Bits & Pieces

Shaq: "I'm like President Bush. You may not like me, you may not respect me, but you voted me in."
Wow, Shaq's selling himself pretty short. I like and respect him way more than President Bush, and I didn't vote for either of 'em.

LeBron (when asked about staying a Cav): "You don't put all your eggs in one basket. But right now I am mentally focused on being a Cavalier and trying to win a championship."
Multiply that by Bronny throwing up Rocafella signs at the All Star game and you get a bad omen. I already hear the whispers on the winds, from the foul lands of Mordor. They say Orcs will be attacking, and LeBron will be Jay Z's employee before his current contract is up.


Chicago Tribune: "The Cavaliers are said to be very interested in signing Pippen." That's just great. Hey maybe the next garbage idea they come up with for our Point Guard woes can be another injury case like Larry Hughes... maybe they'll go after Tinsley... Don't look now... ESPN.COM 2/18: "Jamaal Tinsley is the guy I'm hearing they (Pacers) want to move. If Bibby and Kidd stay put, I can see someone (Cleveland, LAL, Miami) considering him the next best option."

Here's an innocuous little slip-in you might have missed, from VegasPop:
"The night before the all-star turnout at Body English included: Russell Simmons, Lebron James, Nick Cannon, Carmello Anthony, motorcycle stunt king Carey Hart, Suge Knight, Jaron & Jason Collins and former Hard Rock owner Harry Morton..."
I don't like Bronny hanging around Suge. And the impressionable Nick Collison could be signed to a Death Row Records contract before the week is up. Oh wait, that says Nick Cannon... he's hilarious... Imagine my shock when gunfire erupted in 2 separate incidents. Of all the stupid meaningless crap David Stern rules on all the time, he should absolutely consider adding a straight up rule prohibiting players from hanging out with Suge Knight. Which is not to say I have anything against the man... who seems very nice... and docile... and unlikely to come hunt down an innocent blogger who's seen Biggie & Tupac too many times... You know what, on second thought, forget I said anything. Suge rules...

For the Record

Dwyane Wade's first name is spelled: D-W-Y-A-N-E. This may come as a shock to the 900,677,876 sports writers who routinely spell it D-W-A-Y-N-E. In their defense, why the hell would anyone spell it the other way? The way it's spelled, it should be pronounced DWEE-ah-NEE, or even, DWHY-ane. No wonder Wade's got such a chip on his shoulder. My birth name was Lakahisha Jenkins-O'Reilly, and it only motivated me to succeed...

The Tale Of The Tape

Today's post will be about the upcoming run off between reigning bag of bones Dick Bavetta and Master of the Classless, Charles Barkley. Let's face it people, they are both old, out of the game, and deserve to be retired. Not to retire, but be retired by somebody else.

Bavetta has been a personal bane of mine for a while now. His failing eyesight and slow reaction time have caused multiple teams to be expelled in the playoffs, not to mention the multiple atrocities committed upon the regular season.

Barkley, another personal bane, will not give the Cavs any credit, no matter what their record, who plays for them, or what kinda of hope they bring to Cleveland.

The call?

It's so hard to pick one over the other given that I hate them both so much. If Dwyane Wade was on the ticket, I'd pick him to lose, but I don't have that luxury. Instead here is my pick:

Barkley wins the contest in 15 minutes (for a mere 235 feet). 7 Minutes in (before either hits the far baseline) Bavetta is distracted when somebody glances in Dwyane Wade's direction. He runs away from the course to call the non-existent foul, completely forgetting he's in a race, drawn to the mystical non-foulness of DWade. Barkley tries to capitalize, yet falls and breaks both knees, after Kevin Johnson preemptively greased his side of the floor. Bavetta and Barkley both crawl to the finish line, only to have Bavetta's heart fail. Barkley wins in a gain for us all, Bavetta is dead, never to judge anyone or anything again. Barkley is humbled by the experience becoming a hermit for the rest of his life.

Let's all pray for this,

Slop

Dwight Howard

I know this is a week late, but since it was pretty much the sickest game winner I've ever seen, I had to post the video.



For some reason, people think he won't be ridiculous in the dunk competish. Personally I can't wait to see what he's got up his sleeve. If it's anything even half as awesome and innovative as Amare's dunks from 2 years ago, it'll be a show. I also wouldn't mind a shattered backboard.