a soft spot in my heart for Karl, because he did take the Cavs to the playoffs in the '84-85 season. That feat puts him in a pretty exclusive club; the Cavs have only seen the postseason 14 times in 37 seasons (We went out in the first round in 10 of those 14 seasons). His colleagues in Cavs coaching legend are also an impressive bunch, other than Karl, the only Cavs coaches to take us into the post season are Bill Fitch, Lenny Wilkens, Mike Fratello and Mike Brown. So, with that little piece of history behind us, let me continue; Karl's a jackass. The bottom line is similar to Artest: these guys will never change. That's all there is to it. Karl, Artest, Terrell Owens, these guys can have a hundred life changing epiphanies in a thousand ashrams in India and it will never cure their dysfunction. They crave it. I once dated a girl like that. If I was nice to her and we didn't argue, she inevitably became, how shall I put this... "itchy." After a short honeymoon phase, she would pick a fight just so we'd have the excitement of fighting. I miss her... Which may explain why Karl, Artest and Owens continually get new chances, we miss the Artest who could be MVP, the Karl who could challenge the mighty ('96)Bulls for the trophy and the TO that can shut the F up and catch touchdowns. But the problem is, for every flash of potential they show, we're that much closer to another meltdown and another media whorefest. Karl's most recent one is calling out 'Melo as a straight up chump, and laying the Nuggets woes squarely at his feet. I watched the Nuggs play the other night and the problem is not 'Melo, per se. Yeah, he's selfish, one dimensional and not great on defense. The league is littered with dudes who don't do it on both ends. 'Melo is simply the best offensive player in the league. He can hit from anywhere on the court and has an unmatched inside/outside game. He can get to the stripe at will and, like his friend DWade, can actually hit his foul shots. He has much to work on; a big ego, an ugly mustache and he hits like a chick, but he's not "the reason" that the Nuggets suck. If you're looking for enlightenment on that one, question why a team with absolutely no need for Allen Iverson would sacrifice Andre Miller, a dude who was integral to their limited success, and salary cap freedom to get him? If anyone's to blame on this team it's Karl and Issel for their boneheaded construction. The way 'Melo, Camby and Nene are playing, if this team still had Miller, Karl would have nothing to bitch about. But he's got to deflect criticism from himself, and the only way this dysfunctional brat knows how, is to call his players out in the media. Regardless of how his words to 'Melo may have gone in one ear and out the other before, he knows from experience with Payton, Allen and Cassell, that calling your dudes out in the media is just gonna make things worse.