Why Not Send Garnett to Portland??

Zach Randolph is an offensive/rebounding beast. But he's also a discipline case, as evident by his latest stunt (strip club bereavement). They're gonna want to trade him, so they've gotta showcase him. Who would want him now? I'm looking at you Minnesota.
If KG forces a trade, ZR could become an appealing prize to the TWolves. Also considering their point guard woes, a KG for Randolph, Jack, and Miles deal might look awfully sweet. Granted, they're in some sort of rebuilding mode, but Randolph has to be considered the most underrated 25 and 10 guy to ever play the game. Think about it this way, his numbers at the time of the all star break were as good, if not better than, Chris Bosh's in a lot of ways. And at the time of All Star voting, Toronto was not doing a heck of a lot better than Portland. Yet Bosh was a starter for the East and Randolph got snubbed for Josh Howard. Plus Randolph is still young and could compliment guys like Ricky Davis, Randy Foye and Craig Smith better with his offensive tenacity. Jack would be a nice addition and would either light a fire under the collective ass of Jaric/James/Hudson, or walk on and take their jobs. For Portland, obviously, getting KG has got to be considered hitting the jackpot.
The question is; does KG like the feel of Portland more than Minnesota or, for that matter, LA? I actually feel like this could be a very nice fit for him. He's gotta like Nate McMillan, and he's gotta like Roy, Aldridge, Rodriguez, Webster and Outlaw. That seems like exactly the young core he's looking to help him make a march on the finals. Granted, right now they look farther from contention than the TWolves, who aren't even close. But the way Roy and Aldridge have been playing, they could both be serious contributors, if not all stars, next season. Now clearly Garnett is also looking for a vet presence who can "finish." Obviously this is a euphemism for Kobe. But I don't see why he needs that, per se. Brandon Roy is the kind of exciting young guy who has the abilities to become that finisher. And moving for KG doesn't mean the Blazers can't also make overtures for some other type of veteran presence who can help them. For instance, a move for a guy like Jerry Stackhouse (his contract ending), who the Blazers could probably lock up for something in the 2 years at 4-6 million per year range, could make all parties happy, KG, Roy, Wolves, Blazers, et al. And Stack would be exactly the kind of guy Garnett needs; he could fill the same role Sprewell used to: hit open shots created by KG and Cassell (or in this case, Roy).
And Blazers fans, just try and come up with a more lethal starting line than this: C-Aldridge, PF-Garnett, SF- Udoka/Webster/Outlaw, SG- Stackhouse, and PG- Roy. I could see that crew threatening for the West right away. And Portland's the kind of town KG could warm up to; a rabid fan base, a young exciting future, a "player's coach," and it's just gotta be better than Minnesota in terms of... everything except ice fishing.
Plus, assuming the Blazers miss the playoffs again, they'll be in line for another sexy lottery pick in a class that's got some gems. Now is the best time for Portland to make a move for Garnett. For Garnett, he's still got time to take a chance on another long shot before packing it in and headed to LA for the guaranteed domination of teaming up with Kobe. What do you think Blazers fans? Why not KG to Portland?