Local News: Run SteJax, Run!

TrueHoop noticed something in my own local paper, the SF Chronicle, that I missed. Probably because I don't read that commie rag too religiously (read: at all). It's kind of sad how much I don't pay attention to local news (that commie comment was just to make me feel better... and they are a bunch of pinkos).
At any rate, for those of you linkophobes who didn't click above, the gist of the article is that Stephen Jackson has a court date on Thursday. Remember when he fired his gun in public last summer? You don't? Maybe that's because winning a playoff series makes people forget a lot of things.
So he has a game in Utah Wednesday, a court date in Indiana Thursday, and another game in California Friday. Essentially SteJax is gonna need a court sanctioned delay (or continuance for all you Boston Legal fans) or a jury full of Warriors fans in order to not miss Game 3. And should he be swiftly found guilty, he could be missing even more time. Like 3 to 5 years...
There's a wind of uncertainty blowing through the Bay Area today...

Shocking...

Appearing via phone on the Stephen A. Smith show on ESPN Radio 1050 in New York, Artest said: "I'm not retiring." Citing club sources, ESPN.com's Marc Stein first reported that Artest wanted to retire at season's end. ESPN.com

There's a huge surprise. Artest spoke too soon and now is rethinking his declarative statements. Here's a crazy concept, Ron... SHUT THE FUCK UP. That's it. At all times, just shut up and don't say anything. That way I can avoid having to blind myself with a railroad spike when you inevitably say something stupid and take it back 20 minutes later. Jackass.

Monday Business

Artest's teammates weren't the only ones he told of the news. Friday, he told the editors of www.hiphopgame.com, a Web site for which Artest writes a personal diary. Artest was unavailable for comment before the Kings defeated the Phoenix Suns 107-100 Sunday at Arco Arena, and he did not speak after the game, either. Sacramento Bee

Artest told HipHopGame, "I'm retiring from the Kings, to spend time on my blings, done questing for rings, all the ladies sing. Ronnie's heading to Europe, sippin' on syrup, with my feet in the stirrups..." Get it? It's a rap...

The NBA warned Gilbert Arenas on Sunday not to repeat his actions of Tuesday night, when he said he made $10 bets with a group of fans during a game against the Portland Trail Blazers. "We spoke to Gilbert and explained the issue to him," NBA spokesman John Acunto said. "And he assured us he wouldn't do anything like this again." Washington Post

Arenas added, "But I was drafted 2nd round, and I spent the first 40 games of my career riding the bench... Don't I get some sort of special consideration? I'm so under appreciated. I'm going to carry a chip on my shoulder over this, and now every time I play against David Stern and Stu Jackson, I'm gonna guarantee 50 points to make up for this shaming..."

Knicks boss Isiah Thomas has long coveted O'Neal, who has been remarkably loyal to Thomas to this day as the two remain close friends. The Knicks are sliding and will need a boost—O'Neal prefers to play outside now—to complement Eddy Curry. I may be the only one, but I still think Steve Francis has something. Plus, Francis can opt out after next season anyway if things don't work. To match salaries, I'd take Francis, Channing Frye and Hoosier Jared Jeffries, who hasn't worked out that well in New York, to give the Pacers a core to begin working with.

I can see why New York would want JO'Neal, but I can't fathom why the hell Indiana would want Franchise. Unless they've grown so accustomed to malcontents, that having just Tinsley in their locker room is making things too serene.

The Portland Tribune reported that Randolph, while away from the team last week on bereavement leave for the death of his girlfriend's cousin (sounds like quite the family man), hit a strip club while he was home in Indiana and left without paying the bill. The Trail Blazers said he just stopped by.

Yeah, he just stopped by... to get a lap dance instead of playing basketball with his team. Like Artest, some dudes just never learn...

Thursday Nuggets

Kobe on the recent Dallas Morning News article claiming he contacted Kevin Durant to pitch him for Nike:

"That's crazy. Don't just print something that's just completely false that makes no sense whatsoever. It's just really unprofessional." Los Angeles Times / March 21

Look, I like Kobe as much as the next guy (read: not at all). And he is maybe the best player on the planet. Nonetheless, his less than sterling reputation, and the Dallas Morning News' basic competence leads me to believe that Kobe's full of shit. It would be one thing if Kobe said, "hey, I admit calling him, but I was just giving him some advice." Or, "hey I called him, but it was just to see if he was mad at me for sleeping with his mother." But Kobe's insisting no contact was made, and the Dallas paper that reported he called Durant on behalf of Nike to throw money at him is simply making up stories as part of the now famous "witch hunt." They should call it a "bitch hunt," 'cause that's what Kobe is. I believe him like I believe Barry Bonds.

On Greg Oden and gooey memories:

Oden disliked basketball as a kid; he preferred riding bikes with his cousins. He didn't play in an organized league until he turned 9, when he and Zoe moved from Buffalo to Terre Haute, Ind. He started playing at the Boys & Girls Club, but his body couldn't catch up with his gangly limbs. Zoe could see his disappointment after a game, and he would cheer up only after she took him to Wendy's for a Frosty. MSNBC.com

I had the same deal with my mom. Only she saw my disappointment after play practice, and I would only cheer up after she took me to Starbucks for a double foam moccachino frappe lemonade double venti non fat espresso.

Greg Oden on freedom:

"College life has been great because I've had my freedom," Oden said. "I have my own place [which he shares with Conley], I can stay up all night, eat what I want, do what I want." Boston Globe

Yeah, I gotta tell you, ever since I was drafted by an NBA team, and started making millions of dollars a year, I get so annoyed with the way my parents have cracked down on my freedom. I used to get to stay up 'til 11:30, even midnight. But since I started pulling down the big bucks, mom says I have to be in the house and tucked in by 7:30 pm. Man college was freedom...

On Pippen's return:

Jackson indicated that signing Pippen was a possibility when the Lakers' roster was decimated by injuries to Lamar Odom, Luke Walton, Kwame Brown, Vladimir Radmanovic and Chris Mihm. Injuries could have allowed the Lakers to add Pippen, but Jackson seems unlikely to ruffle the roster at this point. "I talked to Scottie about it and he said he didn't want anybody to lose a job," Jackson said. Los Angeles Daily News / March 21

I get the feeling this wasn't so much a matter of Pippen not wanting to take someone's job, as Pippen not even being able to take someone's job. Pippen went on to say that the popcorn vendors' jobs at Staples Center were all safe... for now...

Sarunas Jasikevicius on regret:

“I wanted to play in the NBA, I had to try. But I made a bad decision. It was a big mistake to sign with the Pacers. The Warriors game is good for me, but I have had very few chances to prove it. I have a good relationship with Don Nelson but he has the star, Baron Davis, and the future starting point guard, Monta Ellis. I understand that. What I don't understand is why they didn't trade me when they could." El Mundo Deportivo

Yeah, no shit dude. Why the hell you didn't sign with the Cavs is beyond me. Let's do the list; we offered you more money, we offered you the starting job, we offered you the chance to pass the rock to the greatest player to ever lace 'em up, and the chance to play on the same team as one of your best friends from back home (Z). You chose to go pour champagne on hookers' heads with Stephen Jackson and the rest of the criminals on Larry Bird's hit squad (no offense meant to Larry, all praise due unto him...). Now that you've been traded from one team with a glut of guards to another team with a glut of guards, I bet Cleveland's looking a lot more attractive now... chump.

On teammates:

Lakers forward Brian Cook, who has missed three games because of a moderately sprained left ankle, did not accompany the Lakers on their two-game trip. Los Angeles Times

When asked for comment, Kobe replied, "Who the fuck is Brian Cook?

Nene on dual loyalty:

"Right now I only think about the NBA. But if I decide to return playing with the National Team, changes have to be made. Unfortunately, I think I won't play the Panamerican and the pre-Olympic tournaments." Prensa Latina

The Nuggets breathe a sigh of relief, as they now get to have the pleasure of seeing Nene's next season ending injury happen on their home court, rather than in satellite feeds from Rio.

Brazilian Dandy's Taco Hell Adventure

I think way too much is being made of this. Fan favorite Anderson Varejao tried to knock down a three at the end of the Cavs win over the Pacers on Sunday. The game was essentially over with seconds remaining, and the Cavs up 11. But the Cavs were also 1 point away from free Chalupas for all in attendance. Varejao clanked the three and then got death stares from a fleet of Pacers, and Cavs coach Mike Brown. This is just stupid. The game was over and Varejao (who's statistically embarrassing from anywhere farther than 10 ft. from the basket) lofted an inconsequential rainbow from 3 point land. It was an 11 point game, not a throttling, but also well out of contention. It's not like the Cavs were up 30; it's not like Varejao's a starter who had sunk 10 triples that night; it's not like he charged through the lane and gorilla jammed it; it's not like he was looking for 2 points to complete a triple double. He tried to score a couple points to give the fans an extra bonus. Both the coaches, Brown and Pacers coach Rick Carlisle, jumped down the poor kid's throat because they found it "unprofessional." What a load of bullshit. Here's unprofessional; getting your ass handed to you by another team and then bitching and moaning about a last second shot that didn't even go in. Do the Pacers have any dignity left? Varejao did the absolute right thing: he gave the fans their money's worth by playing his ass off and then tried to go the extra step and send them home with a smile on their face. The fact that we're so married to these concepts of "professionalism" (that strangely don't include things like beating the shit out of a bartender or firing a gun in public) for no other reason than that we think we should be is concerning to me. I can understand the concept of not showboating or trying to run up a score, but if you can't see the difference between that and this, you're crazy.

Read the whole ugly thing here.

Monday Slices

Rafer Alston, at it again? Van Gundy's playing it down, but Sam Mitchell used to do the same thing... at first. From RealGM.

Bottom Line: If Don Nelson shuts the F up, the Warriors at the very least would've been in overtime. Nobody else to blame, no matter how bad the call. From RealGM.

This is the kind of play that would get followed by James Brown shrieking "Good god, y'all! Hey, hey. Hey!" Holy shit, I am suddenly intrigued by Tyrus Thomas' upside. This is straight murder on both ends of the court. From TaurineDream.




And since we might be reunited with these two guys, how about a couple moments legendaire:

KG Compares RM to MJ... WTF?

Look even I said, yesterday, that Reggie Miller has a better shot at coming back than Pippen. But maybe Garnett's going a little overboard. Peep this, (from Rick Alonzo at the Pioneer Press):

Wolves forward Kevin Garnett said he thinks Miller, now retired, could make the transition from the broadcast booth back to the court.
"If it's Reggie Miller, yeah," Garnett said. "Michael Jordan, yeah. Any other old names you want to put in there, I don't think so."

First of all, as much as we all love Michael Jordan, have you seen him lately? He's what we in the sports industry might call tubbier than hell.
He looks like he swallowed Ron Harper. Him and Charles Barkley went to a Ponderosa the other day for lunch and the staff had to change their famous "all you can eat" policy at the buffet. But that's neither here nor there, because when the hell did we start throwing Reggie's name in with Michael Jordan? And when did it pass Scottie's name on the list of all time ballers? If we expanded the 50 greatest ever to 60, Regg doesn't make the cut. In fact, I'd argue you pretty much have to expand to the top 100 ever to find Reggie's name. Granted, Reggie's old enough to be KG's dad, but maybe Garnett's showing a little too much respect.

The Rifleman

Many forget that early in Reggie Miller's career, he wasn't the ace on those upstart Pacers teams that gave the Celtics such a fight in the '91 and '92 playoffs'. It was Chuck Person. His career numbers aren't much to gawk at, and there's no clutch youtube video of him lighting it up. But I remember watching him and thinking he was the best shooter I had ever seen other than Larry. Granted, Bird humiliated him those 2 series with his trash talking and hot shooting. But Person is still a guy who doesn't really get the recognish he deserves for being a baller. If anyone's got a tape at home of the '91 playoffs, please Youtube some Person moves, they're a beauty to behold.