A Burner's Sill Owns Rust

Yeah, that's an anagram for Bulls, Warriors, Suns, Nets. Call it a 2nd round losergram. A burner's sill owns rust.
The Bulls went down 2-0, but I still cling to the belief that this one's going 7 games. The Baby Bulls shot like 30% from the field last night. That won't happen in Chicago. As soon as they rediscover their stroke, this will be an interesting series. I promise.
The Nets didn't look bad against your favorite and mine, the Cavs. But that's all part of Bronski's plan. He's like the giant spider from the Lord of the Rings, except the spider probably would have made a funnier Sprite commercial. Only a few places bothered to pick up on the fact that it's now been over a month since the last time the Cavs lost a game. They may not be setting the world on fire, but they'll be mighty rested when it comes time to go toe to toe with the Detroit bad boys.
The Spurs are a bunch of hard assed, stone cold, killing machines. Just meat and potatoes. The Suns gave it their best shot, but there's no beating Timmy. Duncan's like the house in Vegas. Sure you'll win a bet here and there, but in the end, as the saying goes, the house always wins. The Spurs in the playoffs are like Dolph Lundgren in Universal Soldier. Although Manu Ginobili is unlikely to make a necklace out of the Spurs ears at the end of this series...
The Warriors are just about the only game 1 loser that walked away looking like they won. Utah's only hope was to walk into game 1 and slaughter the Warriors. That would've been the only way to stop the momentum. Instead they walked in and made it clear to the Warriors that the dream continues. If you thought Oracle Arena was bumping for round 1, just wait 'til you see the city of Oakland in round 2. We are gonna shake the building. The Jazz are good, but they've got no chance in Oakland, and now Golden State knows they can win in Salt Lake City.
So in review: Bulls will lose, Nets will lose, Suns will lose, Warriors will win.
A Burner's Sill Owns Rust... think about it. It's better than A Boner's Slur Swirls Nuts.

Monday Biz

First, big thanks to GasFace for his guest bloggerizing of the Swag. We got straight gassed, son. Stay tuned for more from the Gas one, as the Bulls-Pistons and Cavs-Nets series' unfold.

Next, after yesterday's Phoenix v. San Antone melee, there can be no doubt Steve Nash is the league's MVP. Either him or TDuncs, but whichever one of them it is, it sure as hell isn't Dirk "Early Exit" Nowitzki. In fact, watching Nash play through a Rocky Balboa-like bleeder on his face just makes the handing of the MVP to Dirk that much more of a joke.

Don't be fooled by the Pistons' game 1 shellacking of Chicago. This is still gonna be a hell of a series. The Bulls needed a game to find their sea legs. Now that they got that one out of their system, I'm expecting them to give the Pistons fits at home and hell on the road. This baby's going to 7 games. I like the Pistons to defend their home court and come out on top.

Cavs baby, Cavs. We didn't look magical, but Bronny gets the job done. That's all we need. We can ride the King all the way to the big show if we play our cards right. Look for the Cavs to dominate the match ups they can control. Nobody expects Larry Hughes to light the world on fire against J-Kidd, and Bronny on Jefferson or Carter isn't exactly a dream come true on defense for the Cavs. But Z, Gooden and Varejao should all have their ways with Miki Moore, Josh Boone and Jason Collins. I'm also looking to Eric Snow for a big defensive and experience push for Cleveland. He did it last year for the Cavs against the Wizards.

Shed a tear for TMac. I can't believe Utah stole this one. I knew it would be a tough series, and Utah's no bunch of slouches, but how does a team with Mac and Yao (not to mention Shane Batty) not get out of the first round? Either way this spells good news for the Warriors, I think. The Jazz are an excellent defensive team, but I feel like Yao would have absolutely eaten the Warriors alive in the paint. I don't think Golden State would have been able to play "small ball" against the Rockets. They should be right in their wheel house against the Jazz' 3 forward-2 guard lineup.
We still believe, Bay Area, don't let the fire die down. We can ride this wave of momentum all the way into a West Finals blood bath with San Antone or Phoenix.

Suns and Spurs

No shocks here. Suns and Spurs finish off the ill deserving Nuggs and Lackeys. Kobe's a punk. Nash is a gamer, the true MVP. Spurs Suns is about to be an excellent series. Tomorrow night, Bay Area get ready...

More Game 2s

The Bulls racked the Heat last night, and it's official: I love the freakin' Bulls. Luol Deng and Adres Nocioni are both in my top 10 list of players the Cavs need before they can take the next step, and Hinrich is the prototype of what a point guard should be. Ben Gordon doesn't always take the smartest shots, but he can hit from anywhere, and more & more I find myself impressed with his driving ability. The front court combo of Wallace, Brown and Thomas can clearly tangle with any front court in the league. Duhon is as competent a backup point as there is in the league, and could probably start on most teams. And as if that all weren't enough, Thabo Sefolosha is rapidly becoming one of my favorite rookies. Not to mention they're the best defensive team in the playoffs outside of San Antonio. Watching the game last night, all I could think was how old the Bulls make the Heat look. Anybody still clinging to the illusion that the Heat can repeat needs to wake up. Maybe if Wade were 100%... maybe. But he's clearly not all the way back yet. This one's as good as over.
I like the Suns almost as much as I like the Bulls. And now I have another reason to love them; they make Kobe look like a WNBA player. Last night they beat the Lakers to the tune of 30 points, and for the majority of the 2nd and 3rd quarters made the Lakers look like a high school team. A shitty high school team.
The most annoying thing is how much the announcers were slobbering all over him even while he played like crap, his team played like crap, and he didn't even have the decency to go to the sideline and commit harikiri. Kobe misses an ugly turn around jumper in triple coverage? "He's just so hard to cover." Kobe makes an ugly and ill advised pass to a guy who hasn't hit a shot all night (Walton) when he could have easily gone to the bucket? "Kobe sees the court so well." Kobe's team is down 30+ points and he doesn't even look like he cares? "Kobe is such a good leader!" When are we gonna stop calling this guy the greatest? He's got the talent, to be sure, but at this point it should be clear that his ability to win games is, at best, on par with guys like McGrady, Carter and Pierce. They kept talking about the Suns being wary of Kobe miracles, but I can't remember the last "Kobe miracle" I saw. Other than when he turned those stadium nachos into loaves of bread and my 32 oz. Pepsi into wine...

Game 1s

I am not on fire so far. I picked home court to hold across the board, and for my troubles I got screwed by the team I picked to win it all, and the team everyone else picked. San Antonio and Dallas both lost, at home, in their game 1 match ups with clearly inferior teams. Could it be that they've both drawn their Achilles' heels in the first round? If San Antone were playing Golden State and Dallas playing Denver would it have gone down differently? Dallas can't seem to answer Golden State's free-for-all, jump shooting death squad. And San Antonio clearly has no idea what to do with Nene, who is re branding himself as the power forward of the future. All I could think when I watched Nene yesterday, was how much I'd like to see him on the Suns. He's like a 6'11" Leandro Barbosa, substituting defensive aggression for jump shooting ability. He romped all over San Antonio yesterday. And as a Golden State fan, a former off-and-on Pacers fan, with a long time closet crush on the Spurs, I can't tell you how weird it is to like Stephen Jackson. But Jacko is backo in a big way. SteJax made Dirk look like less of a MVP and more of a DQP (double quarter pounder... with cheese). Things are getting interesting all over.
Toronto focused all their energy on Vinsanity, which worked, and got pecker-slapped by JKidd and RJeff. I still like Toronto to win this thing, but you have to wonder how good New Jersey would be with Nenad. Next year, with Nenad, Miki Moore developing into a solid backup and Josh Boone and Bostjan Nachbar coming on strong, the Nets could be intriguing again next year. If they dodge the injury bug, lookout; a .500 season could be in the offing. Phoenix handled their business like the pros they are, illustrating why Kobe is a punk who will never elevate the Lakers without a Shaq-type backing him up. Detroit looked chiseled against Orlando, but I would have liked to see a nastier, more self assured victory. Ditto for the Cavs. Game 2s should be hot. Cap'n, out.

A Picture Says a Thousand- Oh God My Eyes!

"Why yes Ms. Coulter, I think your vision for a more conservative United States is... is... what's the word I'm looking for? Oh yes. DY-NO-MITE!!" As mayor of TV Land, I declare this to be the greatest birthday party for Jimmy Walker ever!
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"Oh Brad, it's just you, I thought someone was robbing the bank..."
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"Officer, how many times do I have to tell you, I'm not drunk... I'm just very, very high on the marijuana..."
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Sweet! Looks like Suns have finally found a way to stop Tim Duncan in the paint.


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"Okay Jared. You grab Carmelo by the neck, then I reach around you here, like so. Then I give your nips a bit of a tweak. Nate, why don't you take off your shirt. See isn't that more comfortable? Can I get anyone a Fresca? A 'lude? Anything?" Just another one of Eduardo Najera's sexy parties...

Thursday...

From a Wizards press release:

Washington Wizards President of Basketball Operations Ernie Grunfeld announced today that guard Gilbert Arenas has sustained a lateral meniscus tear in his left knee, and the tear will be repaired by arthroscopic surgery. Arenas, who suffered the injury in the first quarter of Washington's game vs. Charlotte on April 4, is expected to be out for 2-3 months.

Dude, the Wizards can't catch a break. Without Caron they're a long shot in the playoffs. Without Butler or Arenas, I'm not even sure they can hang onto their playoff spot. I will say this; for all his obnoxious bluster, I honestly think Arenas is less important to the team's success than Caron.

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Holy Hell.


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Oh come on!

Hughes is close to a seven-figure bonus in his contract, but he'll need his teammates' help to get there. The deal Hughes signed in the summer of 2005 includes a $2 million payout if the Cavs reach 49 wins this season.

Does he get a bonus punch in the stomach if he shoots 25% from the field for the rest of the season?

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There are a very limited number of guys in the world that I respect named Tex. This is one of 'em. At least he didn't get passed over in favor of a WNBA coach and a couple of EuroLeague coaches... oh wait. Tex Winter on getting snubbed by the Hall of Fame voting committee:

"I think my family is a little more disappointed than I am,"
"I think that they think, 'Well, Tex Winter, he was just an assistant coach with the Chicago Bulls, with Phil and with the Lakers.' I coached basketball longer than anyone in history. There's a lot of things that they don't consider. Maybe they are going to wait until I'm dead." Los Angeles Times

Now there's a guy who doesn't sound bitter...

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There are two big games going on tonight. Cleveland and Miami are squaring off, with both of them jockeying for playoff position. With Washington basically packing it in and raising a white flag, Miami is rejuvenated. The Cavs are still trying to hold off the surging Bulls and maybe catch up to the stumbling Pistons. Meanwhile, across the country, Phoenix and San Antone will give us a 2nd round preview. I predict San Antonio will lose to the Suns tonight, but they will beat them in a best of 7 come playoff time. The Cavs will beat Miami, and should they meet in the playoffs, the Cavs'll do it again.

Cedric Ceballos

Good player.


How can this not be considered one of the greatest dunks ever?

Remember This?

It pains me to show a Cav getting posterized, but this dunk is as nasty as they come.



That's good old KJ sticking it to just plain old Hot Rod Williams. And just to give the Rod some dignity back, here's him rocking someone else's world on both ends.

Lunatics Running the Asylum

Over at the Washington Times, hyperbole is becoming fact. And at an odd juncture. Kevin Brewer writes, in an alarmist titled piece "Reign Over?," that Bronny has gotten worse. Maybe. So much so that while last year he was in a class with Shaq, Dr. J and Jordan (According to Brewer. I'd argue he was in a class by himself), this year he's not even in the top 15 players in the league. I'm not that familiar with Brewer's work, but this is the utterance of a man out of touch. LeBron's numbers have fallen off a bit this year, no doubt. But they're still in the top 5, easily, in the league. The only lines I'd take over Bron's are KG, DWade, Dirk and maybe Nash/Marion . Bron's still, most assuredly, top 5, definitely top 10, and even discussing top 15 is just a joke. Furthermore, at the time of this article's publication, peep Bron's line over the last 8 games:

33 pts, 5 rebs, 5 assists, 1 blk, 1 stl

The reign isn't over... it has barely begun.

mailerDamon: Message Failed to be Sent

Apparently Damon Jones came within 30 or 40 minutes of packing his bags on deadline day. I can't tell you how much that would've pleased me. Listen to this, from Bob Finnan at the Willoughby News-Herald:

"Sometimes (for teams) to make things work, you get at it. I was rumored for a lot of different places. From what I hear, a lot of possible deals came down to the last 35-40 minutes."One possible destination was Phoenix in exchange for Marcus Banks. Another might have been Sacramento.The fact that teams still want Jones is always a good thing.

Marcus Banks is certainly no Steve Nash, but I'd take him over Jones in a heartbeat. It's a shame the Cavs couldn't get that one done.