Wednesday Wide World of Sports

Urgy gets sentenced to 14 in the slammer.
Read it Here.
Wait a second, the guys who got attacked with machetes and gasoline survived?

Fuck yeah! Kevin Willis rules:

The Mavericks are going to bring in Kevin Willis for a workout on Thursday to find out if he might be a viable option for their vacant roster spot. This is a sign of how shallow the pool of available big men is. Willis is 44 and while he was one of the most remarkably svelte athletes in the game when he was playing, the 7-footer has been retired since the end of the 2004-05 season. He won a championship with San Antonio in 2003 and last played for Atlanta. Dallas Morning News

Josh Smith is gonna get paid this summer:

It's funny how things work out. Nearly three full seasons since the Class of 2004 entered the league, Smith's steady rise has brought him near the front of the class. And with the entire group eligible for contract extensions this summer, Smith will no doubt be in line for a major raise from the $1.46 million he's making this season. Atlanta Journal-Constitution

Stevie and Zeke; a sitcom waiting to happen:

Thomas declined yesterday to sit down with Francis and explain why he's receiving limited minutes, though he did so with the media, saying Mardy Collins is playing better. It's unclear if Thomas and Francis are on speaking terms, and their divorce seems a given this summer. Francis, 30, is not in Thomas' long-term vision. Thomas grew increasingly agitated at questions about Francis' beefs across the last several days and raved incessantly about Collins. New York Post

Pollard and Wesley; going out on top like Bette Davis and Orson Welles:

Scot Pollard, a former Pacer, owns a home in Indianapolis, and his family plans to move back. Asked whether he was planning to retire at season's end, Pollard said: ``We'll see; I'm not sure. This is my 10th season; that has a nice, round feel to it.'' Cavs guard David Wesley has also hinted that he might call it a career after this season. Akron Beacon Journal

This Eastern Conference scout can get busy on my Eastern Conference nuts:

But you have to wonder what building mansions, rubbing elbows with Buffett, and co-hosting the ESPY Awards, as James will do this summer, have to do with achieving greatness on the court. "Does he have the killer instinct of Kobe [Bryant]? Not even close," an Eastern Conference scout said. "But he doesn't even have the talent of Kobe." Newsday

There is actually considerable evidence to support this claim:

"Seriously," Finley said. "The dunk contest has come to a point where we've seen everything. But he has dunks that people haven't seen." Finley said he has seen James White take off from the free-throw line and put the ball between his legs before flushing it through the rim. He also claims White can throw down a two-handed dunk from the foul line. "Nobody's seen that," Finley said. San Antonio Express-News


And here it is:



ESPNspiracy?

Tom Friend of ESPN The Magazine announced on Jim Rome's ESPN-TV show "Rome is Burning" yesterday that Donovan is going to leave (Florida) and replace Pat Riley as coach of the Miami Heat. What's equally intriguing is that an ESPN reporter on an ESPN network show claims the biggest basketball scoop of the season, yet the report is apparently being ignored by ESPN's news operation. AOL Sports
(ESPN responded by saying, "Dude, AOL blows...")

Big Ben; philanthropist:

Wallace is lending his name to the Starbury Movement, endorsing an affordable line of sneakers and apparel started by the New York Knicks' star. Wallace will begin wearing the Starbury II basketball shoe Thursday when the Chicago Bulls play his former team, the Detroit Pistons. And his own sneaker -- Big Ben -- is expected to hit the market in late August or the fall. "Kids don't really understand what it takes to go out and buy a pair of $300 pair of shoes," Wallace said at a news conference on Tuesday. "We don't understand the pressure we put on our parents when we're growing up. This is one of the things where I think the parents will appreciate it a lot more than the kids right now because it eliminates so much stress from the parents. All parents want to see their kids have nice things." ESPN.com / March 27
(Wallace added, "Of course my $15 pair of Starburys will be retro-fitted with a $15,000 dollar pair of diamond studded platinum basketballs, designed by P-Diddy.")

Just a young Serb thoroughbred from the street...:

After the game, Sasha Pavlovic was trying to sing a 50 Cent song. First, Sasha can't rap, at least not in English. Second, he was apparently messing it all up. So Donyell Marshall and David Wesley were trying to explain to him the lyric was "he's a go-getter" not "he's a go get her" as Sasha thought. He wasn't getting it, but it was damn funny watching the two of them attempting to explain what a "go-getter" is in comparison to what he thought "go get her" meant. Akron Beacon Journal


Damon Jones on proper driving safety:

Actor Eddie Griffin made news Tuesday when he wrecked a $1.5 million Ferrari by running it into a wall on a racetrack. The news sent shivers up Damon Jones' spine. Jones owns one of the most expensive cars on the market, a $600,000 Mercedes-Benz SLR McLaren. ``That is scary to think about,'' Jones said of the danger of damaging such a pricey ride. ``You have to drive carefully in it.'' Akron Beacon Journal
(Jones continued, "Now in my '86 Impala? Sheeeit, I'll take down a fifth of Wild Turkey, burn a splif and get behind the wheel of that sumbitch with a blindfold on...")

That's Wednesday so far, chumps. Hit up HoopsHype for all this and more...