Adrian Wojnarowski is one of my favorite sports writers, easily the best Yahoo! Sports has. Ball Hog disagreed with the Slopster yesterday when he called out T-Mac as a... a... what's the word I'm looking for...? Oh yeah. Pussy. I fell somewhere in between; Mac's definitely a poontang, but he may have a point about walking around with a wallet full of money in a town rife with lawlessness. Apparently Wojnarowski is backing Slop 100%. Read this (from Yahoo! Sports):
Woj Echoes Slopster
Congrats Slop, whattaya want, a frickin' medal?
Showing posts with label All Star Weekend. Show all posts
Showing posts with label All Star Weekend. Show all posts
Friday, March 2, 2007
Monday, February 26, 2007
Dwight Howard: Dunk Innovator
Dwight Howard is seriously taking this dunking thing to another level. No idea why he didn't do this one in the actual competish:
Monday, February 19, 2007
Simmons on his Game
There's a reason Bill Simmons is basically everyone's favorite sports writer, including ours here at the Swag. Brilliance like this, from his pre All Star blog:
Every ovulating groupie within a 12-hour vicinity will be making the weekend drive to Vegas to hopefully get impregnated by an NBA player -- a list that includes every hooker, stripper and jock-sniffing female between 16 and 40 from Vegas, Reno, Sacramento, San Diego, San Francisco, Oakland, Phoenix and every city and town in the Los Angeles area. To its credit, the NBA is recommending that all players wear two condoms at once, even during the day and when they're sleeping.
It's an obvious joke, and almost everyone made it, but Simmons hits it out of the park.
Every ovulating groupie within a 12-hour vicinity will be making the weekend drive to Vegas to hopefully get impregnated by an NBA player -- a list that includes every hooker, stripper and jock-sniffing female between 16 and 40 from Vegas, Reno, Sacramento, San Diego, San Francisco, Oakland, Phoenix and every city and town in the Los Angeles area. To its credit, the NBA is recommending that all players wear two condoms at once, even during the day and when they're sleeping.
It's an obvious joke, and almost everyone made it, but Simmons hits it out of the park.
Woah! Multiple Shootings at All Star Weekend in Vegas
Color me sarcastically shocked. What the deuce was expected from a giant NBA party in Vegas? God I wish I could've gone. I think WWTDD captures it best:
What Would Tyler Durden Do?
What Would Tyler Durden Do?
Sunday, February 18, 2007
Friday, February 16, 2007
For the Record
Dwyane Wade's first name is spelled: D-W-Y-A-N-E. This may come as a shock to the 900,677,876 sports writers who routinely spell it D-W-A-Y-N-E. In their defense, why the hell would anyone spell it the other way? The way it's spelled, it should be pronounced DWEE-ah-NEE, or even, DWHY-ane. No wonder Wade's got such a chip on his shoulder. My birth name was Lakahisha Jenkins-O'Reilly, and it only motivated me to succeed...
Thursday, February 15, 2007
The Tale Of The Tape
Today's post will be about the upcoming run off between reigning bag of bones Dick Bavetta and Master of the Classless, Charles Barkley. Let's face it people, they are both old, out of the game, and deserve to be retired. Not to retire, but be retired by somebody else.
Bavetta has been a personal bane of mine for a while now. His failing eyesight and slow reaction time have caused multiple teams to be expelled in the playoffs, not to mention the multiple atrocities committed upon the regular season.
Barkley, another personal bane, will not give the Cavs any credit, no matter what their record, who plays for them, or what kinda of hope they bring to Cleveland.
The call?
It's so hard to pick one over the other given that I hate them both so much. If Dwyane Wade was on the ticket, I'd pick him to lose, but I don't have that luxury. Instead here is my pick:
Barkley wins the contest in 15 minutes (for a mere 235 feet). 7 Minutes in (before either hits the far baseline) Bavetta is distracted when somebody glances in Dwyane Wade's direction. He runs away from the course to call the non-existent foul, completely forgetting he's in a race, drawn to the mystical non-foulness of DWade. Barkley tries to capitalize, yet falls and breaks both knees, after Kevin Johnson preemptively greased his side of the floor. Bavetta and Barkley both crawl to the finish line, only to have Bavetta's heart fail. Barkley wins in a gain for us all, Bavetta is dead, never to judge anyone or anything again. Barkley is humbled by the experience becoming a hermit for the rest of his life.
Let's all pray for this,
Slop
Bavetta has been a personal bane of mine for a while now. His failing eyesight and slow reaction time have caused multiple teams to be expelled in the playoffs, not to mention the multiple atrocities committed upon the regular season.
Barkley, another personal bane, will not give the Cavs any credit, no matter what their record, who plays for them, or what kinda of hope they bring to Cleveland.
The call?
It's so hard to pick one over the other given that I hate them both so much. If Dwyane Wade was on the ticket, I'd pick him to lose, but I don't have that luxury. Instead here is my pick:
Barkley wins the contest in 15 minutes (for a mere 235 feet). 7 Minutes in (before either hits the far baseline) Bavetta is distracted when somebody glances in Dwyane Wade's direction. He runs away from the course to call the non-existent foul, completely forgetting he's in a race, drawn to the mystical non-foulness of DWade. Barkley tries to capitalize, yet falls and breaks both knees, after Kevin Johnson preemptively greased his side of the floor. Bavetta and Barkley both crawl to the finish line, only to have Bavetta's heart fail. Barkley wins in a gain for us all, Bavetta is dead, never to judge anyone or anything again. Barkley is humbled by the experience becoming a hermit for the rest of his life.
Let's all pray for this,
Slop
Dunk Contest
Since I ramped up to how much I loved Amare's dunks in '05, here's a great recap video of the whole contest. And holy crap, Josh Smith knows how to dunk a ball.
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