Brendan Haywood: Unemployed Or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Nameplate

Brendan Haywood didn't play a single minute in Game 4 and left the bench area before the buzzer sounded. He was also the first Wizard out of the locker room. To make his future in Washington even more of a long shot, the nameplate above his locker stall already was missing when reporters filed in for post game comments. Washington Post

What the hell is the deal? First Telfair gets fired via locker nameplate removal, now Haywood too. Since when did the nameplate become a status symbol? I have a nameplate on my desk at work, I still don't make shit.
Okay I'm lying, I don't have a nameplate...
But Brendan Haywood and Sebastian Telfair don't either, so that puts me in pretty mediocre company. In fact, those two guys are like the Mellon and Rockefeller of mediocre.
I'm a mediocrity baron.

Telfair Upddate (with an extra "d" for a double dose of this pimpin'...)

Gazaaah! Telfair's done. But the controversy might be just beginning... Check this from the Boston Globe.

"I wanted to let you know that we have removed Sebastian's nameplate from his locker in Waltham," wrote Grousbeck. "The facts and circumstances of his case have not been determined but he does not have a Celtics locker and we do not anticipate that he will." Boston Globe

Well that was a weird way to say you're done with the guy. Focus in on the important stuff... his locker. I bet his lawyer will be so utterly owned, he'll have no choice but to sheepishly skulk away...

"I just think that what [the Celtics] did was with the season over they saw a chance to take a public relations shot and they did," said Hayes. "He doesn't do drugs. He doesn't smoke. He takes good care of his family. He's never been involved in any of those deals with beating girlfriends or causing trouble in nightclubs. He is not a guy who embarrasses you. He's a nice young guy. He's had a tough year.
"Why do that [make a public statement about removing the nameplate]? Why not say, 'Give it a little time. We'll see what happened.' They should show more restraint after they told him not to cooperate with police against a group of hoodlums [in the Fabolous case] who have been terrorizing athletes and celebrities across the country." Boston Globe



Woah, did we just veer off into the tangential world of cross country gangsta-chic terroristas? Or is Hayes just referring to the paparazzi, who must incessantly hound Telfair on the red carpet with his A-List friends like Laura Dern and Sam Elliot?

What the hell is going on? Telfair isn't what you might describe as "good" at basketball, but he's also not horrible. He could be a contributor for a team. Frankly, I can't imagine how a dude gets cut for being arrested with a gun, cooperating fully with police in a completely non-violent incident. Meanwhile Stephen Jackson literally fires his gun in public, and doesn't even get suspended.
Am I reading the article correctly? Does it say Telfair could get a minimum of 3 years in jail? Yikes. With his small muscular build and soft angelic features, he'll be the Belle of the ball, if you know what I mean. It also doesn't bode well for him that he's "beefing" with Fabolous, who may or may not have "peeps" who are "on lock" for being "straight up thugs, son." I'm quoting from my standard issue David Stern's Guide to Understanding Hip Hop Culture (the DSGUHHC).

Sebastian Telfair: Through the Fire?

Or just opening fire? Interesting factoid: Sebastian Telfair has had more double-doubles in his career than run ins with the law over gun beefs. That's right, in 3 seasons the documentary film star has had 3 double doubles and 2 gun snafus. When you do the math on that, the Celtics finally realize what the rest of the league has known for a while; Sebastian Telfair sucks, and is not worth the trouble.
And now comes news the Celtics are doing the smart thing; pissing away the millions they spent on him, and "cutting ties." Even if Telfair hadn't gotten arrested, signing him last off season was a stupid gamble aimed at netting Iverson, which would have been a stupid trade. Ainge essentially mortgaged respectability at a chance to get the Answer. He may come out of all this smelling like roses if they land Oden or Durant, but that should be cold comfort to the Celts who remain years away from contending for the playoffs.
I'll admit that even I was wooed by Telfair's upside, but I realized even sooner than the Boston front office that signing Telfair was like bringing a knife to a gun fight.