Brendan Haywood: Unemployed Or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Nameplate

Brendan Haywood didn't play a single minute in Game 4 and left the bench area before the buzzer sounded. He was also the first Wizard out of the locker room. To make his future in Washington even more of a long shot, the nameplate above his locker stall already was missing when reporters filed in for post game comments. Washington Post

What the hell is the deal? First Telfair gets fired via locker nameplate removal, now Haywood too. Since when did the nameplate become a status symbol? I have a nameplate on my desk at work, I still don't make shit.
Okay I'm lying, I don't have a nameplate...
But Brendan Haywood and Sebastian Telfair don't either, so that puts me in pretty mediocre company. In fact, those two guys are like the Mellon and Rockefeller of mediocre.
I'm a mediocrity baron.

Gilbert Arenas: Douchebag?

In the pantheon of satisfying Cleveland sports moments (and believe me, it's a wee tiny pantheon), LeBron's psych out of Agent Zero at the end of game 6 of the 2006 playoffs ranks very high. For two reasons: LeBron wrote himself into playoff lore by whispering in Arenas' ear, and the Cavs won their first playoff series in 200 years. But I just found a third; I frickin' hate Arenas.
What kind of self obsessed, obnoxious little prick is this guy? Apparently the kind who'll call a press conference to announce he's on the cover of a video game. Even Samus Aron, famous for being a diva, didn't call a press conference when she made the cover of Metroid.

Adrian Wojnarowski does an excellent job of taking Arenas to task in his latest blog entry. Read that here. Well played Woj.

What a douchebag. But even more annoying is the fact that Arenas is not traveling with the Wizards, he's not rooting for them, helping their ailing confidence, trying to get in the Cavs' heads, nothing. Caron Butler is doing everything he can, short of cracking open his cast and jumping on the court in his suit. Caron Butler is a young beast, full of heart, good spirits and team camaraderie.
Arenas is a prick, and there's only one thing he's full of: himself.
And shit. Okay, 2 things...

Gilbert Arenas: Still a Douchebag

You just have to read this, from an upcoming Chuck Klosterman article appearing in this Sunday's New York Times (by way of TrueHoop):

‘‘Sometimes you have to create your own legacy, and that is what I have done. There is no quirkiness about me. I just lash out at things, but it’s lighthearted. The freak part of me is not that I’m going to take 60 pills to get attention. I’m not that kind of freak. I just like to watch the Gummi Bears on TV. I’m not Ron Artest. I’m a character. The things I do, the things I say — these are things I sit in my house and think about. I know what I’m doing.’’

That's Agent Zero talking about himself. His concept of a "legacy" is apparently making everybody believe he's a Dungeons and Dragons playing social misfit. I used to hang out with a lot of D and D playing social misfits and none of them ever came off sounding this lame. Klosterman, Henry Abbot and others read more into this than is necessary, and even defend him as "normal." And I would agree; he is normal, because most highly paid athletes are probably douchebags. But I'm starting to think this guy's delusional fantasies are getting out of control. And wait a second, did he say he likes to watch Gummi Bears? That's either a reference to the old cartoon (which was great) or is it just possible he lines up the candy on his dresser and then picks their sweet gummi brains for ideas...

Remember This?

I was watching this game, and what the video doesn't show is two plays later, Antonio Daniels got sweet revenge on AI. In fact, Daniels' move is damn near as baller as AI's. Nonetheless, here is the priceless video of the Answer compound fracturing Antonio Daniels' ankles in a regular season game from last year.

Gilbert Arenas: Swagged!

Wow, the king of the douchebags promised 50, got 9 and then called out the one truly untouchable guy in Washington, Eddie Jordan. Fortunately Jordan absolutely owned Arenas. It was high time this jackass was put in his place. Hopefully Dirk will do it again next weekend in the 3 point competish. Promising to score a bunch of points against one of the coaches that cut you from the national team is just stupid. But if you're gonna do it, you better hope you come through on the promise, or at least have a solid game... or at the absolute least, win the damn game. Arenas did none of those things. The sting of this embarrassment should hopefully last through the playoffs.