Apparently Slate, the respected online magazine, thinks a "sports nut," is someone who encourages you not to follow sports. This is Nathaniel Friedman. And this is what he thinks about the NBA playoffs. (Hat tip to GasFace for bringing this to my attention)
I'm shocked frankly, because I think he's also one of the guys behind FreeDarko which is a sweet blog.
He opens it up with a jaw dropper:
Even the most die-hard basketball fans think that the NBA playoffs are too long.
I'm a die-hard fan. I hang out with a few die-hard fans, and I read a bunch of other die-hard fans. And I'm being 100% honest when I tell you, I've never heard even a single one of them lament the length of the NBA Playoffs. Friedman raises a good point about the length and arduous nature of the playoffs, or "second season." But true "die-hard fans" get revved up by that. This is my favorite time of year. Now a good argument can be made to shorten the regular season. By shortening the grueling 82 game regular season, the players would be fresher, and therefore the post season would be more exciting, with a higher level of play.
Loving basketball as much as I do, I wish they'd just make the damn thing year round and add more games, but I see the wisdom in a proposed shortening of the regular season. But the playoffs are where the best games happen! The best players get to show their best stuff and we get to watch all of it! Proposing to cut that short is heresy.
Friedman continues with a comparison to football and baseball that attempts to illustrate why you should just watch part of the game (maybe the most asinine concept I've ever heard of...). All it does is illustrate why basketball is the greatest sport on earth. The game doesn't stop every 2 seconds, there are no long periods of guys just standing around. That's not a bad thing, that's one of the reasons basketball is both an action game, and a thinking man's game.
But if you're in a hurry, and looking for summaries, here's one: skip Friedman's article, close your laptop, watch every minute of playoffs basketball you can, celebrate the Cavs' victories with alcohol.
(And the congregation says) Amen.
Monday, April 30, 2007
Gilbert Arenas: Douchebag?
In the pantheon of satisfying Cleveland sports moments (and believe me, it's a wee tiny pantheon), LeBron's psych out of Agent Zero at the end of game 6 of the 2006 playoffs ranks very high. For two reasons: LeBron wrote himself into playoff lore by whispering in Arenas' ear, and the Cavs won their first playoff series in 200 years. But I just found a third; I frickin' hate Arenas.
What kind of self obsessed, obnoxious little prick is this guy? Apparently the kind who'll call a press conference to announce he's on the cover of a video game. Even Samus Aron, famous for being a diva, didn't call a press conference when she made the cover of Metroid.
Adrian Wojnarowski does an excellent job of taking Arenas to task in his latest blog entry. Read that here. Well played Woj.
What a douchebag. But even more annoying is the fact that Arenas is not traveling with the Wizards, he's not rooting for them, helping their ailing confidence, trying to get in the Cavs' heads, nothing. Caron Butler is doing everything he can, short of cracking open his cast and jumping on the court in his suit. Caron Butler is a young beast, full of heart, good spirits and team camaraderie.
Arenas is a prick, and there's only one thing he's full of: himself.
And shit. Okay, 2 things...
What kind of self obsessed, obnoxious little prick is this guy? Apparently the kind who'll call a press conference to announce he's on the cover of a video game. Even Samus Aron, famous for being a diva, didn't call a press conference when she made the cover of Metroid.
Adrian Wojnarowski does an excellent job of taking Arenas to task in his latest blog entry. Read that here. Well played Woj.
What a douchebag. But even more annoying is the fact that Arenas is not traveling with the Wizards, he's not rooting for them, helping their ailing confidence, trying to get in the Cavs' heads, nothing. Caron Butler is doing everything he can, short of cracking open his cast and jumping on the court in his suit. Caron Butler is a young beast, full of heart, good spirits and team camaraderie.
Arenas is a prick, and there's only one thing he's full of: himself.
And shit. Okay, 2 things...
I'd Love to See This Dude in a Dunk Contest
No really, I'd love to see this dude in a dunk contest.
The NFL draft happened this past weekend. Much reason to celebrate in Oakland, San Fran and Cleveland. So I'm happy. But the Bills have locked up my new favorite player, John Wendling. Peep this nugget of gold (purloined from With Leather):
Yeah, that's 66 inches. Note to opposing quarter backs: throw high.
Real high.
The NFL draft happened this past weekend. Much reason to celebrate in Oakland, San Fran and Cleveland. So I'm happy. But the Bills have locked up my new favorite player, John Wendling. Peep this nugget of gold (purloined from With Leather):
Yeah, that's 66 inches. Note to opposing quarter backs: throw high.
Real high.
Kanye isn't the Only Attraction in Chi-town
That's for damn sure.
The Bulls are the toast of the town once again. They absolutely embarrassed the Heat on Saturday, completing an improbable 4 game sweep of the defending champs. So much for the "Baby Bulls." These are men.
And these men may be the best team in the East. Detroit no longer looks like the clear favorite. They can turn it on and off at will, but they don't look nearly as hungry as they did 2 years ago. The Cavs have had the Bulls' number over the last couple years, but as much as I love the Wine and Gold, I think the Bulls just look like a more complete team.
They're fun as hell to watch, playing an 80's style of fundamentals-first basketball. But just to cover their bases they do have Ben Gordon, a Vinnie Johnson-style chucker who will either catch fire and torch you, or be cold as ice. I'm just hoping the Bulls'll be too tuckered after going 7 with the Pistons to go 7 with the Cavs...
Here's hoping.
The Bulls are the toast of the town once again. They absolutely embarrassed the Heat on Saturday, completing an improbable 4 game sweep of the defending champs. So much for the "Baby Bulls." These are men.
And these men may be the best team in the East. Detroit no longer looks like the clear favorite. They can turn it on and off at will, but they don't look nearly as hungry as they did 2 years ago. The Cavs have had the Bulls' number over the last couple years, but as much as I love the Wine and Gold, I think the Bulls just look like a more complete team.
They're fun as hell to watch, playing an 80's style of fundamentals-first basketball. But just to cover their bases they do have Ben Gordon, a Vinnie Johnson-style chucker who will either catch fire and torch you, or be cold as ice. I'm just hoping the Bulls'll be too tuckered after going 7 with the Pistons to go 7 with the Cavs...
Here's hoping.
Bulls, Pistons, Cavs, Nets, Suns... Warriors?
San Antone and Denver is an interesting series. The Spurs are clearly superior, but Denver is an excellent team and they're playing their asses off. Houston and Utah is damn sure turning into a 7 game duke-fest for supremacy. So none of them can be lumped into the group of teams whooping serious ass in the first round.
The Bulls and Pistons successfully completed sweeps, humiliating their respective opponents. The Cavs should join that club by finishing their sweep of the Wizards tonight. Despite all the shit being talked all over the league about how great the Raptors are, they will likely be shown the door tomorrow night on their own home court. The Nets have pretty much wrapped up a very convincing argument that they are not only better than the Raps, but so much better it's not really even a contest. The Suns gave me a scare losing that one game to the Lakers, but as I expected, Kobe's heroics are really only good for 1, maybe 2 games in a series. Unless a miracle occurs, Suns should take it in 5.
Which leaves only one series. I certainly expected that I'd group that series in with the other slaughterhouses. But I expected to be talking about a Mavs sweep. I never thought in a million years I'd be writing about the Warriors with a 3-1 lead. I was at Oracle arena in Oakland last night to watch Baron Davis wash away years of bad memories of shoddy work ethic, poor conditioning, injury, disappointment, lack of leadership, bad breath and dandruff, with a legendary performance in a blemish-free Game 4 take down of the Mavericks.
It was a glory to behold.
The Warriors played defense. For real, no-shit, man-up, lock down defense. Dirk had a good game, but he looked tamed out there. Mikael Pietrus is a defensive whirlwind who can drain 3s. Matt Barnes may be the most energetic, level headed, fundamentally sound 6th man in the business. Biedrins is a spry 7 ft rebound machine, and he's faster than the dickens. Monta Ellis is a breath of fresh air in a sea of disappointing prep-to-pro air heads. Jason Richardson? How about one of the most versatile, athletic, high energy guards in the league. Al Harrington has been cold on the offensive end, but never out of energy. Baron Davis and Stephen Jackson are writing their names into playoff legend. They're hitting shots, creating shots, playing D, and hyping up the home crowd like you can't imagine.
When Baron hit a nearly half-court 3 pointer at the buzzer before half time there was a palpable feeling in Oakland. A foreign emotion for Bay Area basketball fans that's as tangible as the 20,000 "We Believe," towels being twirled by the Warriors faithful:
We can win this.
And not just one game, or one series. The Warriors are a threat. A scrappy, energetic threat to the NBA's Southwest power elite. Dallas is soiling their pants wondering what to do next. That's for sure. But you have to start wondering if Houston, San Antonio or Phoenix can have much more luck against this rowdy bunch from Oakland. Buckle up Bay Area fans. The Warriors mean business.
The Bulls and Pistons successfully completed sweeps, humiliating their respective opponents. The Cavs should join that club by finishing their sweep of the Wizards tonight. Despite all the shit being talked all over the league about how great the Raptors are, they will likely be shown the door tomorrow night on their own home court. The Nets have pretty much wrapped up a very convincing argument that they are not only better than the Raps, but so much better it's not really even a contest. The Suns gave me a scare losing that one game to the Lakers, but as I expected, Kobe's heroics are really only good for 1, maybe 2 games in a series. Unless a miracle occurs, Suns should take it in 5.
Which leaves only one series. I certainly expected that I'd group that series in with the other slaughterhouses. But I expected to be talking about a Mavs sweep. I never thought in a million years I'd be writing about the Warriors with a 3-1 lead. I was at Oracle arena in Oakland last night to watch Baron Davis wash away years of bad memories of shoddy work ethic, poor conditioning, injury, disappointment, lack of leadership, bad breath and dandruff, with a legendary performance in a blemish-free Game 4 take down of the Mavericks.
It was a glory to behold.
The Warriors played defense. For real, no-shit, man-up, lock down defense. Dirk had a good game, but he looked tamed out there. Mikael Pietrus is a defensive whirlwind who can drain 3s. Matt Barnes may be the most energetic, level headed, fundamentally sound 6th man in the business. Biedrins is a spry 7 ft rebound machine, and he's faster than the dickens. Monta Ellis is a breath of fresh air in a sea of disappointing prep-to-pro air heads. Jason Richardson? How about one of the most versatile, athletic, high energy guards in the league. Al Harrington has been cold on the offensive end, but never out of energy. Baron Davis and Stephen Jackson are writing their names into playoff legend. They're hitting shots, creating shots, playing D, and hyping up the home crowd like you can't imagine.
When Baron hit a nearly half-court 3 pointer at the buzzer before half time there was a palpable feeling in Oakland. A foreign emotion for Bay Area basketball fans that's as tangible as the 20,000 "We Believe," towels being twirled by the Warriors faithful:
We can win this.
And not just one game, or one series. The Warriors are a threat. A scrappy, energetic threat to the NBA's Southwest power elite. Dallas is soiling their pants wondering what to do next. That's for sure. But you have to start wondering if Houston, San Antonio or Phoenix can have much more luck against this rowdy bunch from Oakland. Buckle up Bay Area fans. The Warriors mean business.
Friday, April 27, 2007
Dave D'Alessandro: Pinko?
READ THIS
Now tell me you're not thinking the same thing as me: This D'Alessandro guy is a pinko, socialist, turncoat, french fries & gravy eating mofo if ever I've seen one.
It is a truly glorious place, this vast white suburb of Detroit, inhabited by 32 million people of generous spirit. The best part is they really want nothing in return, which is convenient because those of us on this side of the border don't really give back much.
They send us these magnificent gusts of fresh air in the spring and fall; we send back acid rain and other forms of environmental pollution. They give us Joni Mitchell and Bruce Cockburn; we send them Bill O'Reilly and MTV. They send us some really good adult beverages; we reward them by taxing their timber.
They send us these magnificent gusts of fresh air in the spring and fall; we send back acid rain and other forms of environmental pollution. They give us Joni Mitchell and Bruce Cockburn; we send them Bill O'Reilly and MTV. They send us some really good adult beverages; we reward them by taxing their timber.
Ummm... Bruce Cockburn? Who the hell thanks Canada for this guy:
And let's not forget Brian Adams, Celine Dion and Mike Myers. Here's how I'd thank them for those 3; a punch in the stomach. I guess Bill O'Reilly sucks, but we also sent them The Ramones, Jenna Jameson and crack-cocaine. Not to mention a whole generation of hippie draft dodgers, who have no doubt become successful pillars of society. At least by Canadian standards. Granted MTV sucks hard, but without it, where would Bruce Cockburn have gotten the idea for those hard rocking earrings in his right ear. Let me sum up Canada's contributions to the world this way: Barenaked Ladies, Sandra Bullock, Robert Goulet, enough said. Actually I'm shocked he didn't mention Steve Nash, maybe Canada's only truly valuable contribution to society.
But really I'm more disturbed by the veracity with which people in general (and D'Alessandro specifically) are jumping on the Raptor band wagon. I get it, they're good. Great, grand, wonderful. They're still a punk ass 47 win team that will be losing in the first round very soon to the Nets, who are themselves not that good. They roped in the majority of those 47 wins playing against the worst collection of teams in pro sports, the Eastern Conference Atlantic Division.
They do have, as D'Alessandro says, a guy finishing in the top 5 in MVP voting (Bosh), one of the better PGs in the game (TJ Ford), One of the best rookies in the game (Bargnani), and a bench full of solid role fillers, like Mo Pete, Calderon and Garbajosa. So my question isn't why are they so good, but why aren't they better? Essentially the heat on the Raptors sounds a lot to me like the heat on the Magic at the end of last season. And as we have now discovered in round 1 against Detroit; they still suck.
Have You Seen Her?
If you're asking do I watch WNBA? The answer is no. Given a choice between watching WNBA and watching warbly 1987 VHS copies of "This Old House," I would choose the latter. WNBA is barely more interesting than baseball.
Until this!
Woah! Punching out an opponent. That's very Ron Artest of Miss Jackson. Of course when when she was detained by the multiple Israeli soldiers armed with M16 grenade launching assault rifles, I'm sure she toned down her fiery rhetoric. Still, a punch out is good for me tuning into one WNBA game this season. In fact, new rule: every time a WNBA player punches someone out, I'll watch a game. Two games if they do it on the court, rather than in the parking lot.
This could be WNBA's golden opportunity to boost ratings, and avoid folding for one more season.
Until this!
Woah! Punching out an opponent. That's very Ron Artest of Miss Jackson. Of course when when she was detained by the multiple Israeli soldiers armed with M16 grenade launching assault rifles, I'm sure she toned down her fiery rhetoric. Still, a punch out is good for me tuning into one WNBA game this season. In fact, new rule: every time a WNBA player punches someone out, I'll watch a game. Two games if they do it on the court, rather than in the parking lot.
This could be WNBA's golden opportunity to boost ratings, and avoid folding for one more season.
Thursday, April 26, 2007
Mario Kart Counts as Sports, Right?
This would be way cooler if there was an actual race course and the karts shot stuff at each other. But it is kind of a cool concept. This might be the next step for those pocket RCs.
Jews Love Colangelo?
Maybe... Check this nauseating little bit from the Toronto Star about how Bryan Colangelo got Anthony Parker from Maccabi Tel Aviv:
Colangelo didn't bottle the wind for them, or reconnect them with their ancestral spirits. He paid them. Believe it or not, in foreign lands basketball is still a business.
Which is not to say that Bryan Colangelo isn't welcome in the Swag HQ for Passover, we'd love to have him. Just save the cultural communing and clever trickery for the Euro League team from Endor.
Colangelo offered $1 million and then $1.5 million to try to get Parker out. He thought that would be enough: Under the terms of the NBA's collective bargaining agreement, the most a team can pay to buy out a player is $500,000.
The rest of the money comes from the departing player.
In the end, as both a symbolic and significant buyout the Raptors offered $1.8 million to free Parker to sign in Toronto.
The 1.8 number comes from the Hebrew number 18, the number Parker now wears on his Toronto uniform: The Jewish symbol signifying life.
"I think they appreciated the figure," Colangelo said. "I've had others tell me that." Toronto Star
The rest of the money comes from the departing player.
In the end, as both a symbolic and significant buyout the Raptors offered $1.8 million to free Parker to sign in Toronto.
The 1.8 number comes from the Hebrew number 18, the number Parker now wears on his Toronto uniform: The Jewish symbol signifying life.
"I think they appreciated the figure," Colangelo said. "I've had others tell me that." Toronto Star
As a Jew who loves Israel, let me just say, this was the kind of gesture that Maccabi Tel Aviv smiled and shook hands over, then rolled their eyes as they turned away.
Yes it's true that 18 is the numerical equivalent of the Hebrew letters "chet" (pronounced like coughing up a hairball) and "yood". The two letters together spell "chai" (also pronounced like coughing up a hairball). As anyone who's ever seen Fiddler on the Roof can tell you, "chai" means "life."
And since the executives at Maccabi Tel Aviv are essentially Ewoks, this clever little play mystified the Israeli suits into letting Anthony "Peak After 30" Parker go for under market value. Colangelo pulled a C3PO on them, and convinced them he was a deity, come to reclaim Parker.
That's apparently the way Colangelo sees it. And, coincidentally, in a recent interview when asked about the future of the Raptors, he cryptically only answered, "If I were a rich man, yi da di da di da di..."
Look, the execs for Maccabi Tel Aviv, former EuroLeague champs, aren't bushmen, and they're not gonna trade the franchise for beads. They knew they were pretty much gonna lose Parker either way, so they wanted as much money as possible to court replacements. It's really that simple. I'd be willing to bet that they didn't even make the connection between the 1.8 and "life."
Colangelo didn't bottle the wind for them, or reconnect them with their ancestral spirits. He paid them. Believe it or not, in foreign lands basketball is still a business.
Which is not to say that Bryan Colangelo isn't welcome in the Swag HQ for Passover, we'd love to have him. Just save the cultural communing and clever trickery for the Euro League team from Endor.
We ain't buying.
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
LeBron's Sprite Disaster
LeBron's Sprite commercial that's been playing every 35 seconds on TNT playoff coverage, and just came on as I'm writing this (let's see if I can finish the post before the commercial ends... awww crap), is just awful. It's painfully not funny. Like a dentist dressed as a clown, but who isn't being jolly and is scaling your gums without anesthesia.
You've seen it; it has Bronny shooting up a giant tongue with lemon and lime paint balls. The whole thing is supposed to be like subliminal messaging, only they club you in the face with all the images, so it doesn't really activate your subconscious... although I do feel like playing paintball. It feels like they were hedging their bets, thinking "either they'll think it's avant garde and cool, or they'll think it's ridiculous and funny."
I also take issue with their "lymon," ad campaign for two reasons. First, that's not ground breaking. Citrus sodas were founded on the concept of lemon and lime. They've always featured the mix. From 7Up through Mello Yellow, none of them were strictly lemon, or strictly lime. The fact that Sprite is unveiling the lemon and lime together in a drink like it's an SUV that runs on Tang is just insulting. Secondly, and this may be the most important factor, "lymon," purports to be a mix between lemon and lime, which is all well and good. But neither the word lemon, nor the word lime, feature the letter "Y."
And as I wrap this up, it comes on again... I'm buying stock in 7Up.
You've seen it; it has Bronny shooting up a giant tongue with lemon and lime paint balls. The whole thing is supposed to be like subliminal messaging, only they club you in the face with all the images, so it doesn't really activate your subconscious... although I do feel like playing paintball. It feels like they were hedging their bets, thinking "either they'll think it's avant garde and cool, or they'll think it's ridiculous and funny."
I also take issue with their "lymon," ad campaign for two reasons. First, that's not ground breaking. Citrus sodas were founded on the concept of lemon and lime. They've always featured the mix. From 7Up through Mello Yellow, none of them were strictly lemon, or strictly lime. The fact that Sprite is unveiling the lemon and lime together in a drink like it's an SUV that runs on Tang is just insulting. Secondly, and this may be the most important factor, "lymon," purports to be a mix between lemon and lime, which is all well and good. But neither the word lemon, nor the word lime, feature the letter "Y."
And as I wrap this up, it comes on again... I'm buying stock in 7Up.
More Game 2s
The Bulls racked the Heat last night, and it's official: I love the freakin' Bulls. Luol Deng and Adres Nocioni are both in my top 10 list of players the Cavs need before they can take the next step, and Hinrich is the prototype of what a point guard should be. Ben Gordon doesn't always take the smartest shots, but he can hit from anywhere, and more & more I find myself impressed with his driving ability. The front court combo of Wallace, Brown and Thomas can clearly tangle with any front court in the league. Duhon is as competent a backup point as there is in the league, and could probably start on most teams. And as if that all weren't enough, Thabo Sefolosha is rapidly becoming one of my favorite rookies. Not to mention they're the best defensive team in the playoffs outside of San Antonio. Watching the game last night, all I could think was how old the Bulls make the Heat look. Anybody still clinging to the illusion that the Heat can repeat needs to wake up. Maybe if Wade were 100%... maybe. But he's clearly not all the way back yet. This one's as good as over.
I like the Suns almost as much as I like the Bulls. And now I have another reason to love them; they make Kobe look like a WNBA player. Last night they beat the Lakers to the tune of 30 points, and for the majority of the 2nd and 3rd quarters made the Lakers look like a high school team. A shitty high school team.
The most annoying thing is how much the announcers were slobbering all over him even while he played like crap, his team played like crap, and he didn't even have the decency to go to the sideline and commit harikiri. Kobe misses an ugly turn around jumper in triple coverage? "He's just so hard to cover." Kobe makes an ugly and ill advised pass to a guy who hasn't hit a shot all night (Walton) when he could have easily gone to the bucket? "Kobe sees the court so well." Kobe's team is down 30+ points and he doesn't even look like he cares? "Kobe is such a good leader!" When are we gonna stop calling this guy the greatest? He's got the talent, to be sure, but at this point it should be clear that his ability to win games is, at best, on par with guys like McGrady, Carter and Pierce. They kept talking about the Suns being wary of Kobe miracles, but I can't remember the last "Kobe miracle" I saw. Other than when he turned those stadium nachos into loaves of bread and my 32 oz. Pepsi into wine...
I like the Suns almost as much as I like the Bulls. And now I have another reason to love them; they make Kobe look like a WNBA player. Last night they beat the Lakers to the tune of 30 points, and for the majority of the 2nd and 3rd quarters made the Lakers look like a high school team. A shitty high school team.
The most annoying thing is how much the announcers were slobbering all over him even while he played like crap, his team played like crap, and he didn't even have the decency to go to the sideline and commit harikiri. Kobe misses an ugly turn around jumper in triple coverage? "He's just so hard to cover." Kobe makes an ugly and ill advised pass to a guy who hasn't hit a shot all night (Walton) when he could have easily gone to the bucket? "Kobe sees the court so well." Kobe's team is down 30+ points and he doesn't even look like he cares? "Kobe is such a good leader!" When are we gonna stop calling this guy the greatest? He's got the talent, to be sure, but at this point it should be clear that his ability to win games is, at best, on par with guys like McGrady, Carter and Pierce. They kept talking about the Suns being wary of Kobe miracles, but I can't remember the last "Kobe miracle" I saw. Other than when he turned those stadium nachos into loaves of bread and my 32 oz. Pepsi into wine...
Telfair Upddate (with an extra "d" for a double dose of this pimpin'...)
Gazaaah! Telfair's done. But the controversy might be just beginning... Check this from the Boston Globe.
"I wanted to let you know that we have removed Sebastian's nameplate from his locker in Waltham," wrote Grousbeck. "The facts and circumstances of his case have not been determined but he does not have a Celtics locker and we do not anticipate that he will." Boston Globe
Well that was a weird way to say you're done with the guy. Focus in on the important stuff... his locker. I bet his lawyer will be so utterly owned, he'll have no choice but to sheepishly skulk away...
"I just think that what [the Celtics] did was with the season over they saw a chance to take a public relations shot and they did," said Hayes. "He doesn't do drugs. He doesn't smoke. He takes good care of his family. He's never been involved in any of those deals with beating girlfriends or causing trouble in nightclubs. He is not a guy who embarrasses you. He's a nice young guy. He's had a tough year.
"Why do that [make a public statement about removing the nameplate]? Why not say, 'Give it a little time. We'll see what happened.' They should show more restraint after they told him not to cooperate with police against a group of hoodlums [in the Fabolous case] who have been terrorizing athletes and celebrities across the country." Boston Globe
Woah, did we just veer off into the tangential world of cross country gangsta-chic terroristas? Or is Hayes just referring to the paparazzi, who must incessantly hound Telfair on the red carpet with his A-List friends like Laura Dern and Sam Elliot?
What the hell is going on? Telfair isn't what you might describe as "good" at basketball, but he's also not horrible. He could be a contributor for a team. Frankly, I can't imagine how a dude gets cut for being arrested with a gun, cooperating fully with police in a completely non-violent incident. Meanwhile Stephen Jackson literally fires his gun in public, and doesn't even get suspended.
Am I reading the article correctly? Does it say Telfair could get a minimum of 3 years in jail? Yikes. With his small muscular build and soft angelic features, he'll be the Belle of the ball, if you know what I mean. It also doesn't bode well for him that he's "beefing" with Fabolous, who may or may not have "peeps" who are "on lock" for being "straight up thugs, son." I'm quoting from my standard issue David Stern's Guide to Understanding Hip Hop Culture (the DSGUHHC).
"I wanted to let you know that we have removed Sebastian's nameplate from his locker in Waltham," wrote Grousbeck. "The facts and circumstances of his case have not been determined but he does not have a Celtics locker and we do not anticipate that he will." Boston Globe
Well that was a weird way to say you're done with the guy. Focus in on the important stuff... his locker. I bet his lawyer will be so utterly owned, he'll have no choice but to sheepishly skulk away...
"I just think that what [the Celtics] did was with the season over they saw a chance to take a public relations shot and they did," said Hayes. "He doesn't do drugs. He doesn't smoke. He takes good care of his family. He's never been involved in any of those deals with beating girlfriends or causing trouble in nightclubs. He is not a guy who embarrasses you. He's a nice young guy. He's had a tough year.
"Why do that [make a public statement about removing the nameplate]? Why not say, 'Give it a little time. We'll see what happened.' They should show more restraint after they told him not to cooperate with police against a group of hoodlums [in the Fabolous case] who have been terrorizing athletes and celebrities across the country." Boston Globe
Woah, did we just veer off into the tangential world of cross country gangsta-chic terroristas? Or is Hayes just referring to the paparazzi, who must incessantly hound Telfair on the red carpet with his A-List friends like Laura Dern and Sam Elliot?
What the hell is going on? Telfair isn't what you might describe as "good" at basketball, but he's also not horrible. He could be a contributor for a team. Frankly, I can't imagine how a dude gets cut for being arrested with a gun, cooperating fully with police in a completely non-violent incident. Meanwhile Stephen Jackson literally fires his gun in public, and doesn't even get suspended.
Am I reading the article correctly? Does it say Telfair could get a minimum of 3 years in jail? Yikes. With his small muscular build and soft angelic features, he'll be the Belle of the ball, if you know what I mean. It also doesn't bode well for him that he's "beefing" with Fabolous, who may or may not have "peeps" who are "on lock" for being "straight up thugs, son." I'm quoting from my standard issue David Stern's Guide to Understanding Hip Hop Culture (the DSGUHHC).
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
Sebastian Telfair: Through the Fire?
Or just opening fire? Interesting factoid: Sebastian Telfair has had more double-doubles in his career than run ins with the law over gun beefs. That's right, in 3 seasons the documentary film star has had 3 double doubles and 2 gun snafus. When you do the math on that, the Celtics finally realize what the rest of the league has known for a while; Sebastian Telfair sucks, and is not worth the trouble.
And now comes news the Celtics are doing the smart thing; pissing away the millions they spent on him, and "cutting ties." Even if Telfair hadn't gotten arrested, signing him last off season was a stupid gamble aimed at netting Iverson, which would have been a stupid trade. Ainge essentially mortgaged respectability at a chance to get the Answer. He may come out of all this smelling like roses if they land Oden or Durant, but that should be cold comfort to the Celts who remain years away from contending for the playoffs.
I'll admit that even I was wooed by Telfair's upside, but I realized even sooner than the Boston front office that signing Telfair was like bringing a knife to a gun fight.
And now comes news the Celtics are doing the smart thing; pissing away the millions they spent on him, and "cutting ties." Even if Telfair hadn't gotten arrested, signing him last off season was a stupid gamble aimed at netting Iverson, which would have been a stupid trade. Ainge essentially mortgaged respectability at a chance to get the Answer. He may come out of all this smelling like roses if they land Oden or Durant, but that should be cold comfort to the Celts who remain years away from contending for the playoffs.
I'll admit that even I was wooed by Telfair's upside, but I realized even sooner than the Boston front office that signing Telfair was like bringing a knife to a gun fight.
Game 2s
I feel like George W at an Enron investor's party... everything's coming up Houston. For the second time in 3 days, TMac and Yao dominated Utah in the second half, and snatched victory from their conservative, sometimes polygamist, clutches. Actually, Mehmet looked pretty impressive and gave Yao some problems in the first half. But with his shooting stroke gone cold, the lusty Turk couldn't get it done on the offensive end. TMac was pretty cold in the first half, but he sank 'em when they counted and Houston took a commanding 2-0 lead going back to Salt Lake City.
The Pistons blah-ed their way to another vic against the sorely outclassed Magic. There's really not much to say here other than that the Pistons could win this series in 4 with Rip Hamilton literally playing with his eyes closed. Dwight Howard's shortcomings are being exposed like a roll of film.
The Pistons blah-ed their way to another vic against the sorely outclassed Magic. There's really not much to say here other than that the Pistons could win this series in 4 with Rip Hamilton literally playing with his eyes closed. Dwight Howard's shortcomings are being exposed like a roll of film.
Monday, April 23, 2007
Holy Hell!
With Leather has this up, and now I do too. Why? Because it's just the fucking coolest thing I've ever seen.
Watching this makes me want to go to a rave, find the nearest person spinning the idiot-lights on the end of the strings
and punch them out.
God I hate ravers, and I love Japanese kids who make the whole scene look worthless and stupid. This dude obviously watched the Smothers Brothers YoYo Man How to Yo-Yo video. I know, because I watched it too... and instantly became Japanese.
Watching this makes me want to go to a rave, find the nearest person spinning the idiot-lights on the end of the strings
and punch them out.God I hate ravers, and I love Japanese kids who make the whole scene look worthless and stupid. This dude obviously watched the Smothers Brothers YoYo Man How to Yo-Yo video. I know, because I watched it too... and instantly became Japanese.
Game 1 MVP
Call him Baron, call him B-Diddy. Call him what you want, just call him domination.
Baron Davis in Game 1 against the Mavs:
33 points, 14 rebounds, 8 assists, 3 steals, 1 block, 4 three pointers, 55% FG, 88% FT, 3 TOs
If we see a better game than that all playoffs long, I'd be surprised.
Baron Davis in Game 1 against the Mavs:
33 points, 14 rebounds, 8 assists, 3 steals, 1 block, 4 three pointers, 55% FG, 88% FT, 3 TOs
If we see a better game than that all playoffs long, I'd be surprised.
Good to Be a Cavs/Warriors Fan
For Cleveland transplants to the Bay Area, such as myself, there hasn't been a playoff this exciting in a looooooong time. In fact, the Cavs and Warriors haven't won playoff games in the same year since the 1991-92 season. So for 415/216 hybrids like myself, yesterday was a foreign emotion. I couldn't believe my eyes; both the Cavs and Warriors won, and pretty handily at that. Neither team looks like a title contender, but they both look interesting, and they both have a good time in store.
The Warriors barely squeaked into the post season, and being their first time in 12 seasons, they could've gone out 4-0 in thirty point poundings, and you still couldn't wipe the grin off Bay Area faces. We don't care how bad they lose, and neither do they. The result is that they're playing loose, comfortable, scrappy and chaotic. In short; they're playing Nellie Ball. As Dallas fans can attest, it'll never get you to the big show, but it makes for enjoyable and exciting games, lots of three pointers, and just maybe a prayer. With an impressive game 1 steal, the Warriors, once again control their own destiny. All they need to do, however unlikely a feat, is defend Oracle Arena. As long as they can run the board in Oakland, there's a growing possibility we'll get to see Mark Cuban have an aneurysm on national TV.
The Cavs certainly didn't look as punishing and controlling as I may have hoped. And the announcers/pundits/bloggers/assholes have been making them pay. Despite winning by the largest margin of any of the opening games, the Cavs have been roundly panned as the least persuasive winner so far. But I honestly don't mind. Charles Barkley insists the Wizards should be heartened that they can win games, possibly the series. I don't know what game he was watching. The Cavs should still sweep the Wizards, and I don't care if they they win the rest of the games by 1 point each. Getting to the next round in as few games as possible is the priority. The Cavs'll do fine. Pacing themselves in the first round against a sorely over matched opponent is no different from pacing themselves in the regular season. When the Cavs see the Pistons/Bulls/Heat in the conference finals, I want them to be as rested and hard to read as possible. Wish granted.
The Warriors barely squeaked into the post season, and being their first time in 12 seasons, they could've gone out 4-0 in thirty point poundings, and you still couldn't wipe the grin off Bay Area faces. We don't care how bad they lose, and neither do they. The result is that they're playing loose, comfortable, scrappy and chaotic. In short; they're playing Nellie Ball. As Dallas fans can attest, it'll never get you to the big show, but it makes for enjoyable and exciting games, lots of three pointers, and just maybe a prayer. With an impressive game 1 steal, the Warriors, once again control their own destiny. All they need to do, however unlikely a feat, is defend Oracle Arena. As long as they can run the board in Oakland, there's a growing possibility we'll get to see Mark Cuban have an aneurysm on national TV.
The Cavs certainly didn't look as punishing and controlling as I may have hoped. And the announcers/pundits/bloggers/assholes have been making them pay. Despite winning by the largest margin of any of the opening games, the Cavs have been roundly panned as the least persuasive winner so far. But I honestly don't mind. Charles Barkley insists the Wizards should be heartened that they can win games, possibly the series. I don't know what game he was watching. The Cavs should still sweep the Wizards, and I don't care if they they win the rest of the games by 1 point each. Getting to the next round in as few games as possible is the priority. The Cavs'll do fine. Pacing themselves in the first round against a sorely over matched opponent is no different from pacing themselves in the regular season. When the Cavs see the Pistons/Bulls/Heat in the conference finals, I want them to be as rested and hard to read as possible. Wish granted.
Game 1s
I am not on fire so far. I picked home court to hold across the board, and for my troubles I got screwed by the team I picked to win it all, and the team everyone else picked. San Antonio and Dallas both lost, at home, in their game 1 match ups with clearly inferior teams. Could it be that they've both drawn their Achilles' heels in the first round? If San Antone were playing Golden State and Dallas playing Denver would it have gone down differently? Dallas can't seem to answer Golden State's free-for-all, jump shooting death squad. And San Antonio clearly has no idea what to do with Nene, who is re branding himself as the power forward of the future. All I could think when I watched Nene yesterday, was how much I'd like to see him on the Suns. He's like a 6'11" Leandro Barbosa, substituting defensive aggression for jump shooting ability. He romped all over San Antonio yesterday. And as a Golden State fan, a former off-and-on Pacers fan, with a long time closet crush on the Spurs, I can't tell you how weird it is to like Stephen Jackson. But Jacko is backo in a big way. SteJax made Dirk look like less of a MVP and more of a DQP (double quarter pounder... with cheese). Things are getting interesting all over.
Toronto focused all their energy on Vinsanity, which worked, and got pecker-slapped by JKidd and RJeff. I still like Toronto to win this thing, but you have to wonder how good New Jersey would be with Nenad. Next year, with Nenad, Miki Moore developing into a solid backup and Josh Boone and Bostjan Nachbar coming on strong, the Nets could be intriguing again next year. If they dodge the injury bug, lookout; a .500 season could be in the offing. Phoenix handled their business like the pros they are, illustrating why Kobe is a punk who will never elevate the Lakers without a Shaq-type backing him up. Detroit looked chiseled against Orlando, but I would have liked to see a nastier, more self assured victory. Ditto for the Cavs. Game 2s should be hot. Cap'n, out.
Toronto focused all their energy on Vinsanity, which worked, and got pecker-slapped by JKidd and RJeff. I still like Toronto to win this thing, but you have to wonder how good New Jersey would be with Nenad. Next year, with Nenad, Miki Moore developing into a solid backup and Josh Boone and Bostjan Nachbar coming on strong, the Nets could be intriguing again next year. If they dodge the injury bug, lookout; a .500 season could be in the offing. Phoenix handled their business like the pros they are, illustrating why Kobe is a punk who will never elevate the Lakers without a Shaq-type backing him up. Detroit looked chiseled against Orlando, but I would have liked to see a nastier, more self assured victory. Ditto for the Cavs. Game 2s should be hot. Cap'n, out.
Friday, April 20, 2007
New Features at the Swag
The regular season is over, so I removed the scoreboard. It may make a resurgence as we start to blog about Football and (ugh...) Baseball. But for now let's make room for our new Tag Board, brought to you by CBox. It's pretty tight; kind of like an even quicker more visible, less relevant and completely unnecessary version of the comments section (which, by the way, is still there). AND I might add we haven't seen nearly as much commenting as we'd like to, so why don't we all make an effort? So in review: comment ya jerks, but in lieu of that, at least drop some soul on our tag board.
Cavs New Point Guard?
LUKE RIDNOUR
2006-07: He was supposed to have a breakout season, especially after a contract extension. After a series of inconsistencies and bouts with insecurity, however, Ridnour did not give the organization any security about his future as a starting point guard. He averaged fewer points, assists and steals than last season and his numbers declined badly after the All-Star break, resulting in a disappointing season for the one-time cornerstone. Ridnour is unhappy with his role and it seems like something has to change.
Staying or leaving? The club will try to trade him and the remaining three years on his deal and acquire a frontline point guard with size and experience. Seattle Post-Intelligencer
This is intriguing as hell to me. I like Ridnour. He's young, energetic and he's a true point guard. Exactly what we need. Maybe a Damon Jones for Ridnour deal could be in our future?
Thursday, April 19, 2007
Oden Going Pro
Freshman sensation Greg Oden will leave Ohio State after one season to enter the NBA draft, The Dispatch has learned. Oden, who is in Indianapolis for an aunt’s wedding, is expected to make an announcement Friday. He is widely anticipated to be the first pick in pro basketball’s amateur draft on June 28. Columbus Dispatch
Yeah, no shit.
Yeah, no shit.
PLAYOFFS: Round 1... Buckle Up!
God damn I'm psyched. After a relatively lackluster regular season, the true season begins this Saturday. A 2 month spectacle of the best in the world doing what they do. And I'm so pumped for the playoffs I'm absolutely about to lose it. Let's take a peek at the match ups:
1-8s
Dallas Mavericks vs. Golden State Warriors
A lot of people are talking a lot of yang about Golden State's chances. Yeah, Nellie built the Mavs, nobody knows 'em better, and yes the Warriors have beaten the Mavs up and down over the last 2 seasons. But let's not get too crazy. This is playoff time in Dallas. I'd be pretty shocked if Dallas doesn't dispense with the pleasantries and smash the Warriors in 4, maybe 5, games. That said, the Warriors can win games when they're shooting well. There's just no way to stop a 5 man line where literally all 5 guys on the court can shoot 3s... if they're on. Golden State needs to catch fire and show some defensive toughness, which is far easier said than done. I just don't see how Golden State expects to defend Dirk. Their best defender is probably JRich, maybe SteJax, and neither one of them is truly big enough to stop the German Destruction Machine. SteJax's deep playoff (and championship) experience will come clutch, 'cause other than a couple years for Baron and maybe 1 or 2 seasons for Harrington, nobody else on this team has ever played any type of postseason basketball.
Progs: Dallas takes it 4-1. Golden State's MVPs will be Richardson and Jackson. Dallas will get Dallas performances out of Dirk, Josh, Jason and Jerry, and put this to bed with relative ease. Still, major kudos to the Warriors for hanging in.
Detroit Pistons vs. Orlando Magic
Murder. That's really the only word to describe what Detroit is going to do to Orlando. I would be very surprised if Orlando steals a game in this series. Here's why: Detroit is so superior to Orlando in every facet of the game, it's just not even amusing. For Orlando to win a game, they'll need Dwight Howard to play absolutely out of his mind, and not turn over the ball on every other play. Then they'll need Jam Nelson to wake up from his year long slumber. They'll need Arroyo and the rest of the bench to kick it up a notch, Grant Hill and Hedo to successfully coexist, and maybe most importantly; they'll need Darko to play like a man possessed. They need Darko to roll up all his anger and aggression toward Detroit, scrunch it up into a wee ball in his belly, and unleash it like a kamehameha all over the Palace. Another key for Orlando will be Trevor Ariza, who has been brilliant in limited action. I'd like to see him come out of his shell in the playoffs. As far as Detroit is concerned, they better win this quick, 'cause they'll see the winner of Chicago-Miami and then (most likely) Cleveland after, and they'll need to be as fresh as possible.
Progs: Detroit takes it 4-0. Expect Chauncey, Rip, Tay-tay and Sheed to show these young'ns what playoff basketball looks like. Expect Chris Webber to fade into irrelevance.
2-7s
Phoenix Suns vs. Los Angeles Lakers
I'm expecting a way less exciting re-match of the 7 game thriller from last year. Think about it, the Lakers are just as underwhelming, and the Suns are the same dominant team they were last year... plus Amare. And make no mistake; Amare will romp in the post season. Who's gonna stop him? Lamar Odom? Ronny Turiaf? Don't even dream of saying Andrew Bynum. It's true, Kwame should be back for the playoffs, and that'll help, but I'm still looking at the Suns to end this pretty fast. Kobe's uberclutchiosity should be worth a game or two, but not enough to make it interesting like last year. With Marion locking down Odom, and Bell doing as good a job on Kobe as can be done, Luke Walton's gonna need something supernatural for the Lakes to have a shot. And Raja Bell's defense is (if possible) even better this time around. I do hate being proven wrong by Kobe though, so I'm gonna extend him more respect than he deserves, to cover my bases.
Progs: Phoenix takes it 4-2, but the 4 wins will be blowouts, and the 2 losses will be overtime squeaks on Kobe heroics.
Cleveland Cavaliers vs. Washington Wizards
There has never been a better time to be a Cavs fan. New Jersey's win over the Bulls on Tuesday has written the Cavs an engraved invitation to the Eastern Conference Finals. All they need to do is crush a Washington team that is a wispy shadow of itself, and then beat the winner of Jersey-Toronto (which should be a cake walk), to earn a date with the tuckered out winner of the Chicago-Miami-Detroit melee. Honestly, there's no reason on earth why the Cavs can't make it to the Finals in less than 15 games. This is it Cleveland fans. For you Wizznutz out there, I wish you guys could be full strength so we could see a rematch of last year's overtime laden battle royale. It's unfortunate, but we'll take 'em like we can get 'em. Wizards have no hope.
Progs: Cavs take it 4-0. Antawn Jamison will come as close as anyone ever to winning the MVP of the finals while going out in the first round. He's gonna play so ferociously they'll tell stories of it for years. I'm talking 45 pts, 15 rebs, 5 assists, 4 threes, 4 steals and a block per night... in an ultimately losing effort.
3-6s
San Antonio Spurs vs. Denver Nuggets
I like this series as one of the best of the first round, but I'm still looking for San Antonio to win pretty decisively. Denver's been one of the best teams in the league in April. 'Melo and AI are meshing well, Camby and Nene are beasting on the block, Steve Blake is playing smart ball and Linas Kleiza is turning into a lights-out bench-weapon supreme. But I've been saying since day one that the Spurs have to be considered the favorite. If it weren't for Manu's last second foul-flub last year in game 7 against Dallas, I think the Spurs would have handily beaten Miami. I think this year justice will be served with a side of Southwestern dipping sauce. If Tony Parker and Manu do what they do and Tim Duncan doesn't get hit by an asteroid, the Spurs oughta lock it up.
Progs: Spurs take it 4-2. But with Nene's tough as nails athleticism and Camby's stout D, don't be surprised if Duncan looks tamer than usual.
Toronto Raptors vs. New Jersey Nets
This'll be another excellent series. Toronto looks like a team possessed, but I can't see them having a very easy time against Kidd, Carter and Jefferson, not to mention Nachbar doing his best impression of Kleiza. This could be a 7 game grind fest. The Nets are gonna find out that they miss Krstic even more than they thought, but Josh Boone and Miki Moore have been playing their asses off. They're gonna need to play the defensive series of their lives to bottle up Boshy. It'll pretty much all come down to Bosh. If he plays like he has all season, than I'd expect he'll also ramp it up for the playoffs. Of all those superstars from the '03 draft, 'Melo is the only one who hasn't shined in the post season. 'Bron, Wade, Hinrich and Howard have all been beasts in the playoffs, and I think Bosh's first trip will be a real test to see if he can truly hang with the elite from that class. I think he'll pass it... big time.
Progs: Toronto takes it 4-3. I'm looking for Kidd to be Kidd and Bosh to be Bosh. If Carter plays as well as he did last year in the playoffs, things could get even more interesting...
4-5s
Utah Jazz vs. Houston Rockets
Both of the 4-5 match ups in the playoffs feature 4 seeds without home court advantage. And I think it's gonna prove to be the difference. Houston looks as good as any team in the league, to me. With Yao and T-Mac healthy? Who can stop them? They might be my dark horse favorite to shock the world this year. This first round match will be a key litmus test. Utah is an excellent team, but they're slowing down. Houston's on fire, and that momentum should carry them through. What I love most about them is their defensive toughness. Forget about Yao and TMac on offense, how about Yao, Battier and Alston on D. If those three can neutralize Mehmet, Boozy and Deron Williams, Utah's gonna need miracles from AK. The key will be whether or not Mehmet can put up a fight against Yao. That said, he should also give Yao fits on the opposite end, peeling out to the Perimeter to jack up 3s. This one is gonna be a great series. If Houston wins decisively (4 or 5 games) I could see them going all the way. If they go 7 with Utah they'll be cooked for the second round when they have to play Dallas.
Progs: Houston takes it 4-2. Yao's gonna average 30 pts, 15 rebs, 3 blocks and the sexiest %s you've ever seen. Just see if he doesn't. In the end, I think Houston's gonna defend their home floor and ruin Sloan's year.
Miami Heat vs. Chicago Bulls
Miami is in trouble. They're as dangerous as anyone in the playoffs, but if Wade isn't back to 100% they're effed. In my opinion, right now, the Bulls are the best team in the East. They're gonna miss out on the Finals, because after beating Miami and Detroit, they'll be too spent to go 7 with Cleveland. But man are they good. Watching the Bulls play basketball right now is a pleasure. I even like them more than watching the Suns. They're not nearly as fast, but they're so fundamentally sound, they play exceptional defense, and every one of the first 8 or 9 guys in their rotation are brilliant decision makers. Even Tyrus Thomas is showing a knack for being in the right place at the right time. They rotate well, they're just smart basketball players... I can't say enough about them. But as per always you can't discount Wade and Shaqalacka together. There's truly no answer for those 2 guys when they're at 100%. Home court may decide this, and the Bulls have been lethal at home (31-10) this year. I like the Bulls too much, and I'm just not convinced Wade will be able to explode like he should.
Progs: Chicago takes it 4-2. If Wade is truly 100%, give the Heat an extra win, but the Bulls still prevail.
So that's it for the first round. Saturday has 4 games on TV, so buckle up chumps. The real season is about to start...
1-8s
Dallas Mavericks vs. Golden State Warriors
A lot of people are talking a lot of yang about Golden State's chances. Yeah, Nellie built the Mavs, nobody knows 'em better, and yes the Warriors have beaten the Mavs up and down over the last 2 seasons. But let's not get too crazy. This is playoff time in Dallas. I'd be pretty shocked if Dallas doesn't dispense with the pleasantries and smash the Warriors in 4, maybe 5, games. That said, the Warriors can win games when they're shooting well. There's just no way to stop a 5 man line where literally all 5 guys on the court can shoot 3s... if they're on. Golden State needs to catch fire and show some defensive toughness, which is far easier said than done. I just don't see how Golden State expects to defend Dirk. Their best defender is probably JRich, maybe SteJax, and neither one of them is truly big enough to stop the German Destruction Machine. SteJax's deep playoff (and championship) experience will come clutch, 'cause other than a couple years for Baron and maybe 1 or 2 seasons for Harrington, nobody else on this team has ever played any type of postseason basketball.
Progs: Dallas takes it 4-1. Golden State's MVPs will be Richardson and Jackson. Dallas will get Dallas performances out of Dirk, Josh, Jason and Jerry, and put this to bed with relative ease. Still, major kudos to the Warriors for hanging in.
Detroit Pistons vs. Orlando Magic
Murder. That's really the only word to describe what Detroit is going to do to Orlando. I would be very surprised if Orlando steals a game in this series. Here's why: Detroit is so superior to Orlando in every facet of the game, it's just not even amusing. For Orlando to win a game, they'll need Dwight Howard to play absolutely out of his mind, and not turn over the ball on every other play. Then they'll need Jam Nelson to wake up from his year long slumber. They'll need Arroyo and the rest of the bench to kick it up a notch, Grant Hill and Hedo to successfully coexist, and maybe most importantly; they'll need Darko to play like a man possessed. They need Darko to roll up all his anger and aggression toward Detroit, scrunch it up into a wee ball in his belly, and unleash it like a kamehameha all over the Palace. Another key for Orlando will be Trevor Ariza, who has been brilliant in limited action. I'd like to see him come out of his shell in the playoffs. As far as Detroit is concerned, they better win this quick, 'cause they'll see the winner of Chicago-Miami and then (most likely) Cleveland after, and they'll need to be as fresh as possible.
Progs: Detroit takes it 4-0. Expect Chauncey, Rip, Tay-tay and Sheed to show these young'ns what playoff basketball looks like. Expect Chris Webber to fade into irrelevance.
2-7s
Phoenix Suns vs. Los Angeles Lakers
I'm expecting a way less exciting re-match of the 7 game thriller from last year. Think about it, the Lakers are just as underwhelming, and the Suns are the same dominant team they were last year... plus Amare. And make no mistake; Amare will romp in the post season. Who's gonna stop him? Lamar Odom? Ronny Turiaf? Don't even dream of saying Andrew Bynum. It's true, Kwame should be back for the playoffs, and that'll help, but I'm still looking at the Suns to end this pretty fast. Kobe's uberclutchiosity should be worth a game or two, but not enough to make it interesting like last year. With Marion locking down Odom, and Bell doing as good a job on Kobe as can be done, Luke Walton's gonna need something supernatural for the Lakes to have a shot. And Raja Bell's defense is (if possible) even better this time around. I do hate being proven wrong by Kobe though, so I'm gonna extend him more respect than he deserves, to cover my bases.
Progs: Phoenix takes it 4-2, but the 4 wins will be blowouts, and the 2 losses will be overtime squeaks on Kobe heroics.
Cleveland Cavaliers vs. Washington Wizards
There has never been a better time to be a Cavs fan. New Jersey's win over the Bulls on Tuesday has written the Cavs an engraved invitation to the Eastern Conference Finals. All they need to do is crush a Washington team that is a wispy shadow of itself, and then beat the winner of Jersey-Toronto (which should be a cake walk), to earn a date with the tuckered out winner of the Chicago-Miami-Detroit melee. Honestly, there's no reason on earth why the Cavs can't make it to the Finals in less than 15 games. This is it Cleveland fans. For you Wizznutz out there, I wish you guys could be full strength so we could see a rematch of last year's overtime laden battle royale. It's unfortunate, but we'll take 'em like we can get 'em. Wizards have no hope.
Progs: Cavs take it 4-0. Antawn Jamison will come as close as anyone ever to winning the MVP of the finals while going out in the first round. He's gonna play so ferociously they'll tell stories of it for years. I'm talking 45 pts, 15 rebs, 5 assists, 4 threes, 4 steals and a block per night... in an ultimately losing effort.
3-6s
San Antonio Spurs vs. Denver Nuggets
I like this series as one of the best of the first round, but I'm still looking for San Antonio to win pretty decisively. Denver's been one of the best teams in the league in April. 'Melo and AI are meshing well, Camby and Nene are beasting on the block, Steve Blake is playing smart ball and Linas Kleiza is turning into a lights-out bench-weapon supreme. But I've been saying since day one that the Spurs have to be considered the favorite. If it weren't for Manu's last second foul-flub last year in game 7 against Dallas, I think the Spurs would have handily beaten Miami. I think this year justice will be served with a side of Southwestern dipping sauce. If Tony Parker and Manu do what they do and Tim Duncan doesn't get hit by an asteroid, the Spurs oughta lock it up.
Progs: Spurs take it 4-2. But with Nene's tough as nails athleticism and Camby's stout D, don't be surprised if Duncan looks tamer than usual.
Toronto Raptors vs. New Jersey Nets
This'll be another excellent series. Toronto looks like a team possessed, but I can't see them having a very easy time against Kidd, Carter and Jefferson, not to mention Nachbar doing his best impression of Kleiza. This could be a 7 game grind fest. The Nets are gonna find out that they miss Krstic even more than they thought, but Josh Boone and Miki Moore have been playing their asses off. They're gonna need to play the defensive series of their lives to bottle up Boshy. It'll pretty much all come down to Bosh. If he plays like he has all season, than I'd expect he'll also ramp it up for the playoffs. Of all those superstars from the '03 draft, 'Melo is the only one who hasn't shined in the post season. 'Bron, Wade, Hinrich and Howard have all been beasts in the playoffs, and I think Bosh's first trip will be a real test to see if he can truly hang with the elite from that class. I think he'll pass it... big time.
Progs: Toronto takes it 4-3. I'm looking for Kidd to be Kidd and Bosh to be Bosh. If Carter plays as well as he did last year in the playoffs, things could get even more interesting...
4-5s
Utah Jazz vs. Houston Rockets
Both of the 4-5 match ups in the playoffs feature 4 seeds without home court advantage. And I think it's gonna prove to be the difference. Houston looks as good as any team in the league, to me. With Yao and T-Mac healthy? Who can stop them? They might be my dark horse favorite to shock the world this year. This first round match will be a key litmus test. Utah is an excellent team, but they're slowing down. Houston's on fire, and that momentum should carry them through. What I love most about them is their defensive toughness. Forget about Yao and TMac on offense, how about Yao, Battier and Alston on D. If those three can neutralize Mehmet, Boozy and Deron Williams, Utah's gonna need miracles from AK. The key will be whether or not Mehmet can put up a fight against Yao. That said, he should also give Yao fits on the opposite end, peeling out to the Perimeter to jack up 3s. This one is gonna be a great series. If Houston wins decisively (4 or 5 games) I could see them going all the way. If they go 7 with Utah they'll be cooked for the second round when they have to play Dallas.
Progs: Houston takes it 4-2. Yao's gonna average 30 pts, 15 rebs, 3 blocks and the sexiest %s you've ever seen. Just see if he doesn't. In the end, I think Houston's gonna defend their home floor and ruin Sloan's year.
Miami Heat vs. Chicago Bulls
Miami is in trouble. They're as dangerous as anyone in the playoffs, but if Wade isn't back to 100% they're effed. In my opinion, right now, the Bulls are the best team in the East. They're gonna miss out on the Finals, because after beating Miami and Detroit, they'll be too spent to go 7 with Cleveland. But man are they good. Watching the Bulls play basketball right now is a pleasure. I even like them more than watching the Suns. They're not nearly as fast, but they're so fundamentally sound, they play exceptional defense, and every one of the first 8 or 9 guys in their rotation are brilliant decision makers. Even Tyrus Thomas is showing a knack for being in the right place at the right time. They rotate well, they're just smart basketball players... I can't say enough about them. But as per always you can't discount Wade and Shaqalacka together. There's truly no answer for those 2 guys when they're at 100%. Home court may decide this, and the Bulls have been lethal at home (31-10) this year. I like the Bulls too much, and I'm just not convinced Wade will be able to explode like he should.
Progs: Chicago takes it 4-2. If Wade is truly 100%, give the Heat an extra win, but the Bulls still prevail.
So that's it for the first round. Saturday has 4 games on TV, so buckle up chumps. The real season is about to start...
Delicious Cavs News...
In a brief 10-minute session with the media, Gilbert also touched on several other subjects:
o The owner said he would not have a problem paying the luxury tax in order to keep restricted free agents Anderson Varejao and Sasha Pavlovic, who figure to command major dollars in the offseason. Medina Gazette
That's what I want to hear. We need to keep Pavlo and the Brazilian Dandy. Without their tenacious bench play, the Cavs are lost. And Pavlo's blossomed into a legit starter for us. I'm psyched Gilly's gonna throw down the loot to keep us competitive.
o The owner said he would not have a problem paying the luxury tax in order to keep restricted free agents Anderson Varejao and Sasha Pavlovic, who figure to command major dollars in the offseason. Medina Gazette
That's what I want to hear. We need to keep Pavlo and the Brazilian Dandy. Without their tenacious bench play, the Cavs are lost. And Pavlo's blossomed into a legit starter for us. I'm psyched Gilly's gonna throw down the loot to keep us competitive.
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
Year End Awards: Short Form
I'll do a more exhaustive version of this at the end of the playoffs, but for now let's see who's who in the NBA. Adrian Wojnarowski put this into a nice format today, so I'll do mine the same way.
Most Valuable Player
Steve Nash
Woj makes an interesting point when assessing Nash's career best season by saying Amare's return buoyed Steve's numbers. Well, I agree Amare's return made the Suns better. But Nash is shooting a career best FG% and 3PT% and I'm not sure how much that really has to do with Stoudy. Sure you can argue that Amare's tenacious play in the paint has freed up Nash to trigger 3s at will, but I think Nash's offensive output has more to do with the fact that while he's been long recognized as the best dimesman in the league, in reality he should also be recognized as the flat out best pure shooter in the game. As far as form and function go, Kevin Martin is the only guy in the league who sports a competitively frightening shooting ability. On top of the fact that Nash has put in a career best 11.6 assists and has noticeably improved his defense, I'm loathe to award him the honor for the last 2 years and not this, his best, year.
As for Dirk, he's obviously one of the beastliest dudes in the league, and is the best player on the best team. But saying that Amare's return takes from Nash's accomplishment, and not saying that Josh Howard's emergence does the same for Dirk is unfair. I would argue that Howard becoming a legit superstar and offensive threat has made life far easier for Nowitzki. It's definitely neck and neck, but I'm leaning toward Nash... again.
The rest of the guys in the discussion: LeBron is getting unfairly cut out. His "sub par" first half was still pretty stellar. His team has about as good a chance as any to win the East, and his post All Star Break performance has been arguably the best in the league. For his name to not even be discussed is criminal. Same goes for Tim Duncan. In fact, I think John Hollinger made an exceptional case for Tim Duncan as MVP... but not quite. Bringing up the rear would be Dwayne Wade. His team has been unimpressive, and he missed 2 months, but nobody's more valuable to their team than Dweeani (that's a phonetic spelling of how one would pronounce his name, not knowing that's it's the same as Dwayne).
An honorable mention goes out to Chris Bosh who had a stellar year and is clearly as important to his team as anybody. A dishonorable mention goes to
The Ballot: Steve Nash, Dirk Nowitzki, Tim Duncan, LeBron James, Dwyane Wade
Honorable Mention: Chris Bosh
Dishonorable Mention: Kobe Bryant
Rookie of the Year
Brandon Roy
This may be the least interesting R.O.Y. race in history.
Tyrus Thomas, LaMarcus Aldridge, Jorge Garbajosa, Rudy Gay and Rajon Rondo have extremely intriguing futures. By the time the All Star break rolled around, it had become exceedingly clear that neither the Grizzlies nor the Celtics had anything to play for except Oden and Durant. So they both started giving their rookies chances to shine. And shine they did. Gay's turning into a frightening multi position offensive/defensive beast. I wouldn't be shocked to see him put up Shawn Marionesque numbers within the next few years. Same goes for the tenacious and scrappy Rajon Rondo, substituting JKidd's name for
Honorable mentions go to Craig Smith and Paul Millsap, who show mad heart and hustle, which you gotta love. Dishonorable mention goes to the guy I picked as a lock to be a huge disappointment: Adam Morrison. What can I say about Morrison that I haven't already screamed about college basketball? He sucks, it sucks, end of story.
The Ballot: Brandon Roy, Andrea Bargnani, Rudy Gay, Rajon Rondo, Tyrus Thomas.
Honorable Mentions: Lamarcus Aldridge, Jorge Garbajosa, Craig Smith, Paul Millsap, Randy Foye, Tarrence Kinsey
Dishonorable Mention: Adam Morrison
Defensive Player of the Year
Tim Duncan
Dude, are you kidding me? Without Timmy's rock solid D, the Spurs would be nowhere. He can do it all, and when everybody's been warning of decline, he just keeps up the same old same old. The Spurs are still my favorite to win it all, and he's the reason why. Nobody more terrifying in the playoffs, plus, the icing on the cake of any case for Duncan as D.P.Y. is the fact that he has the hardest to defend position on the planet; PF/C in the West. He could probably convince me he deserves this award if he was covering 3rd string point guards, but he's not. On a nightly basis he's covering Kevin Garnett, Elton Brand, Dirk, Yao, Pau, Boozer/Okur, Amare, Nene, Randolph and that's not even bringing the East into the discussion, which adds Bosh, Shaq, Jefferson, Howard, Sheed, Jamison and Jermaine O'Neal. Bottom line, he does it against the best, and nobody does it better. This is a tough category to quantify, so I won't even bother ranking the rest, I'll just list the defensive stalwarts who deserve recognition.
The Ballot: Tim Duncan, Shawn Marion, Bruce Bowen, Shane Battier, Marcus Camby
Honorable Mentions: Ben Wallace, Raja Bell, Kevin Garnett, Tayshaun Prince, Emeka Okafor, Josh Howard, Gerald Wallace, Josh Smith
Dishonorable Mentions: Eddy Curry, Zach Randolph, Chris Webber
Most Improved Player
Al Jefferson
I know the popular choice here is Kevin Martin. And I'm not even suggesting that Martin isn't the better player. I like Martin a lot. In fact he's pretty much the best shooter in the league next to Steve Nash. But the thing is; I knew that last year. The only reason KMart didn't do the exact same thing last year, is that the offense was still running through Mike Bibby and Ron Artest primarily. Then the next two guys were Brad Miller and Bonzi Wells. Look at Martin's numbers from last year. They were almost exactly where they are this year in %s, and they reflected that he played about 10 minutes less per game. Which he did. I'm not saying Martin isn't awesome, he's just a guy who didn't get as many minutes, and when he did, his numbers inflated in a perfectly proportional way.
Biedrins has to be in the discussion, he's clearly got a huge future in this league. He might become one of the elite big men... but I doubt it. He's weak, and I don't buy his "tough face." I'd also nominate Sasha Pavlovic, who looks like a newer, sleeker, meaner version of himself. He's cutting to the hoop like a maniac, and almost providing LeBron the true running mate Larry Hughes was supposed to be.
Wojnorowski put Tyson Chandler on the ballot, which I can't agree with, 'cause I knew he could rebound and block shots like a beast. And he changed to a team with no other legit centers, so he got ample more space to showcase his beastliness. If you put him in, you have to put Josh Smith, but we all knew he could do what he's done too. I like this category for the guys you couldn't predict. Honorable mentions go to the 3 headed 6th man on the Golden State Warriors. Barnes and Azibuike were waiver fodder, and Pietrus in a rut, but Nelson let them break loose. Whichever one is in the game can take over. Also Eddy Curry, who is massively better, but still makes me want to vomit with his 900 TOs per game, lack of steals or blocks (or defense of any kind) and pitiful FT%. And to think, it may end up that the Knicks traded Durant/Oden for him.
Dishonorable mention to Larry Hughes who I wish I could say was a candidate here, but he continues to disappoint. Chump.
The Ballot: Al Jefferson, Monta Ellis, Kevin Martin, Andris Biedrins, Sasha Pavlovic
Honorable Mention: Eddy Curry, Mickael Pietrus, Matt Barnes, Kelenna Azabuike
Dishonorable Mention: Larry Hughes
6th Man of the Year
Leandro Barbosa
This one is a no brainer. Manu is not really a 6th man, and the difference between Barbosa and the next best candidate, Stackhouse, is not even close. This would only be a competitive category if Ben Gordon was still coming off the bench like he did in the first half of the season. Barbosa puts up (stellar) starter numbers in bench minutes. He's a blur, he can shoot from anywhere, and he's pretty much the heir to the throne in
The Ballot: Leandro Barbosa, Manu Ginobli, Jerry Stackhouse, Andres Nocioni, Sasha Pavlovic
Honorable Mention: Monta Ellis/Andris Biedrins/Mickael Pietrus/Matt Barnes/Kelenna Azibuike (whoever doesn't start and comes off the bench 1st).
Dishonorable Mention: LeBron James (that dude starts too damn well, he's the worst 6th man ever)
A Picture Says a Thousand- Oh God My Eyes!
"Why yes Ms. Coulter, I think your vision for a more conservative United States is... is... what's the word I'm looking for? Oh yes. DY-NO-MITE!!" As mayor of TV Land, I declare this to be the greatest birthday party for Jimmy Walker ever!
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"Oh Brad, it's just you, I thought someone was robbing the bank..."
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"Officer, how many times do I have to tell you, I'm not drunk... I'm just very, very high on the marijuana..."
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Sweet! Looks like Suns have finally found a way to stop Tim Duncan in the paint.
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"Okay Jared. You grab Carmelo by the neck, then I reach around you here, like so. Then I give your nips a bit of a tweak. Nate, why don't you take off your shirt. See isn't that more comfortable? Can I get anyone a Fresca? A 'lude? Anything?" Just another one of Eduardo Najera's sexy parties...
Wednesday Chumpliness
The Grizzlies are expected to talk to former Denver Nuggets general manager Kiki Vandeweghe, among other candidates, about taking over the front office. Memphis Commercial Appeal
I have two words for Memphis fans who think Vandeweghe will return them to grace: Kenyon Martin.
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Regardless of whether he retains his job as coach of the Sonics or if owner Clay Bennett decides to replace him, Bob Hill's life will go on.
"I'm not going to die," he said after Tuesday's practice. "I've got a wonderful family that loves me to death. I just had my first grandson yesterday. I've got a beautiful home in Texas. So I'm not going to die. If I'm not back, I'll feel bad because it's the first time I haven't been able to have success." Seattle Times
I guess he's not counting his 36-78 record as coach at Fordham, or his three straight 1st round exits as coach of the Pacers.
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"Yeah, we're going to play hard [against the Hornets] and hope for the best, but we're just going to have to shoot for next year. Can we still get into the playoffs? Yeah, we can. Realistically, will we? No." Los Angeles Times
That's Maggette illustrating perfectly what it's like to be a Clippers fan: painful, pathetic, un-ambitious, and scared of the Golden State Warriors.
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Bryant said he hasn't given any thought to his MVP chances. Orange County Register
Fortunately I have. He has none. Kobe is a great player who deserves an MVP award about as much as I do. To even discuss his name in the same sentence as Dirk, Nash, Bronny or DWade is a joke. In fact, as far as the numbers go on paper, and the teams records, I'm not sure how you'd justify Kobe over 'Melo.
"Winning MVP would be nice, but it would mean much, much more if we had one of the top records in the league," Bryant said. "To win it now would be kind of like an empty award to me." Orange County Register
To us all, my friend. To us all.
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Dolan also revealed that Thomas' sexual harassment trial is scheduled for September. New York Post
Wow I had almost forgotten about that particular noose around Zeke's neck. Make that reason 7,943 on the top 25,000 reasons why Isiah Thomas should be fired. Something else just occurred to me: could the Knicks be tanking to go after a high draft pick? I know what you're saying, "But Cap'n, the Bulls get the Knicks 1st round pick this year." Sure, I know that. And you know that. But are you really that confident that Isiah knows it? I'm honestly only like half kidding. I wouldn't be at all surprised to find out Isiah doesn't even realize he's given up maybe the most valuable draft pick since Bronny for Eddy Curry.
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Clyde "The Glide" Drexler may have been voted one of the 50 Greatest Players in NBA History, but he was voted off the stage Tuesday as "Dancing With the Stars" fans eliminated Drexler and partner Elena Grinenko. And after Heather Mills' fall in Monday's competition, she fell to the bottom two in voting. Metromix.com
I guess now he'll only have a career of legendary basketballing, a city full of fans who'd die for him, millions of dollars and his debonair charm and good looks to keep him warm. Poor guy...
I have two words for Memphis fans who think Vandeweghe will return them to grace: Kenyon Martin.
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Regardless of whether he retains his job as coach of the Sonics or if owner Clay Bennett decides to replace him, Bob Hill's life will go on.
"I'm not going to die," he said after Tuesday's practice. "I've got a wonderful family that loves me to death. I just had my first grandson yesterday. I've got a beautiful home in Texas. So I'm not going to die. If I'm not back, I'll feel bad because it's the first time I haven't been able to have success." Seattle Times
I guess he's not counting his 36-78 record as coach at Fordham, or his three straight 1st round exits as coach of the Pacers.
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"Yeah, we're going to play hard [against the Hornets] and hope for the best, but we're just going to have to shoot for next year. Can we still get into the playoffs? Yeah, we can. Realistically, will we? No." Los Angeles Times
That's Maggette illustrating perfectly what it's like to be a Clippers fan: painful, pathetic, un-ambitious, and scared of the Golden State Warriors.
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Bryant said he hasn't given any thought to his MVP chances. Orange County Register
Fortunately I have. He has none. Kobe is a great player who deserves an MVP award about as much as I do. To even discuss his name in the same sentence as Dirk, Nash, Bronny or DWade is a joke. In fact, as far as the numbers go on paper, and the teams records, I'm not sure how you'd justify Kobe over 'Melo.
"Winning MVP would be nice, but it would mean much, much more if we had one of the top records in the league," Bryant said. "To win it now would be kind of like an empty award to me." Orange County Register
To us all, my friend. To us all.
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Dolan also revealed that Thomas' sexual harassment trial is scheduled for September. New York Post
Wow I had almost forgotten about that particular noose around Zeke's neck. Make that reason 7,943 on the top 25,000 reasons why Isiah Thomas should be fired. Something else just occurred to me: could the Knicks be tanking to go after a high draft pick? I know what you're saying, "But Cap'n, the Bulls get the Knicks 1st round pick this year." Sure, I know that. And you know that. But are you really that confident that Isiah knows it? I'm honestly only like half kidding. I wouldn't be at all surprised to find out Isiah doesn't even realize he's given up maybe the most valuable draft pick since Bronny for Eddy Curry.
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Clyde "The Glide" Drexler may have been voted one of the 50 Greatest Players in NBA History, but he was voted off the stage Tuesday as "Dancing With the Stars" fans eliminated Drexler and partner Elena Grinenko. And after Heather Mills' fall in Monday's competition, she fell to the bottom two in voting. Metromix.com
I guess now he'll only have a career of legendary basketballing, a city full of fans who'd die for him, millions of dollars and his debonair charm and good looks to keep him warm. Poor guy...
James Dolan's Pooch Screwing Clinic: Open For Business
So you're a gazillionaire owner of one of the biggest market pro basketball franchises on the planet. Maybe the biggest. Who cares if your team has the worst roster of overpaid, underachieving layabouts. Or that your insane coach/president is literally throwing stacks of hundred dollar bills into an incinerator on guys like Steve Francis, Malik Rose, Jerome James and Jared Jeffries. Or that with two first round picks in last year's draft, he went after two 2nd rounders. What does it matter that instead of Renaldo Balkman and Mardy Collins, you could have had Balkman and Marcus Williams, Rajon Rondo or Dan Gibson? Who cares if your coach mortgaged your future on Eddy Curry, and now you don't have a first round pick in one of the deepest drafts in years...
Wait a second. That should all really piss you off. Sure the Knicks are still making gobs of money, but just imagine how much more they'd make if they could make the playoffs, or even be a contender. So with the team performing better than it had in years, with Curry, Marbury and the rest of these salary thieves not embarrassing themselves on the nightly, you take the carrot they've been chasing and stick it in their mouths. It can't be denied; announcing Zeke's extension with plenty of time left to go in the season sent the Knicks on a pathetic slide.
In fact, for all the bravado about an improved team, they're barely better than the humiliation factory they ran last season. Plus, as Adrian Wojnarowski recently pointed out, the extension really means nothing. If they play bad enough, Isiah will get fired whether he has 1 year to go on his contract, or a thousand. Even Isiah knows this. But it seemed like the threat of unemployment had lit a fire under the Knickersuckers to play for the job of the coach they love so. So why take away their only motivation?
They clearly love Isiah, and why not? For all the rampant failure and underachieving that goes on in New York, the maddest I've ever seen any Knicks (including Isiah) get about anything, is when they think another team is running up the score on them. Thomas doesn't hold them to account for their failures, so they don't hold themselves either. Now there's talk of bringing in Rashard Lewis. I hope for his sake he makes the right decision and passes. What the hell do they even really need to go after 'Shard for? The problem isn't a lack of talented players (at literally every position). The problem is the atmosphere of mediocrity.
Just listen to Dolan when asked about the possibility of bringing in Jerry West, one of the most brilliant and unstoppable men in NBA history, both on the court and in the front office:
"I wouldn't say to Isiah, 'Hey, Isiah, Jerry's coming in and you've got to take it,'" Dolan said. "No, I would never do that." (Ken Berger, NewsDay)
Good call, why put the needs of the team, city and fans ahead of your borderline creepy relationship with Isiah Thomas, the man who ruined the Raptors, ruined the Pacers and now has ruined the Knicks. Why do that, when you can run a clinic on how to kill a franchise. That, my friends, is what we call "screwing the pooch."
Wait a second. That should all really piss you off. Sure the Knicks are still making gobs of money, but just imagine how much more they'd make if they could make the playoffs, or even be a contender. So with the team performing better than it had in years, with Curry, Marbury and the rest of these salary thieves not embarrassing themselves on the nightly, you take the carrot they've been chasing and stick it in their mouths. It can't be denied; announcing Zeke's extension with plenty of time left to go in the season sent the Knicks on a pathetic slide.
In fact, for all the bravado about an improved team, they're barely better than the humiliation factory they ran last season. Plus, as Adrian Wojnarowski recently pointed out, the extension really means nothing. If they play bad enough, Isiah will get fired whether he has 1 year to go on his contract, or a thousand. Even Isiah knows this. But it seemed like the threat of unemployment had lit a fire under the Knickersuckers to play for the job of the coach they love so. So why take away their only motivation?
They clearly love Isiah, and why not? For all the rampant failure and underachieving that goes on in New York, the maddest I've ever seen any Knicks (including Isiah) get about anything, is when they think another team is running up the score on them. Thomas doesn't hold them to account for their failures, so they don't hold themselves either. Now there's talk of bringing in Rashard Lewis. I hope for his sake he makes the right decision and passes. What the hell do they even really need to go after 'Shard for? The problem isn't a lack of talented players (at literally every position). The problem is the atmosphere of mediocrity.
Just listen to Dolan when asked about the possibility of bringing in Jerry West, one of the most brilliant and unstoppable men in NBA history, both on the court and in the front office:
"I wouldn't say to Isiah, 'Hey, Isiah, Jerry's coming in and you've got to take it,'" Dolan said. "No, I would never do that." (Ken Berger, NewsDay)
Good call, why put the needs of the team, city and fans ahead of your borderline creepy relationship with Isiah Thomas, the man who ruined the Raptors, ruined the Pacers and now has ruined the Knicks. Why do that, when you can run a clinic on how to kill a franchise. That, my friends, is what we call "screwing the pooch."
Didja Miss Me?
Of course you did. I'm not completely oblivious. I took the hint when you left a rim with a net in my bed. When I woke up, covered in Gatorade, I figured it was a message from the basketblogging mafia (Get it? That was supposed to be a play on the Godfather, think about it for a few minutes) telling me to bow to their will or be damned to the dustbin of blog failures. Well I won't bend over for any other blogs, I don't care how many politicians are in their pockets... Okay, I actually took a week off to manage my fantasy basketball team full time. You'll all be happy to know that with only today's games remaining, I am in 1st place with a 1.5 point lead. Pop the champagne bitches, the Cap'n's back.
Monday, April 9, 2007
Monday, Muddy Monday
Honestly now...
God Shammgod
Him and World B. Free need to hold an annual Ridonkulous Names Charity Streetball Tournament. Apple Blythe Allison Martin (Gwyneth Paltrow's kid) & Pilot Inspektor Riesgraf Lee (Jason Lee's kid) will be the guest MCs for the event.
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Jewish Jordan? More like Jewish Jud Beuchler. Looking for Mr. Goodman...
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Traylor the Jailer
Think he'll get a new nick name in the Slam?
All jokes aside, I feel bad for the Tractor and, to a lesser extent, the thousands of junkies going without a fix in Michigan...
No that's not a shower of cocaine, it's the backboard silly.
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Cut Short: Dwayne Casey, Bernie Bickerstaff, (soon to be) Bob Hill
Extended: Doc Rivers, Isiah Thomas and (soon to be) Brian Hill
What's wrong with this picture? How the hell are the best 3 coaches out of these 6 awful teams the ones who lose their jobs, while the 3 worst coaches in the galaxy get cushy extenshes? Something weird is afoot...
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Cavs and Bulls both lost, Clips and Warriors both lost. So for all my fellow Cavs/Warriors fans out there, hope is still alive, but we've got a hell of an uphill climb. Cavs pretty much need to win the rest of their games to pull a game ahead of the Bulls and lock up a top 4 seed, and to hold off the surging Raptors for the 2 seed. The Warriors need to do the same to gain ground on the Clippers and lock up that coveted 8 seed. All you high school football players, take a knee and say a prayer for Cleveland and Oakland...
God Shammgod
Him and World B. Free need to hold an annual Ridonkulous Names Charity Streetball Tournament. Apple Blythe Allison Martin (Gwyneth Paltrow's kid) & Pilot Inspektor Riesgraf Lee (Jason Lee's kid) will be the guest MCs for the event.
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Jewish Jordan? More like Jewish Jud Beuchler. Looking for Mr. Goodman...
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Traylor the Jailer
Think he'll get a new nick name in the Slam?
All jokes aside, I feel bad for the Tractor and, to a lesser extent, the thousands of junkies going without a fix in Michigan...
No that's not a shower of cocaine, it's the backboard silly.
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Cut Short: Dwayne Casey, Bernie Bickerstaff, (soon to be) Bob Hill
Extended: Doc Rivers, Isiah Thomas and (soon to be) Brian Hill
What's wrong with this picture? How the hell are the best 3 coaches out of these 6 awful teams the ones who lose their jobs, while the 3 worst coaches in the galaxy get cushy extenshes? Something weird is afoot...
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Cavs and Bulls both lost, Clips and Warriors both lost. So for all my fellow Cavs/Warriors fans out there, hope is still alive, but we've got a hell of an uphill climb. Cavs pretty much need to win the rest of their games to pull a game ahead of the Bulls and lock up a top 4 seed, and to hold off the surging Raptors for the 2 seed. The Warriors need to do the same to gain ground on the Clippers and lock up that coveted 8 seed. All you high school football players, take a knee and say a prayer for Cleveland and Oakland...
Saturday, April 7, 2007
J Kidd and Vinsanity: Double Triple Double
Jason Kidd and Vince Carter both put up triple doubles in the same game.
V. Carter 16-28 FG 16 REB 10 ASS 46 PTS
J. Kidd 4-12 FG 16 REB 18 ASS 10 PTS 9 TO
Yes that's right, Kidd was 1 TO away from a quadruple double. Nuts! Has 2 trip dubs on the same team in the same game ever happened before?
V. Carter 16-28 FG 16 REB 10 ASS 46 PTS
J. Kidd 4-12 FG 16 REB 18 ASS 10 PTS 9 TO
Yes that's right, Kidd was 1 TO away from a quadruple double. Nuts! Has 2 trip dubs on the same team in the same game ever happened before?
Friday, April 6, 2007
50 Cent Presents: Michael Ray Redux
See, here's my problem with the myriad people coming to Richardson's defense on his stupid, bigoted, yet warm hearted statements about Jews: once you start giving passes for "good" intent, you create more confusion over what is and is not acceptable.
Jewish propensity for financial and legal positions is based in an ages old tradition of getting hunted down, murdered, enslaved or expelled by essentially every society on the planet. In short, we've been hunted since day one, so we find ourselves in jobs that we can pick up and take with us in the middle of the night when the storm troopers come to kill us. In fact, in a lot ways we're like Jedis, only we use Math proficiency instead of light sabers. Now Michael Ray actually hinted toward this understanding in his comments about his kick ass "Jew lawyers." When you factor in his time spent in Israel, Jewish wife and kids, I can sort of live with it. Additionally, his famous "Ship be sinking..." quote may be the most inadvertently insightful and simultaneously hilarious statement by a pro athlete in history. So I've talked it over with the rest of the Jews at the weekly conspiracy meeting, and we're gonna officially give Michael Ray a pass.
50 Cent is a different story altogether. Forget about the fact that he's a terrible and talentless rapper. Forget about the fact that he's maybe the worst influence on the youth of our country since Joe Camel. Forget about the fact that he's a multi gajillionaire crying about having to pay lawyers who probably have to work 'round the clock to keep him and his moronic posse out of jail. Even forget about his obscenely unwatchable movie Get Rich or Die Trying, which was like an elegy of idiocy. My question is this; what the hell is 50 Cent doing calling up a radio station to warn them about Jewish lawyers? Is there some sort of imminent attack by roving bands of lawyers? Is the law firm of Smilovitz, Smilovitz, Rothstein and Rosenbaum hitting the streets with high tech weaponry and bad attitudes? Or is 50 Cent just a fucking idiot?
My worry is that 50 heard Michael Ray and got it in his head that that was an acceptable thing to say. I know someone who just lost his invite to the Annual Matzoh Ball Soup Cook Off. Sucks for him, 'cause we're gonna be drinking Manischewitz "like it's your birthday..."
Jewish propensity for financial and legal positions is based in an ages old tradition of getting hunted down, murdered, enslaved or expelled by essentially every society on the planet. In short, we've been hunted since day one, so we find ourselves in jobs that we can pick up and take with us in the middle of the night when the storm troopers come to kill us. In fact, in a lot ways we're like Jedis, only we use Math proficiency instead of light sabers. Now Michael Ray actually hinted toward this understanding in his comments about his kick ass "Jew lawyers." When you factor in his time spent in Israel, Jewish wife and kids, I can sort of live with it. Additionally, his famous "Ship be sinking..." quote may be the most inadvertently insightful and simultaneously hilarious statement by a pro athlete in history. So I've talked it over with the rest of the Jews at the weekly conspiracy meeting, and we're gonna officially give Michael Ray a pass.
50 Cent is a different story altogether. Forget about the fact that he's a terrible and talentless rapper. Forget about the fact that he's maybe the worst influence on the youth of our country since Joe Camel. Forget about the fact that he's a multi gajillionaire crying about having to pay lawyers who probably have to work 'round the clock to keep him and his moronic posse out of jail. Even forget about his obscenely unwatchable movie Get Rich or Die Trying, which was like an elegy of idiocy. My question is this; what the hell is 50 Cent doing calling up a radio station to warn them about Jewish lawyers? Is there some sort of imminent attack by roving bands of lawyers? Is the law firm of Smilovitz, Smilovitz, Rothstein and Rosenbaum hitting the streets with high tech weaponry and bad attitudes? Or is 50 Cent just a fucking idiot?
My worry is that 50 heard Michael Ray and got it in his head that that was an acceptable thing to say. I know someone who just lost his invite to the Annual Matzoh Ball Soup Cook Off. Sucks for him, 'cause we're gonna be drinking Manischewitz "like it's your birthday..."
Thursday, April 5, 2007
Thursday...
From a Wizards press release:
Washington Wizards President of Basketball Operations Ernie Grunfeld announced today that guard Gilbert Arenas has sustained a lateral meniscus tear in his left knee, and the tear will be repaired by arthroscopic surgery. Arenas, who suffered the injury in the first quarter of Washington's game vs. Charlotte on April 4, is expected to be out for 2-3 months.
Dude, the Wizards can't catch a break. Without Caron they're a long shot in the playoffs. Without Butler or Arenas, I'm not even sure they can hang onto their playoff spot. I will say this; for all his obnoxious bluster, I honestly think Arenas is less important to the team's success than Caron.
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Holy Hell.
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Oh come on!
Hughes is close to a seven-figure bonus in his contract, but he'll need his teammates' help to get there. The deal Hughes signed in the summer of 2005 includes a $2 million payout if the Cavs reach 49 wins this season.
Does he get a bonus punch in the stomach if he shoots 25% from the field for the rest of the season?
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There are a very limited number of guys in the world that I respect named Tex. This is one of 'em. At least he didn't get passed over in favor of a WNBA coach and a couple of EuroLeague coaches... oh wait. Tex Winter on getting snubbed by the Hall of Fame voting committee:
"I think my family is a little more disappointed than I am,"
"I think that they think, 'Well, Tex Winter, he was just an assistant coach with the Chicago Bulls, with Phil and with the Lakers.' I coached basketball longer than anyone in history. There's a lot of things that they don't consider. Maybe they are going to wait until I'm dead." Los Angeles Times
Now there's a guy who doesn't sound bitter...
_________________________________________
There are two big games going on tonight. Cleveland and Miami are squaring off, with both of them jockeying for playoff position. With Washington basically packing it in and raising a white flag, Miami is rejuvenated. The Cavs are still trying to hold off the surging Bulls and maybe catch up to the stumbling Pistons. Meanwhile, across the country, Phoenix and San Antone will give us a 2nd round preview. I predict San Antonio will lose to the Suns tonight, but they will beat them in a best of 7 come playoff time. The Cavs will beat Miami, and should they meet in the playoffs, the Cavs'll do it again.
Washington Wizards President of Basketball Operations Ernie Grunfeld announced today that guard Gilbert Arenas has sustained a lateral meniscus tear in his left knee, and the tear will be repaired by arthroscopic surgery. Arenas, who suffered the injury in the first quarter of Washington's game vs. Charlotte on April 4, is expected to be out for 2-3 months.
Dude, the Wizards can't catch a break. Without Caron they're a long shot in the playoffs. Without Butler or Arenas, I'm not even sure they can hang onto their playoff spot. I will say this; for all his obnoxious bluster, I honestly think Arenas is less important to the team's success than Caron.
_________________________________________
Holy Hell.
_________________________________________
Oh come on!
Hughes is close to a seven-figure bonus in his contract, but he'll need his teammates' help to get there. The deal Hughes signed in the summer of 2005 includes a $2 million payout if the Cavs reach 49 wins this season.
Does he get a bonus punch in the stomach if he shoots 25% from the field for the rest of the season?
_________________________________________
There are a very limited number of guys in the world that I respect named Tex. This is one of 'em. At least he didn't get passed over in favor of a WNBA coach and a couple of EuroLeague coaches... oh wait. Tex Winter on getting snubbed by the Hall of Fame voting committee:
"I think my family is a little more disappointed than I am,"
"I think that they think, 'Well, Tex Winter, he was just an assistant coach with the Chicago Bulls, with Phil and with the Lakers.' I coached basketball longer than anyone in history. There's a lot of things that they don't consider. Maybe they are going to wait until I'm dead." Los Angeles Times
Now there's a guy who doesn't sound bitter...
_________________________________________
There are two big games going on tonight. Cleveland and Miami are squaring off, with both of them jockeying for playoff position. With Washington basically packing it in and raising a white flag, Miami is rejuvenated. The Cavs are still trying to hold off the surging Bulls and maybe catch up to the stumbling Pistons. Meanwhile, across the country, Phoenix and San Antone will give us a 2nd round preview. I predict San Antonio will lose to the Suns tonight, but they will beat them in a best of 7 come playoff time. The Cavs will beat Miami, and should they meet in the playoffs, the Cavs'll do it again.
Tuesday, April 3, 2007
Tuesday Tip Back
When there was talk before Jamal Crawford was hurt that Knicks guard Steve Francis might be bought out, the Cavs were said to be interested. But the word is they'll pursue Cleveland native Earl Boykins after the season. Chicago Tribune
You know I love Boyk. Not only because he's a baller, but because we have a lot in common. I rep 216(Cleveland) for life, just like him. I am a short guy from Cleveland with absurd basketball skills, mad hustle, a mustache that makes women's panties literally disintegrate, and a chip on my shoulder. Just like him. And just like him, Nike had an ad campaign designed around me too. Although instead of a blue poisonous tree frog, they likened me to an aging syphillitic tree squirrel. At any rate, I like Boyk. But I do not want him back in Cleveland. We need a true point. Not another shoot first, 35% FG "marksman" like the Duke of Earl. He rules, and he plays with the heart of a guy 3 times his size. But I don't want him in CLeveland, unless we unload Damon Jones or Larry Hughes, or both.
Got this off of TrueHoop (of course). Dunking over a row of kids may be the coolest thing in the history of cool things. His name is Henry Bekkering, but you can call him Whitey McJumpsalot.
You know I love Boyk. Not only because he's a baller, but because we have a lot in common. I rep 216(Cleveland) for life, just like him. I am a short guy from Cleveland with absurd basketball skills, mad hustle, a mustache that makes women's panties literally disintegrate, and a chip on my shoulder. Just like him. And just like him, Nike had an ad campaign designed around me too. Although instead of a blue poisonous tree frog, they likened me to an aging syphillitic tree squirrel. At any rate, I like Boyk. But I do not want him back in Cleveland. We need a true point. Not another shoot first, 35% FG "marksman" like the Duke of Earl. He rules, and he plays with the heart of a guy 3 times his size. But I don't want him in CLeveland, unless we unload Damon Jones or Larry Hughes, or both.
Got this off of TrueHoop (of course). Dunking over a row of kids may be the coolest thing in the history of cool things. His name is Henry Bekkering, but you can call him Whitey McJumpsalot.
Delonte West Falls On Face, Gets Horrible Call, Calls Himself Veteran
The Celtics had the ball for one last possession, and West made a move to the basket when he apparently stepped on Varejao's foot and fell to the ground. Cleveland was called for a foul, and West made both free throws to give Boston a 98-96 lead.
"Well, I didn't fall on my own," West said. "It was just one of my veteran moves. I drew the contact. I drew the contact and fell to the floor. The refs did a good job making the right call."'
WORST CALL EVER!
"Well, I didn't fall on my own," West said. "It was just one of my veteran moves. I drew the contact. I drew the contact and fell to the floor. The refs did a good job making the right call."'
WORST CALL EVER!
Monday, April 2, 2007
Mike Freeman: Putting the "Slow" in Slow News Day
Monday's been pretty slow on the news front, and I've been pretty busy with my job that pays. I'll give you a hint, it's not blogging about basketball. Anyhoo, this little item from CBS Sportsline caught my eye... and then jabbed a fork in it and twisted. It's by Mike Freeman. Like Jemele Hill, I'm hoping this dunce isn't long for the journalism world...
I'm right. I'm right in thinking that the Florida Gators could probably beat five lower echelon NBA teams on a neutral court.
Ummm, no you're not right. Obviously this is one of those impossible to settle debates, like who's better; Shaq or Wilt? The reason is an NBA team will never play a college team, and even if they did, it would be an exhibition, and you couldn't take the results as meaningful, because the pro players would not risk injury and hustle their asses off. So clearly we need to settle this hypothetically. Unfortunate, because I'd love to see the Memphis Grizzlies dismantle the Florida Gators by something in the ballpark of 100 points. Every time I read some sports writer who has fallen in love with the "heart," and team play of college ball, I dread the inevitable declaration that _________ (insert university of choice) could beat an NBA team. But this guy is pushing the boundaries of journalistic integrity, rational thought, minimal basketball knowledge and at least a hundred other societal norms.
"The best college team of the last 10 years," Cuban told me in an e-mail, "would lose by 50 to any team at the bottom of the NBA."
That Cuban is so shy with his opinions.
Would the Gators really beat an NBA team?
When asked to explain further, Cuban said: "Because every guy on an NBA roster is better than 99 (percent) of guys on college rosters. They are more skilled, play harder and (are) bigger."
These are the teams Florida would definitely whup: Memphis, Boston and Milwaukee. No-brainers. Memphis might be one of the top 10 worst teams in the history of the sport. Boston is not far behind. Milwaukee is just awful.
After those teams, the Gators would give just about any of the lower-ranked Eastern Conference franchises a fight -- including the New York Knicks.
Go ahead and tell me about the gap in ability and athleticism between the NBA and college. Spout the tripe and nonsense about how great the NBA is. The league is not great; it's top heavy. It is the Mavericks, Detroit, Phoenix and San Antonio. Maybe Cleveland because they have LeBron James. Just about the rest of the league these days is middling, average ball at best.
Oh sweet lord! Thank God Cuban didn't hesitate to put this guy in his place. Memphis is bad. No denying it. And they've definitely had an awful season, one of the worst ever. But they were without their best player for half the year, had coaching and front office turmoil all year, and more than likely have been tanking games since the All Star break to jockey for position on Greg Oden. Incidentally, they have given many excellent teams runs for their money along the way. I'd say Corey Brewer and Joakim Noah could make the Grizzlies roster. They more than likely would not get cut or sent down to the D-League. That said, the rest of the Gators roster can't cut it in the NBA. Cuban is absolutely 100% correct when he states plainly that the worst NBA player is one of the top 1% of college players who can even have a professional basketball career of any kind, let alone make it in the NBA. I would expect that Noah's fieriness and screams of passion would be silenced relatively quickly once he's being guarded, and has to guard, a one Pau Gasol. Maybe Noah won't be a bust in the NBA, although I'm very skeptical of his fundamental skill (I get it, he's a team player, a coach's dream, a fiery passionate guy who loves to win... who has a pretty crappy shot, even from up close, and is deceptively small and unimposing for 6"11') but he would get dominated from top to bottom by an unstoppable beast like Pau. NBA players have to play against other NBA players. They don't get to hone their talents against 5"9', 120 pounders. They have to bump with 7"5' 280 pound freaks of nature. That's why only the best and biggest can do it.
These are the teams Florida would definitely whup: Memphis, Boston and Milwaukee. No-brainers.
There's definitely a no brainer involved here; it's Freeman. For him to suggest that Michael Redd, Andrew Bogut, Charlie Villanueva, Mo Williams and Bobby Simmons would lose against any 5 you could glean from the Gator roster, and what's more, to suggest it's obvious? That's criminal negligence in reporting. I would expect that game to end with a score in the neighborhood of 140-65 in favor of the Bucks. In fact, make it interesting; sub in Earl Boykins for Williams, and Ersan Ilyasova for Villanueva, Dan Gadzuric for Bogut, Charlie Bell for Redd and Ruben Patterson for Simmons. I'll take Ilyasova, Bell, Boykins, Gaddy, and Patterson over the Gators by a more respectable 120-75.
And that's not even factoring in the question of which court and rules they'd be playing with. If they play on the NBA court for 48 minutes with a 24 second shot clock, the college lightweights would have to learn to play a game that moves way faster with a 3 point arc that sits several feet father back. You see, in the NBA the arc is 23'9" from the hoop (22' on the baseline) in college it is 19'9". That's right, for those of you keeping track at home, that means the college "men" shoot from 4 feet closer than the NBA. Which means Earl Boykins could lie down head to tow in between the two arcs and that the college guys can't shoot from as far as the ladies of the WNBA. This would kill them. They'd be getting shot clock violations on every other play and since the college game relies entirely on unskilled shooters chucking as many 3s as possible, they'd actually have to play in the paint occasionally. So that farther line is not inconsequential. If it goes the other way and they play on the college court with the 35 second shot clock and the 3 point arc less than 20 feet from the basket, the Bucks would hit no less than 50 three pointers, while eating the clock, and potentially thrashing the Gators even worse.
God damn it! This painfully ignorant article is giving me a damn ulcer. I could write a hundred more pages on this subject, but let me just put it this way, there is a clear and indisputable hierarchy: High School Girls get beaten by College girls who get beaten by High School boys, who get beaten by WNBA women, who get beaten by College boys, who get undeniably dominated in every sense of the word by NBA players (the only lack of clarity comes with EuroLeague, which is slowly starting to prove it can compete on the NBA level). You see the delineation? It's all boys girls, and women until you get to the NBA. There are no men, only players. If a woman could play on the level of NBA players, she would be counted not as a woman, but as a player. And if she was on the Bucks, she would join in the absolute and unabashed extermination of the Florida Gators.
I'm right. I'm right in thinking that the Florida Gators could probably beat five lower echelon NBA teams on a neutral court.
Ummm, no you're not right. Obviously this is one of those impossible to settle debates, like who's better; Shaq or Wilt? The reason is an NBA team will never play a college team, and even if they did, it would be an exhibition, and you couldn't take the results as meaningful, because the pro players would not risk injury and hustle their asses off. So clearly we need to settle this hypothetically. Unfortunate, because I'd love to see the Memphis Grizzlies dismantle the Florida Gators by something in the ballpark of 100 points. Every time I read some sports writer who has fallen in love with the "heart," and team play of college ball, I dread the inevitable declaration that _________ (insert university of choice) could beat an NBA team. But this guy is pushing the boundaries of journalistic integrity, rational thought, minimal basketball knowledge and at least a hundred other societal norms.
"The best college team of the last 10 years," Cuban told me in an e-mail, "would lose by 50 to any team at the bottom of the NBA."
That Cuban is so shy with his opinions.
Would the Gators really beat an NBA team?
When asked to explain further, Cuban said: "Because every guy on an NBA roster is better than 99 (percent) of guys on college rosters. They are more skilled, play harder and (are) bigger."
These are the teams Florida would definitely whup: Memphis, Boston and Milwaukee. No-brainers. Memphis might be one of the top 10 worst teams in the history of the sport. Boston is not far behind. Milwaukee is just awful.
After those teams, the Gators would give just about any of the lower-ranked Eastern Conference franchises a fight -- including the New York Knicks.
Go ahead and tell me about the gap in ability and athleticism between the NBA and college. Spout the tripe and nonsense about how great the NBA is. The league is not great; it's top heavy. It is the Mavericks, Detroit, Phoenix and San Antonio. Maybe Cleveland because they have LeBron James. Just about the rest of the league these days is middling, average ball at best.
Oh sweet lord! Thank God Cuban didn't hesitate to put this guy in his place. Memphis is bad. No denying it. And they've definitely had an awful season, one of the worst ever. But they were without their best player for half the year, had coaching and front office turmoil all year, and more than likely have been tanking games since the All Star break to jockey for position on Greg Oden. Incidentally, they have given many excellent teams runs for their money along the way. I'd say Corey Brewer and Joakim Noah could make the Grizzlies roster. They more than likely would not get cut or sent down to the D-League. That said, the rest of the Gators roster can't cut it in the NBA. Cuban is absolutely 100% correct when he states plainly that the worst NBA player is one of the top 1% of college players who can even have a professional basketball career of any kind, let alone make it in the NBA. I would expect that Noah's fieriness and screams of passion would be silenced relatively quickly once he's being guarded, and has to guard, a one Pau Gasol. Maybe Noah won't be a bust in the NBA, although I'm very skeptical of his fundamental skill (I get it, he's a team player, a coach's dream, a fiery passionate guy who loves to win... who has a pretty crappy shot, even from up close, and is deceptively small and unimposing for 6"11') but he would get dominated from top to bottom by an unstoppable beast like Pau. NBA players have to play against other NBA players. They don't get to hone their talents against 5"9', 120 pounders. They have to bump with 7"5' 280 pound freaks of nature. That's why only the best and biggest can do it.
These are the teams Florida would definitely whup: Memphis, Boston and Milwaukee. No-brainers.
There's definitely a no brainer involved here; it's Freeman. For him to suggest that Michael Redd, Andrew Bogut, Charlie Villanueva, Mo Williams and Bobby Simmons would lose against any 5 you could glean from the Gator roster, and what's more, to suggest it's obvious? That's criminal negligence in reporting. I would expect that game to end with a score in the neighborhood of 140-65 in favor of the Bucks. In fact, make it interesting; sub in Earl Boykins for Williams, and Ersan Ilyasova for Villanueva, Dan Gadzuric for Bogut, Charlie Bell for Redd and Ruben Patterson for Simmons. I'll take Ilyasova, Bell, Boykins, Gaddy, and Patterson over the Gators by a more respectable 120-75.
And that's not even factoring in the question of which court and rules they'd be playing with. If they play on the NBA court for 48 minutes with a 24 second shot clock, the college lightweights would have to learn to play a game that moves way faster with a 3 point arc that sits several feet father back. You see, in the NBA the arc is 23'9" from the hoop (22' on the baseline) in college it is 19'9". That's right, for those of you keeping track at home, that means the college "men" shoot from 4 feet closer than the NBA. Which means Earl Boykins could lie down head to tow in between the two arcs and that the college guys can't shoot from as far as the ladies of the WNBA. This would kill them. They'd be getting shot clock violations on every other play and since the college game relies entirely on unskilled shooters chucking as many 3s as possible, they'd actually have to play in the paint occasionally. So that farther line is not inconsequential. If it goes the other way and they play on the college court with the 35 second shot clock and the 3 point arc less than 20 feet from the basket, the Bucks would hit no less than 50 three pointers, while eating the clock, and potentially thrashing the Gators even worse.
God damn it! This painfully ignorant article is giving me a damn ulcer. I could write a hundred more pages on this subject, but let me just put it this way, there is a clear and indisputable hierarchy: High School Girls get beaten by College girls who get beaten by High School boys, who get beaten by WNBA women, who get beaten by College boys, who get undeniably dominated in every sense of the word by NBA players (the only lack of clarity comes with EuroLeague, which is slowly starting to prove it can compete on the NBA level). You see the delineation? It's all boys girls, and women until you get to the NBA. There are no men, only players. If a woman could play on the level of NBA players, she would be counted not as a woman, but as a player. And if she was on the Bucks, she would join in the absolute and unabashed extermination of the Florida Gators.
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