Telfair Upddate (with an extra "d" for a double dose of this pimpin'...)

Gazaaah! Telfair's done. But the controversy might be just beginning... Check this from the Boston Globe.

"I wanted to let you know that we have removed Sebastian's nameplate from his locker in Waltham," wrote Grousbeck. "The facts and circumstances of his case have not been determined but he does not have a Celtics locker and we do not anticipate that he will." Boston Globe

Well that was a weird way to say you're done with the guy. Focus in on the important stuff... his locker. I bet his lawyer will be so utterly owned, he'll have no choice but to sheepishly skulk away...

"I just think that what [the Celtics] did was with the season over they saw a chance to take a public relations shot and they did," said Hayes. "He doesn't do drugs. He doesn't smoke. He takes good care of his family. He's never been involved in any of those deals with beating girlfriends or causing trouble in nightclubs. He is not a guy who embarrasses you. He's a nice young guy. He's had a tough year.
"Why do that [make a public statement about removing the nameplate]? Why not say, 'Give it a little time. We'll see what happened.' They should show more restraint after they told him not to cooperate with police against a group of hoodlums [in the Fabolous case] who have been terrorizing athletes and celebrities across the country." Boston Globe



Woah, did we just veer off into the tangential world of cross country gangsta-chic terroristas? Or is Hayes just referring to the paparazzi, who must incessantly hound Telfair on the red carpet with his A-List friends like Laura Dern and Sam Elliot?

What the hell is going on? Telfair isn't what you might describe as "good" at basketball, but he's also not horrible. He could be a contributor for a team. Frankly, I can't imagine how a dude gets cut for being arrested with a gun, cooperating fully with police in a completely non-violent incident. Meanwhile Stephen Jackson literally fires his gun in public, and doesn't even get suspended.
Am I reading the article correctly? Does it say Telfair could get a minimum of 3 years in jail? Yikes. With his small muscular build and soft angelic features, he'll be the Belle of the ball, if you know what I mean. It also doesn't bode well for him that he's "beefing" with Fabolous, who may or may not have "peeps" who are "on lock" for being "straight up thugs, son." I'm quoting from my standard issue David Stern's Guide to Understanding Hip Hop Culture (the DSGUHHC).

Right Now: The PussyCat Dolls Must Be Destroyed

Watching basketball on Sunday has become painful (when it's not on TNT or FSN). It must be made clear now and forevermore: if basketball has a "soundtrack," those songs should mostly be hip hop. The reasons: it is clearly the music of choice of most of the league, it is the most popular music form on the planet, it actually fits the game, which is a constant changing of beats as the ball bounces. The game basically is a hip hop song. The opening tip is the intro, ala "Big L rest in peace..." at the start of Full Clip by Gang Starr. You'll often hear that in a hip hop song, not so often in rock, country, or (ugh) swingy-broadwayish-musical theatre type crap. Then there is that brief pause as the guy recovers that opening tip and the beat starts with the dribble. Then a player makes a drive, or a series of passes and shots take place which is like the rhyme. Try watching the Suns with the volume off on the TV and some hip hop, doesn't matter what kind, on in the background. Ever wonder why all the best Youtube highlight reels are to hip hop? The ones to Metal or Alternative just sound ridiculous. If you can't see that, you're blind.
Now I understand the league's push to court whitey as viewers, and I have no problem with it. The league needs to make money, and I want them too, so they don't stop televising games everywhere. If it becomes unprofitable, it'll be like Hockey, harder to see. So if you want to get back those 40-65 year old white guys that used to be your bread and butter, at least make the music a rock song. When I turn on NBA Sunday on ABC and hear the Pussycat Dolls do this unbearably obnoxious Broadway number "Right Now," with the lyrics modified for basketball. It makes me want to gouge out my eyes. It would be an unstoppably annoying song on its own, but making it the theme song of basketball is criminal. If David Stern and ABC want some sort of a happy medium, they should try "Walk This Way." Run D and Aerosmith. If that's not the frickin' Oslo accords of marketing strategies, I don't know what is. Either that or "Bring the Noise" by Public Enemy and Anthrax...