Suns and Spurs

No shocks here. Suns and Spurs finish off the ill deserving Nuggs and Lackeys. Kobe's a punk. Nash is a gamer, the true MVP. Spurs Suns is about to be an excellent series. Tomorrow night, Bay Area get ready...

More Game 2s

The Bulls racked the Heat last night, and it's official: I love the freakin' Bulls. Luol Deng and Adres Nocioni are both in my top 10 list of players the Cavs need before they can take the next step, and Hinrich is the prototype of what a point guard should be. Ben Gordon doesn't always take the smartest shots, but he can hit from anywhere, and more & more I find myself impressed with his driving ability. The front court combo of Wallace, Brown and Thomas can clearly tangle with any front court in the league. Duhon is as competent a backup point as there is in the league, and could probably start on most teams. And as if that all weren't enough, Thabo Sefolosha is rapidly becoming one of my favorite rookies. Not to mention they're the best defensive team in the playoffs outside of San Antonio. Watching the game last night, all I could think was how old the Bulls make the Heat look. Anybody still clinging to the illusion that the Heat can repeat needs to wake up. Maybe if Wade were 100%... maybe. But he's clearly not all the way back yet. This one's as good as over.
I like the Suns almost as much as I like the Bulls. And now I have another reason to love them; they make Kobe look like a WNBA player. Last night they beat the Lakers to the tune of 30 points, and for the majority of the 2nd and 3rd quarters made the Lakers look like a high school team. A shitty high school team.
The most annoying thing is how much the announcers were slobbering all over him even while he played like crap, his team played like crap, and he didn't even have the decency to go to the sideline and commit harikiri. Kobe misses an ugly turn around jumper in triple coverage? "He's just so hard to cover." Kobe makes an ugly and ill advised pass to a guy who hasn't hit a shot all night (Walton) when he could have easily gone to the bucket? "Kobe sees the court so well." Kobe's team is down 30+ points and he doesn't even look like he cares? "Kobe is such a good leader!" When are we gonna stop calling this guy the greatest? He's got the talent, to be sure, but at this point it should be clear that his ability to win games is, at best, on par with guys like McGrady, Carter and Pierce. They kept talking about the Suns being wary of Kobe miracles, but I can't remember the last "Kobe miracle" I saw. Other than when he turned those stadium nachos into loaves of bread and my 32 oz. Pepsi into wine...

Wednesday Chumpliness

The Grizzlies are expected to talk to former Denver Nuggets general manager Kiki Vandeweghe, among other candidates, about taking over the front office. Memphis Commercial Appeal

I have two words for Memphis fans who think Vandeweghe will return them to grace: Kenyon Martin.
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Regardless of whether he retains his job as coach of the Sonics or if owner Clay Bennett decides to replace him, Bob Hill's life will go on.
"I'm not going to die," he said after Tuesday's practice. "I've got a wonderful family that loves me to death. I just had my first grandson yesterday. I've got a beautiful home in Texas. So I'm not going to die. If I'm not back, I'll feel bad because it's the first time I haven't been able to have success." Seattle Times

I guess he's not counting his 36-78 record as coach at Fordham, or his three straight 1st round exits as coach of the Pacers.
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"Yeah, we're going to play hard [against the Hornets] and hope for the best, but we're just going to have to shoot for next year. Can we still get into the playoffs? Yeah, we can. Realistically, will we? No." Los Angeles Times

That's Maggette illustrating perfectly what it's like to be a Clippers fan: painful, pathetic, un-ambitious, and scared of the Golden State Warriors.
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Bryant said he hasn't given any thought to his MVP chances. Orange County Register

Fortunately I have. He has none. Kobe is a great player who deserves an MVP award about as much as I do. To even discuss his name in the same sentence as Dirk, Nash, Bronny or DWade is a joke. In fact, as far as the numbers go on paper, and the teams records, I'm not sure how you'd justify Kobe over 'Melo.

"Winning MVP would be nice, but it would mean much, much more if we had one of the top records in the league," Bryant said. "To win it now would be kind of like an empty award to me." Orange County Register

To us all, my friend. To us all.
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Dolan also revealed that Thomas' sexual harassment trial is scheduled for September. New York Post

Wow I had almost forgotten about that particular noose around Zeke's neck. Make that reason 7,943 on the top 25,000 reasons why Isiah Thomas should be fired. Something else just occurred to me: could the Knicks be tanking to go after a high draft pick? I know what you're saying, "But Cap'n, the Bulls get the Knicks 1st round pick this year." Sure, I know that. And you know that. But are you really that confident that Isiah knows it? I'm honestly only like half kidding. I wouldn't be at all surprised to find out Isiah doesn't even realize he's given up maybe the most valuable draft pick since Bronny for Eddy Curry.
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Clyde "The Glide" Drexler may have been voted one of the 50 Greatest Players in NBA History, but he was voted off the stage Tuesday as "Dancing With the Stars" fans eliminated Drexler and partner Elena Grinenko. And after Heather Mills' fall in Monday's competition, she fell to the bottom two in voting. Metromix.com

I guess now he'll only have a career of legendary basketballing, a city full of fans who'd die for him, millions of dollars and his debonair charm and good looks to keep him warm. Poor guy...

Jemele Hill: Swagged... Big Time

Wow, what can be said about an article this putrid? Other than just, "wow." Where to begin? When my brother, Ball Hog, called to my attention an article that claims Kobe is not only far and away the best player in the NBA now, but even better than Jordan, I actually got excited. I was expecting a John Hollinger-esque number breakdown with statistics, and coefficients that might tackle the age old problem of comparing the stars of yesteryear with the stars of today. Instead what I got was this. Basically Jemele Hill just says Kobe's better than Jordan, and then backs it up with a bunch of spurious claims about today's players being better than Jordan's colleagues. Not only can she not back up her thesis with any evidence, she can't back up her evidence with any evidence.

"At the very least, Kobe's scoring spree over the last week should put to rest any lingering doubts that he's the best player in the NBA."

Says who? I'll certainly entertain the argument. And a convincing one can certainly be made. But that argument could be made before Kobe started increasing his chucking percentage. The bottom line is Allen Iverson could've routinely put up 50 point nights, but that's not so easy to do when you also average 7+ assists per night. Something else that both Kobe and AI share in common is their low FG% (obviously AI's is lower). I don't know when this stat became so inconsequential to Ms. Hill (and everyone else). Can you point out the season where Kobe averaged 30+ pts to go along with 54%FG? I'll save you the trouble, it never happened. Jordan did it twice. In fact Kobe's never even sniffed 50% from the field, including this year, in which he's shooting a career best 47%FG. I agree it's historic what Kobe did(scoring 50+ four times in a row), but he also did it to 4 teams that, barring any miracles, will not be in the playoffs. I might add that none of the 4 teams had guys like Bruce Bowen or Tayshaun Prince covering him. It may still be difficult, but it's obviously easier, to do that against the defensive likes of Mike Miller, Rasual Butler, Brandon Roy and Ricky Davis.
Calling him better than Jordan is a laugh. I agree they're comparable on defense, and in the clutch. Also that they're comparable in their ability to get to the hoop and their competitive ferocity. But Jordan won championships with Bill Wennington, a 90 year old Bill Cartwright, Luc Longley, but no Shaq. Furthermore, Jordan made Pippen, and to a lesser extent Rodman and Harper. Kobe has turned approximately zero players into all stars, let alone even slightly better players. In fact there's considerable evidence to suggest he makes the players around him worse, as they now spend 48 minutes a night standing around watching him play. But that's not to say Kobe's got nobody. Lamar Odom would be an All Star on any other team, Luke Walton's development into a decent player was obviously slowed by learning nothing from Kobe. Bynum's already a better center than Longley and Wennington combined, and just at the beginning of his rise. Kobe's got no Pippen, but his team is not exactly setting the world on fire, so that shouldn't be evidence either way. Yeah Jordan could be a jerk and probably would have had ego competition with Shaq. So? What the hell does that have to do with anything? No serious basketball pundit bases their ranking of Kobe on his off-court arrogance. The bottom line fact is that Kobe's amazing, but he's just no Jordan.
On to the most disturbing of the myriad unsubstantiated statements in this article:

"Yesterday's NBA player certainly was more fundamentally sound, but there's no question that today's player is bigger, stronger and faster. When Jordan played, he was a singular force that could not be equaled. Jordan was guarded by the likes of John Starks and Joe Dumars, who were fine players but weren't nearly as skilled or physically imposing as LeBron, D-Wade, Tracy McGrady or even Vince Carter. The NBA is tougher now."

My word that was a mouthful. Are you absolutely shitting me? I agree with the first part, the NBA of Jordan's era absolutely was vastly more fundamentally sound. And I agree that by in large the players of today are physically more terrifying. But why take 4 guys with decidedly suspect defensive capabilities and use them as your example? If you're asking me right now who I'd pick to cover Kobe, Joe D or Vince Carter, I would choose Dumars so fast I'd get whiplash. Is that some sort of joke? For that matter I might consider Starks as well. There are a handful of defensive stalwarts in the league now, but back then the superstars played on both sides of the ball. Is Shaq the most dominant physical presence ever? Yeah. But he's still only a hair better than guys like Olajuwon and Robinson. And in terms of D, I wouldn't hesitate to pick the Admiral 1st.

"Phoenix, Dallas and San Antonio are all better than the Utah, Portland and the Charles Barkley-led Phoenix team that Michael met in the NBA Finals."

Ummm, that is not at all obvious enough to me that it shouldn't merit some sort of supporting evidence. But let's say, for the sake of argument, that I grant that premise. Okay. Fine, Dallas San Antonio and Phoenix are better than the old Portland, Phoenix and Utah. Great, well Jordan dominated those teams thoroughly. There was never a moment of doubt that his team would win (except maybe briefly against Phoenix that one year). Kobe's Lakers got beat by Dallas by 36 points last they met. And they either lost (or won by slim margin) in their meetings this year with Phoenix and San Antone. And is there even a single reasonable sports writer on the planet who thinks the Lakers (with the 6, 7, or 8 seed) stand even a small chance of getting out of the first round of the playoffs this year? The sad truth is this Lakers team is not only completely outclassed by the big 3, but also by Utah and Houston. But that was me granting the premise. And in reality I don't grant it. I think this Suns team is very special, but I'm not that confident they would run all over the 92-93 Suns, which featured Barkley, KJ, Majerle, Ceballos, Danny Ainge and Tom Chambers, amongst others. I'm certain that today's Dallas is better than those Portland teams, although the 91-92 squad that got thrashed by the Jordan featured Drexler, Terry Porter, Jerome Kersey, Ainge, Duckworth, Cliff Robinson and Buck Williams. In short they were no slouches. But maybe Hill's boldest statement is throwing those unreal Utah teams in the mix as clearly inferior. The 97-98 Jazz that got steamrolled by Jordan in the Finals beat the Kobe/Shaq Lakers 4-0 in the conference finals. Good call, that team must've really sucked compared to today's "bigger, stronger and faster" players.
How to sum this up other than calling it what it is? She's jumping on Kobe's bandwagon. And don't get me wrong; Kobe is one of the greatest players to ever lace 'em up. I'd throw his name in with Malone, Drexler, Dr. J, Wilkins, Barkley, Maravich, Havlicek, etc. He's definitely one of the 50 greatest ever. But there's a separate rung that's occupied by a very select few; Jordan, Bird, Magic, Chamberlain and Robertson. Guys who not only dominated, but made their teammates dominate as well. And by those standards, Kobe can't hold a candle.
The issue is you still can't accurately compare the players of then with the players of now. But with this article, Ms. Hill has set the science of trying to compare the eras back 150 years. She has re-invented the wheel... and it's a square.

Why Not Send Garnett to Portland??

Zach Randolph is an offensive/rebounding beast. But he's also a discipline case, as evident by his latest stunt (strip club bereavement). They're gonna want to trade him, so they've gotta showcase him. Who would want him now? I'm looking at you Minnesota.
If KG forces a trade, ZR could become an appealing prize to the TWolves. Also considering their point guard woes, a KG for Randolph, Jack, and Miles deal might look awfully sweet. Granted, they're in some sort of rebuilding mode, but Randolph has to be considered the most underrated 25 and 10 guy to ever play the game. Think about it this way, his numbers at the time of the all star break were as good, if not better than, Chris Bosh's in a lot of ways. And at the time of All Star voting, Toronto was not doing a heck of a lot better than Portland. Yet Bosh was a starter for the East and Randolph got snubbed for Josh Howard. Plus Randolph is still young and could compliment guys like Ricky Davis, Randy Foye and Craig Smith better with his offensive tenacity. Jack would be a nice addition and would either light a fire under the collective ass of Jaric/James/Hudson, or walk on and take their jobs. For Portland, obviously, getting KG has got to be considered hitting the jackpot.
The question is; does KG like the feel of Portland more than Minnesota or, for that matter, LA? I actually feel like this could be a very nice fit for him. He's gotta like Nate McMillan, and he's gotta like Roy, Aldridge, Rodriguez, Webster and Outlaw. That seems like exactly the young core he's looking to help him make a march on the finals. Granted, right now they look farther from contention than the TWolves, who aren't even close. But the way Roy and Aldridge have been playing, they could both be serious contributors, if not all stars, next season. Now clearly Garnett is also looking for a vet presence who can "finish." Obviously this is a euphemism for Kobe. But I don't see why he needs that, per se. Brandon Roy is the kind of exciting young guy who has the abilities to become that finisher. And moving for KG doesn't mean the Blazers can't also make overtures for some other type of veteran presence who can help them. For instance, a move for a guy like Jerry Stackhouse (his contract ending), who the Blazers could probably lock up for something in the 2 years at 4-6 million per year range, could make all parties happy, KG, Roy, Wolves, Blazers, et al. And Stack would be exactly the kind of guy Garnett needs; he could fill the same role Sprewell used to: hit open shots created by KG and Cassell (or in this case, Roy).
And Blazers fans, just try and come up with a more lethal starting line than this: C-Aldridge, PF-Garnett, SF- Udoka/Webster/Outlaw, SG- Stackhouse, and PG- Roy. I could see that crew threatening for the West right away. And Portland's the kind of town KG could warm up to; a rabid fan base, a young exciting future, a "player's coach," and it's just gotta be better than Minnesota in terms of... everything except ice fishing.
Plus, assuming the Blazers miss the playoffs again, they'll be in line for another sexy lottery pick in a class that's got some gems. Now is the best time for Portland to make a move for Garnett. For Garnett, he's still got time to take a chance on another long shot before packing it in and headed to LA for the guaranteed domination of teaming up with Kobe. What do you think Blazers fans? Why not KG to Portland?

Thursday Nuggets

Kobe on the recent Dallas Morning News article claiming he contacted Kevin Durant to pitch him for Nike:

"That's crazy. Don't just print something that's just completely false that makes no sense whatsoever. It's just really unprofessional." Los Angeles Times / March 21

Look, I like Kobe as much as the next guy (read: not at all). And he is maybe the best player on the planet. Nonetheless, his less than sterling reputation, and the Dallas Morning News' basic competence leads me to believe that Kobe's full of shit. It would be one thing if Kobe said, "hey, I admit calling him, but I was just giving him some advice." Or, "hey I called him, but it was just to see if he was mad at me for sleeping with his mother." But Kobe's insisting no contact was made, and the Dallas paper that reported he called Durant on behalf of Nike to throw money at him is simply making up stories as part of the now famous "witch hunt." They should call it a "bitch hunt," 'cause that's what Kobe is. I believe him like I believe Barry Bonds.

On Greg Oden and gooey memories:

Oden disliked basketball as a kid; he preferred riding bikes with his cousins. He didn't play in an organized league until he turned 9, when he and Zoe moved from Buffalo to Terre Haute, Ind. He started playing at the Boys & Girls Club, but his body couldn't catch up with his gangly limbs. Zoe could see his disappointment after a game, and he would cheer up only after she took him to Wendy's for a Frosty. MSNBC.com

I had the same deal with my mom. Only she saw my disappointment after play practice, and I would only cheer up after she took me to Starbucks for a double foam moccachino frappe lemonade double venti non fat espresso.

Greg Oden on freedom:

"College life has been great because I've had my freedom," Oden said. "I have my own place [which he shares with Conley], I can stay up all night, eat what I want, do what I want." Boston Globe

Yeah, I gotta tell you, ever since I was drafted by an NBA team, and started making millions of dollars a year, I get so annoyed with the way my parents have cracked down on my freedom. I used to get to stay up 'til 11:30, even midnight. But since I started pulling down the big bucks, mom says I have to be in the house and tucked in by 7:30 pm. Man college was freedom...

On Pippen's return:

Jackson indicated that signing Pippen was a possibility when the Lakers' roster was decimated by injuries to Lamar Odom, Luke Walton, Kwame Brown, Vladimir Radmanovic and Chris Mihm. Injuries could have allowed the Lakers to add Pippen, but Jackson seems unlikely to ruffle the roster at this point. "I talked to Scottie about it and he said he didn't want anybody to lose a job," Jackson said. Los Angeles Daily News / March 21

I get the feeling this wasn't so much a matter of Pippen not wanting to take someone's job, as Pippen not even being able to take someone's job. Pippen went on to say that the popcorn vendors' jobs at Staples Center were all safe... for now...

Sarunas Jasikevicius on regret:

“I wanted to play in the NBA, I had to try. But I made a bad decision. It was a big mistake to sign with the Pacers. The Warriors game is good for me, but I have had very few chances to prove it. I have a good relationship with Don Nelson but he has the star, Baron Davis, and the future starting point guard, Monta Ellis. I understand that. What I don't understand is why they didn't trade me when they could." El Mundo Deportivo

Yeah, no shit dude. Why the hell you didn't sign with the Cavs is beyond me. Let's do the list; we offered you more money, we offered you the starting job, we offered you the chance to pass the rock to the greatest player to ever lace 'em up, and the chance to play on the same team as one of your best friends from back home (Z). You chose to go pour champagne on hookers' heads with Stephen Jackson and the rest of the criminals on Larry Bird's hit squad (no offense meant to Larry, all praise due unto him...). Now that you've been traded from one team with a glut of guards to another team with a glut of guards, I bet Cleveland's looking a lot more attractive now... chump.

On teammates:

Lakers forward Brian Cook, who has missed three games because of a moderately sprained left ankle, did not accompany the Lakers on their two-game trip. Los Angeles Times

When asked for comment, Kobe replied, "Who the fuck is Brian Cook?

Nene on dual loyalty:

"Right now I only think about the NBA. But if I decide to return playing with the National Team, changes have to be made. Unfortunately, I think I won't play the Panamerican and the pre-Olympic tournaments." Prensa Latina

The Nuggets breathe a sigh of relief, as they now get to have the pleasure of seeing Nene's next season ending injury happen on their home court, rather than in satellite feeds from Rio.

Who's Afraid of the IRA? And Other Friday Foolishness

If Ira Newble truly wants to find a team that would offer more playing time, he holds a player option on his contract for the 2007-08 season. But agent Steve Kauffman isn't going to let him walk away from a $3.4 million contract since he'd be a minimum-salary player on the open market. Despite his recent upsurge, Newble probably isn't going to get a lot of minutes since he plays the same position as James. Willoughby News-Herald

If the Notorious IRA wants to get paid more than 3.4 million dollars for his services, he better learn to rap. 'Cause he sure as shit isn't gonna get paid that much to play basketball.

Steve Francis told several NBA players of the buyout talks and that he was hoping to sign with Houston, where he lives during the offseason.
New York Daily News

Yeah, and Superman wants to re-sign with the planet Krypton, but that shit's been blown up for years...

Reserve center Scot Pollard told the team he regretted looking into a TV camera during a recent game and saying, ``Hey kids, do drugs.'' Pollard was sitting on the bench in street clothes when he made the remark during a 20-second timeout in Sunday's game against the Indiana Pacers. ``It was a bad joke,'' Pollard said in Thursday editions of the Plain Dealer. ``That's all it boils down to. There are a number of things people could say about it, but it just turned out it was a bad joke. Obviously, I don't believe that.'' Akron Beacon Journal

Obviously.

The Nets' Antoine Wright isn't backtracking about slams he put on his college "education" at Texas A&M. But he says he aimed his controversial comments at all colleges, not just A&M. "I don't regret what I said, but I regret doing the interview," said Wright, who on HBO's "Costas Now" said his high school courses were tougher than those at A&M, where athletes were "in poultry science for a reason . . . to get this grade [not] learn about chickens." New York Post

Wow, he really ripped the lid off that scandal. I think there were still 5 0r 6 people out there who didn't know athletes get a free ride at schools with competitive athletic programs.

The ratings for Marbury's premiere TV talk show with Kobe Bryant, "Stars on Stars" received a .1 rating (75,000 homes). While that would seem modest, a FoxSportsNet spokesman said the total is 15 percent higher than the programs shown in that Friday time slot the past three months. Marbury's second show is today at 4:30 p.m. Knicks superfan/filmmaker Spike Lee will be Marbury's guest. The show will be replayed Sunday at 2 p.m. and Monday at 3:30 p.m. New York Post

Only way I'm watching this show is if Marbury has Francis on as his guest and the two of them rate the top ten most overpaid players of all time.

Thursday Picks and Rolls

First off, the other day when I posted Artested Development, I thought I was being an uberclever genius. Turns out I was not the first genius to think of that clever title.

LeBron is "back," which in itself is misleading as it suggests he was not balling all year, and everyone's jumping back on board. I'd love to hear what Kevin Brewer thinks after Bronny single handedly owned the Pistons last night. The thing to notice is the double doubles posted by Z and Gooden. It was Z's first in a month and Goodie's first in 3 weeks. When Bronson's better the Cavs are better, 'cause the only way to stop him is to throw all 5 guys in his way and hope whoever he dishes to misses an open shot (or Bron goes to the line, and your %s are similar).

Shaqalacka sticks it in and breaks it off on the Bulls. Let's see, a 33-14 fourth quarter against one of the best defensive teams in the league... Yeah Shaq's really fallen off...

Taiwanese ballers show 'Melo how to not be a puss.



Big dude in a Uruguayan league knocks a ref unconscious. And then a bunch of idiots take off their shirts as if that's really gonna unshatter this poor guy's jaw.



Basketbawful takes Scoop Jackson to task on this much ballyhooed Top 10 Centers list.


Adrian Wojnarowski thinks Kobe could've, and should've, drawn a bigger suspension. And then flatly states that Kobe could whoop Jaric's ass... which everyone, even Jaric, can agree on.

Haven't seen this in a while, but it's still freakin' awesome.